to treat to not to treat, need advice

ealeman
ealeman Member Posts: 5
in Colorectal Cancer #1

Jun 25, 2015 - 6:19 pm


hello my 80 year old dad has just been diagnosed with both liver and colon cancer. we understand it it not good and he may live less than a year. we are having a hard time decisiding whether or not to treat with chemo. he is afraid of the treatment and would rather live his remind time in peace and not feeling sick from meds. doctor says not everyone reacts to chemo with side effects. and the chemo might prevent complications and spreading. I know there are no definitive answers but any advise will be helpful. especially from anyone who has been thru this. thank you. 


Comments

  • annalexandria
    annalexandria Member Posts: 2,571 Member
    #2
    I'm so sorry you and your family have to go through this.

    My family was in a similar sitaution with my husband's 82 year old grandmother.  In her case it was heart disease, and she had open heart surgery, despite a lot of misgivings on her part.  It ended up reducing her quality of life dramatically, and although it's likely she did live longer, her QOL was pretty miserable.

    So I don't know how you make the call in cases like these, but that did leave me with the sense that at a certain point I will probably choose to let nature take its course, at least for myself.

    The other thoughts I have are, first, that the ill person really should be the one to make the call, and not be pressured to do something they don't want to do, and second, that I have met very few people who don't have some significant side effects with chemo (and those are mostly folks who are way younger than your dad). I think you have to assume that he will feel sick to some degree from treatment alone.

     

    If he wants to, he could try one round, see how it goes, but I do think he should make the final decision.

    If he decides not to go into treatment, then he can have access to hospice care right away, and have a lot of help with any problems that develop as a result of the cancer.

    What a hard situation.  Pls keep us posted as you go forward.

    AA

     

  • ealeman
    ealeman Member Posts: 5
    #3
    annalexandria said:

    I'm so sorry you and your family have to go through this.

    My family was in a similar sitaution with my husband's 82 year old grandmother.  In her case it was heart disease, and she had open heart surgery, despite a lot of misgivings on her part.  It ended up reducing her quality of life dramatically, and although it's likely she did live longer, her QOL was pretty miserable.

    So I don't know how you make the call in cases like these, but that did leave me with the sense that at a certain point I will probably choose to let nature take its course, at least for myself.

    The other thoughts I have are, first, that the ill person really should be the one to make the call, and not be pressured to do something they don't want to do, and second, that I have met very few people who don't have some significant side effects with chemo (and those are mostly folks who are way younger than your dad). I think you have to assume that he will feel sick to some degree from treatment alone.

     

    If he wants to, he could try one round, see how it goes, but I do think he should make the final decision.

    If he decides not to go into treatment, then he can have access to hospice care right away, and have a lot of help with any problems that develop as a result of the cancer.

    What a hard situation.  Pls keep us posted as you go forward.

    AA

     

    thank you your message helps.

    thank you your message helps. I agree it is his call and that's what I tell him but he looks to me for informEd advice and I want to be as honest as I can. his cancer didn't spread according to the doctor he has cancer in both organs. I get different advice from his oncologist, his primary and the gastro. I talk to one and I feel one way then talk to the other and change my mind. 

    my dad has had two major surgeries in the past (thoracic anourysim) and he is tough and has survived against major odds. but he says he is ready to meet his maker he just wants to minimaize the suffering. my mom doesn't know yet, he doesn't want her to know because she will shut down, she sufferes from depression and anxiety so he is thinking of her also. 

    i do appreciate your advice and experience. I am not sure who to ask so this forum is helpful. 

     

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