What do you think ladies?

He planted the seed.  So now you will think about it.  Who appointed him "god"?   I would have left there and told the receptionist not to schedule you for any future visits.  You want to go to someone that really cares for the patinet instead of giving them news that will never give them peace of mind.   We don't know our cancer will come back.  If we did you know there would be a "bookie" out there placing the odds and making a small fortune.  

Take your hand...dust your shoulder and forget what that he said.  You deserve peace of mine and a happy life. 

wow..i think we all know a chance or re-occurance but to say that-esp. meeting you for the first time.

sending only good thoughts your way

Denise

morgamed said:

The more I think about it

the madder I get.  This is only a Dr. that is in it for the money.  NO COMPASSION at all. 

I wasn't there, don't know the context in which he offered this to you. What I do know is, for me, just talking about me, I'd find it hard to get his words out of my head. Fortunately, you seem like a very bright intelligent upbeat woman who is managing your own care admirably and you will probably find a way to process what he said in a way that works for you.

xoxo

Victoria

alabama_survivor said:

I was diagnosed with Stage 3C

I was diagnosed with Stage 3C Triple Negative on one side, and DCIS on the other, in June of last year.  I had chemo, followed by bilateral, followed by radiation, and finished a little over a month ago.  Everyone in my family has had some form of cancer, and all three of us children were undergoing treatment at the same time (my brother is terminal).  I am currently waiting on a CT scheduled at the end of this month (I had an infection that needed time to heal) to double check a couple of tiny nodules on my lung.  I honestly do believe that at some point I will either have a recurrence or some other form of cancer.  But still, if a doctor said that to me, I'm not sure how I would feel.  That does seem kind of cold.  Any time I ask about my prognosis, my MO is hesitant to answer because of my lung.  Still, no one knows, and to just blurt something like out............What was he thinking?

Perhaps because he comes from a totally different Culture... perhaps being direct and thinking he knows all is the way they think of Doctors in his country.........HOWEVER.......he is NOT God.......AND....he does NOT know what is in your future.       Mama always said to consider the source........   Many Many of us on this board are still here against all odds..........You hang in there Girl.........  Prayers for Strength & Courage...  xxoo   Glo

Gm2873 said:

What do you think

i think it's time to find a new oncologist. i'm Stage IV with bone Mets and my doctor was almost giddy the last time I saw hER. She is so happy about my response to treatment. She hasn't said it, but has implied that she thinks we'll beat it! Note the "we" in that statement. She is in this fight with me. My first cancer was 20 years ago, and she was my dr then. She is definitely planning on us growing old together. There are many dedicated caring oncologists out there. Please find another one. This guy doesn't sound like he's in it for the right reasons.

is all I can say...  His comment would throw me for a loop, that's for sure. 

I know that we are 'all' pro-active concerning our health since dealing with breast cancer -.  I would if possible, search out Oncologist affliated with larger hospital - or active with clinical trials - and book an appointment.  Getting a new pair of eyes looking at your history - may give you that piece of mind, more importantly - a Professional 2nd opinion.

Sorry ..

Vicki Sam

I'm wondering why he said that (I agree with all the comments that he sounds very uncaring to say the least). Is this what the oncologists are really thinking? If mine is, I would appreciate her telling me somehow and not acting like everything is ok. Esp since I had a very aggressive cancer. Still, the attitude of this guy is unbelievable. Some doctors think cancer is "for the patients" and that they are completely safe from harm themselves!

My doctor was honest, and I appreciated it. That doesn't mean that he was rude about it and he certainly didn't enjoy telling me. I had already had cancer 10 years prior. He said that I am Stage 4 and "you might want to get your affairs in order" and he said that I would die from this disease.

They are unable to find anything more today than they did then.

That was 2003.

As one friend said "The doctors don't have the last word. God does."

I cannot imagine being a doctor and having to tell anyone anything about such a diagnosis. Perhaps it was his first time. Who knows?

Because of my history with her along with years of birth control pills, that were double and tripple dosed for heavy bleeding. A stand in whom I saw 2x told me he over treated me,  it would never come back and I never needed a mast.  She did not know my medical history, and he was one of her associates.  8 years later, it was back, metastasized, and I am stage 4.

Mine followed the course for hrt induced bc which came out in 2011, pretty much the way he said.  Still threw me for a loop as I thought it would be a recurrence in left breast.  Never dreamed it would be thru my bones.  

I would have prob. asked your stand in his basis for that dx, as I asked mine back in 2002 why she thought that.  She only said bcuz it wasn't in my nodes!  I remember asking her if she saw my history, she said that was n o t pertinent!  Unfortunately, he was right but I was so upset that she was unprofessional in dissing her colleague.  My 2nd appt with her, she forgot me.  2 1/2 hrs later I was getting on the elevator and so was she and I reminded her not to charge me for my appointment, she looked dumbfounded so I explained my appointment was for 3p. It is now 530p. And I wanted a refund for my co-pay!  I got the refund and when I got my med. Records for a 2nd opinion 8yrs later, I saw she had written that I was angry when she went to examine me and that I needed to see someone for my anger issues.  I LAUGHED when I read it and showed my onco who knew about my encounter. She tried to cover her as#.

Sorry To a threatat he felt compelled when only 30% have a recurrence.  I do believe some doctors are missing the common sense chip!  Keep your head up and try and let it roll off!

Carol