caregivers chat room

caregiverk said:

A new comer that needs help
I chat room for caregivers is exactly what i'm looking for. I've been taking care of my mom for about two years and i've experienced a range of emotions. We've had some highs and some lows. Some days she is overly sweet and other days she's saying some pretty ugly things to me. I have two brothers but they work and have families of their own just like i do,but they rarely come home to help out because of their obligations. I'm blessed to have my own business and my mother in law runs it while i'm away. Another blessing is the fact that my husband releases me without regrets and complaints to do what all i can to assist her. With all of this sometimes i feel that my ultimate sacrifice isn't seen and that those who rarely do anything are more appreciated. Being here is almost running me crazy. The mood swings, the negative words about me thrown from time to time is mentally draining in turn physically draining. One minute i'm the best person in the world and the next day i'm pretty much the worst person in the world. I feel guilty when i get angry and upset at the things that are said and done by my mother and even by my brothers who can do more than what they're doing. But, at the same time i think about that our emotions are all apart of us being human and that Jesus even got angry. I know that sometimes she can't help it because she is sick and is aggravated about the fact that she can't do for herself like she use to, but at times i get very upset because she's forgetting how much i'm giving up. When i think that way i feel like i'm being selfish. Anyway is there anybody out their that has been where i am now? Please tell me what did you do to cope? I pray and I fast but i don't know anybody that i can gleam from that has experienced what i'm experiencing.

Been there done that
Most of the time, her anger is at her helplessness, not at you. Like you, I pray A LOT! I don't fast because I need the energy to cope with all I have to do. No matter what, you have to take some time for you!I go to my room, which is next to hers, pick up the remote, and for an hour, I take me time. She will forget how much you are giving up from time to time, because she is in a fight for her life, and all she can see is her own pain. What I did, and still do when I feel used and abused, is I stop and give thanks for her, and thanks to Him for sustaining and giving me the strength and courage for the day. I ask Him to ease her suffering so that she might be kinder to me, and if she isn't, I thank Him anyway.

CLL- new comer

My hubby has been diagnosed with Leukemia,  CLL. I AM SPINNING... nonotsure what i need to do... he has bronchitis,  hes 70. Please advise! 

How do I find out about meetups in South Florida?

Its been a rough road to say the least. I am now after so long reaching out, to others in a unfamiliar environment to find . . . something. Im only in my early 30's, as with all here, never thought I would go through somthing like this. It's helpless, confusing. So I saw this post, and wondered if there are meetups coordinated. I could write a book on here, and don't know how it would be to have so many people carrying this load in the same room. But I Im reaching out. So if someone has a calendar or something that can help, greatly appreaciate it. Susana

caregivers chat room

Hello i am new to care giving as a support person and family member. This is a slippery slope but affords opportunity to learn something.

caregiverk said:

A new comer that needs help
I chat room for caregivers is exactly what i'm looking for. I've been taking care of my mom for about two years and i've experienced a range of emotions. We've had some highs and some lows. Some days she is overly sweet and other days she's saying some pretty ugly things to me. I have two brothers but they work and have families of their own just like i do,but they rarely come home to help out because of their obligations. I'm blessed to have my own business and my mother in law runs it while i'm away. Another blessing is the fact that my husband releases me without regrets and complaints to do what all i can to assist her. With all of this sometimes i feel that my ultimate sacrifice isn't seen and that those who rarely do anything are more appreciated. Being here is almost running me crazy. The mood swings, the negative words about me thrown from time to time is mentally draining in turn physically draining. One minute i'm the best person in the world and the next day i'm pretty much the worst person in the world. I feel guilty when i get angry and upset at the things that are said and done by my mother and even by my brothers who can do more than what they're doing. But, at the same time i think about that our emotions are all apart of us being human and that Jesus even got angry. I know that sometimes she can't help it because she is sick and is aggravated about the fact that she can't do for herself like she use to, but at times i get very upset because she's forgetting how much i'm giving up. When i think that way i feel like i'm being selfish. Anyway is there anybody out their that has been where i am now? Please tell me what did you do to cope? I pray and I fast but i don't know anybody that i can gleam from that has experienced what i'm experiencing.

I feel for you. If you read

I feel for you. If you read my story you would see the similarities.  I too have useless siblings. The thing that angers me is that my sister who does not work, has no kids and lives across the street seems to be the ONLY person (or so she thinks) that has a life and no time for mom. I have been pretty low sometimes and felt the guilt, like you, as well. We are human, we can only do what we can do. I believe that we reap what we sow. Keep your chin up. Say a lot of prayers, mostly for the strength to deal. You are doing what others cannot and there's much to be said for that.

grammy56 said:

Been there done that
Most of the time, her anger is at her helplessness, not at you. Like you, I pray A LOT! I don't fast because I need the energy to cope with all I have to do. No matter what, you have to take some time for you!I go to my room, which is next to hers, pick up the remote, and for an hour, I take me time. She will forget how much you are giving up from time to time, because she is in a fight for her life, and all she can see is her own pain. What I did, and still do when I feel used and abused, is I stop and give thanks for her, and thanks to Him for sustaining and giving me the strength and courage for the day. I ask Him to ease her suffering so that she might be kinder to me, and if she isn't, I thank Him anyway.

Ben there ,done that

hi , I'm the caregiver of my Husband ,he have Gallbloder  cancer ,not sute for cirgury for know , he's in Qimo  .i going to he's ungry ar bust every day ,I notice is only to me ,i can't do anything alright ,and he's insults are  very deep . so I'm always leave the house or lack myshelf in a room .

unforshuly  I went also 2 years ago with my Mother ,(Demencia) for 7 years  and I lorned in the hard way .is much diferent to care for same one in the hospital (I'm a nurse) the care for your love ones .

any suggestions ? Thanks 

Yazmine 

 

1blessedamongus said:

scared
My husband is 59 and was diagnosed just 2 1/2 years ago with lung cancer. He was just recently placed on hospice and has his good days and his bad days where he sleeps all day. On his good days when he is able to walk a little I think maybe we have another year or so then on the days where he is too weak to stand or eat I fear the end is near and that scares me to death. We have had good years mixed with bad years and I love him so but I wanted to retire with him and not have to worry about working when we got older. I am so afraid of being by myself as I have never really had to ever spend one night by myself because I am a scaredy cat. What will help me stay sane when our world falls apart soon. I love being home with him (I have taken FML )as his caregiver-we get to talk and just be with each other and we are able to talk about death. I try to focus just on him and stay in the Word because I intellectually know I can call on God to see me through but then I let worry creep in. How are you able to hold up after you loved ones death.

scared

 

I too am going through a similar experience with the love of my life.  He is now 62 and we have been dealing with his stage 4 lung cancer since October 2014.  He recently started home hospice in Feburary.  Since Feb he has been on constant oxygen but has been able to get around on his own until recently.  He has lost the ability to use his legs and has almost stop eating altogether.  I make him drink water every 1/2 hour but he is so tired.  I know he is at the end of his life and I AM SO SCARED TO LOSE HIM.  I cant stop this diease process and over-whemed with grief and cry almost constantly.  I cant believe my heart has not stopped beating from this sorrow.  He has a hospital bed in the front room and I sit with him on that bed most of the day so we can look into each others eyes and tell each other how much we love one another.  He gets upset that I cry all the time but I cant stop.  I dont know how to lose him.  I touch him constantly because I think he will not leave me if I hold on to him.  How does one survive this horiffice experience, I do not know.

 

Elaine_R

 

 

nannahannah said:

caregiver chat room

• I am new but think that's a great idea.  Being a caregiver by yourself is so hard.

 

Support

Hello. I'm new too. Wondering if caregiver group still active. Thanks