Just another newbie - frightened spouse

You are going through such a difficult time! It is good to express your fears and concerns and we are here to listen and advise where possible. I can tell you from experience it is much harder being the caregiver than being the patient. You feel so much responsibility in making your loved one better or, at least, more comfortable.  But you can only do your best. Are you able to access the oncologist to find out if your husband can tolerate the chemo? And maybe to share your fears with him or her? It is very important to look after yourself too. Try to get a good nights sleep. Eat well, even if you do not feel like it. Twelve years ago, my husband was very ill with advanced bowel cancer but he is here today! We are often stronger than we know. Do keep us updated. 

California,

While your situation is a sad and stressful one, I applaud your clarity of thought and awareness of the "bigger picture." Your introduction is very beautifully written.  Many of the regulars at this Board live in northern California and other parts of the Northwest, so you may find someone in your region who can share practical information regarding health care privately via the e-mails here at CSN (I myself live in the Southeastern US).

Your husband's oncologist will assess his ability to undergo chemo.  In particular, he will have lung and heart function tests.  The STAGE of the disease (how widespreads or far along it is) will also be a factor.  There may well be work-arounds for the anemia and kidney function issues.

In most cases, Lymphoma is among the most treatable of all cancer types. USUALLY even late-stage disease is not a death sentence, even for somewhat older patients.  I hope that the additional testiing shows that he is ok for treatment with a good prognosis for improvement.  Your fears are understandable and common, although not every spouse is as honest in admitting to worrying that their soulmate might indeed be taken by this horrible disease,

max

OO7 said:

Hope

For the best and don't give up.  My father was just the same way a little over a year ago.  Your words pulled on my heart strings but happily he is still here.  

You both are in my prayers.

Hang in there, you're amazing.

I am so sorry to be late at writing, but you have been on my mind.  I too am an Old CA Girl, in fact born and raised here, as is my husband.  We live in Yuba City, north of Sacramento. We have a lot in common.  My husband and I are both 66 and he was diagnosed with Mantle Cell Lymphoma July '11.  I know how scared and upset your are.  Shortly after his diagnosis, he made a dramatic decline in a matter of days.  Of course prior to that he had lost weight, etc., but he went from practically normal to barely walking or talking.  His bone marrow was 90% cancer, so his blood counts were very low, so he was in a very dangerous position.  He did not have the kidney issues however,  I cannot comment about that but hopefully it is related to the lymphoma and can be dealt with during his treatment.  There is so much that oncologists know nowadays with cancer and chemo etc.  I am sure your husband is in good hands.  He or she will know how to handle this or will confer with others.  I thought for sure my husband was dying as his symptoms were full bore and with lymphoma, that can be very intense.  Like you, I was brave on the surface but really just wanted to crawl in a hole and never come out.  My hope is that things are settling down and you are able to breathe a little.  Because of my husband's low blood counts, his doctor was concerned about the toll chemo would take on his kidneys he was hydrated dailythrough IVs for about a week before his chemo and continuing after.  He was also given only 1/2 dose of chemo the first time and 3/4 after that, so I am sure your husband's onc will take the necessary precautions and perhaps he can get his kidneys functioning enough to deal with the chemo.  I know you must be praying, and especially for the doctors, they are the ones who really need them.  I hope you have good support from family and friends.  We are here for you and willing to listen.  We know the roller coaster of emotions that one feels, so don't feel you have to hold back.  As Max said, you can personal message me or anyone else through the forum.  Just click on our picture and you will see a prompt to send a message.

We all care,

Becky

oldcaliforniagirl said:

Thanks

Thank you for your replies.  It does help to hear from others, I wasn't sure it would.

We're still hanging in.  Definitely some days are better than others.  We see the oncologist Friday and I'm guessing my husband will be scheduled to recieve a port next week.  He's still losing weight and won't eat or drink enough. 

Guess we'll know more soon.

 

 

 

I am a 73 year old male who was told in 2011 that I had 4th stage lymphoma. I immediately went on chemo and with the help of an awesome doctor and RN nurse I fought this disease with prayer and with confidence in my doctors. Today I am in remission thank God- I eat healthy,exercize,and think positive thoughts always. I remember the words of my oncologist "this disease is very treatable even at your age and stage".