When your boss just doesn't understand...

TracyLynn72
TracyLynn72 Member Posts: 839
in Head and Neck Cancer #1

I have a rant to post.  I am so frustrated!  I am two years out from treatment, but we all know that there is a "new normal" that must be learned and dealt with.  Well, I have chronic dry mouth.  I drink water ALL day and need mints to help with spit production.  It's just something that I deal with, accept and handle.  Well, my boss resigned and EVERYONE at work felt I was the person who should step up and take her place (I've done the job along side her for 12 years!)  Everyone thought that except my director.  She was worried about my "health and stamina".  Whatever.  Fast forward to our summer camp program.  NO ONE had experience but me.  12 years of it.  So, somehow she feels that I'm well enough to run camp....101 degrees outside, 85 kids a day, 11 hours a day.  My throat is raw.  My mouth is the desert.  I am physically exhausted.  I went to my doctor and he said "NO WAY!"  He wrote me a note that I HAVE to take a lenghty break (2-4 hours) during the middle, heat of the day and rehydrate.  Well, she has gotten me NO HELP.  NONE.  I am stuck out there doing this 10-11 hour days in this heat and the doctor says it's causing a set back in my recovery.  I'm trying to speak rationally to her once more today and then the doctor is writing a note that I can no longer do camp and I need to go back to my little childcare job (4-5 hour shifts, IN THE AIR CONDITIONING).  I can't imagine why she is expecting this of ANYONE, much less me.  I wasn't healthy enough for a promotion, but I'm healthy enough for this?  No one really gets it but y'all.  I just needed to seriously get this off my chest.  I hate to let people down, but I have to take care of ME! 

Comments

  • KTeacher
    KTeacher Member Posts: 1,103 Member
    #2
    Yes

    yes, you need to take care of you.  We look fine on the outside so others think we are back to our old selves.  Luckily while I was working I was able to take care of many things during my breaks, I realize that you are not getting them.  I'm at a loss for the name of the group, Americans with Disabilities, you might be able to contact them to find out what help you can get.  I didn't have any luck at work with sick children.  Superintendent wanted me to find out what I could ask for legally.  I ended up with mets an needing to retire early.  Didn't feel like I had any support from the district.  Funny, a new nurse the next school year sent out a letter stating that sick children needed to be sent to the office to be sent home, that is what I was asking for and they looked at me funny like why wouldn't I want to be around sick kids.  It sounds a bit illegal the length of the shift that you have been given without a break.  I don't know if there is a legal number of children that can be under the care of an adult.  I know things change when they are school age.  Good luck and continued good health.  I don't know what they are going to do if you get sick.  You might bring that up to the Director (with the note from the doctor in hand).

  • denistd
    denistd Member Posts: 597
    #3
    ADA

    Tracy, you are a covered employee under the American with Disabilities Act due to the fact that you had treatment for cancer and there are residual side effects. The act states that you must be given Reasonable Accomodations to do your job. Your doctors notes bear that out. Her not proviudiong you with breaks and shelter is in violation and is therefore reportable.

     

  • wmc
    wmc Member Posts: 1,804
    #4
    You are right, you must come first.

    Somehow she is forgetting you are protected under Amercian Disability and she could get in a lot of trouble. As for you, take care of yourself first and formost. If she was any good at her job she would know she has been wrong both times. The company has to do whate they can, within reason to make it work for you. Keep notes on everything she has been doing and hopefully you will never need to use it, but you will have it. Thoughts and prayers.

    Bill

  • hwt
    hwt Member Posts: 2,328 Member
    #5
    wmc said:

    You are right, you must come first.

    Somehow she is forgetting you are protected under Amercian Disability and she could get in a lot of trouble. As for you, take care of yourself first and formost. If she was any good at her job she would know she has been wrong both times. The company has to do whate they can, within reason to make it work for you. Keep notes on everything she has been doing and hopefully you will never need to use it, but you will have it. Thoughts and prayers.

    Bill

    Lesson learned

    If we have all learned one thing, it's that life is not fair! Sorry, you are having to deal with an extension of that. I have been hospitalized more than once for dehydration so make that and your physical and mental health your priority. 

  • CivilMatt
    CivilMatt Member Posts: 4,724 Member
    #6
    stressfull

    TL72,

    Another one of the lesser known but, common side effects.  People without cancer in their life think they know about it but they don’t. 

    Keep fighting the battle, I wish you luck.

    Matt

  • TracyLynn72
    TracyLynn72 Member Posts: 839
    #7
    thank you all!

    Thank you all so much for the support and information.  I wasn't even asked to DO this job....it was just pushed onto me.  The $ has been nice, but not worth it compared to being physically and mentally drained each day.  I told them both exactly how things HAD to be, and so far they have honored it....today at least.  We'll see how the rest of the week goes.  I'm only at the 1/2 point for camp.  4 more weeks of this.  Ugh. 

  • PJ47
    PJ47 Member Posts: 376
    #8
    TracyLynn72 said:

    thank you all!

    Thank you all so much for the support and information.  I wasn't even asked to DO this job....it was just pushed onto me.  The $ has been nice, but not worth it compared to being physically and mentally drained each day.  I told them both exactly how things HAD to be, and so far they have honored it....today at least.  We'll see how the rest of the week goes.  I'm only at the 1/2 point for camp.  4 more weeks of this.  Ugh. 

    OK you are impressive and I am a wimp

    I foolishly volunteered for our Hospice Camp Sunshine which was a week full time but NOT 11 hours.  Many of the 7 & 8 years olds had a virus and for my good deed, I managed to get the virus and then got shingles shortly thereafter.  

    So, yes we can work,  but long hours, exposures and dehydration are not well tollerated by our bodies following the brutal treatments we have endured.  Our immune systems can only tolerate so much stress.

    You are amazing, but pace yourself.  BTW the week I worked it was 105-109 all week!  I told them I was "heat intolerant" and stayed inside to do food prep, clean up and crafts etc.  No one stayed outside for very long.

    Good luck,

    PJ

     

     

  • Duggie88
    Duggie88 Member Posts: 760 Member
    #9
    Hi Tracy

    Everyone is right, you need to stress your ADA rights. Maybe just print something from the ADA website and hand it to her.

    Rather than join a union just walk into the office and tell the boss you know a Teamster and I told you you still have 20 minutes left on your 10 minute break.

    Jeff

  • Hondo
    Hondo Member Posts: 6,636 Member
    #10
    People don’t understand

    I know it is hell but most people just don’t understand. I am still alive and can still do better then most people at what I do, my memory sometimes gives me a little problem but that is with anyone. They will always choose someone way younger and stronger to try and do my job, that’s OK but why do they always call me when there is a problem.  I finally retired and still get calls from them, I laugh and tell them, sorry but not my problem get your boy to fix it.

     

    But they know me, I always tell them what to do to fix the problem. Just sorry you are also having problems like that.

     

    Tim

  • debbiejeanne
    debbiejeanne Member Posts: 3,102 Member
    #11
    tracey, i'm so sorry to hear

    tracey, i'm so sorry to hear this.  it all goes back to nobody fully understanding except those who have worn your shoes.  there should be something legal you can do, i'd think.  its a shame that people really don't have ANY idea what it means to survive cancer and to NEVER be normal again.  we face so much winning the battle then we have to face ignorance too.  life is not fair.  i hope you figure something out.  maybe try going to HR.  I feel for you as I know that's a bad situation to be in.  But on the bright side, you beat cancer, you can surly beat this issue too.  i'll be praying for a positive result.

    God bless you,

    dj

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