I'm new and have questions

I'm sorry for what you're going through.  I wish i could help.  I am new here also.  there doesn't seem to be alot of traffic in the caregivers discussion board.  I have been trying to locate different discussion boards that are a little more active but have not been very fruitful in my search.  God Bless and keep your faith.  Sometimes that's all I have!

Doug

OrdieO said:

Suppport

Hi Girls,

I'm new here.  Just found it today.  My husband was diagnosed with stage 3b lung cancer September 10, 2014.  He has undergone 6 rounds of chemo and 24 radiation treatments.  Like so many here, it's taking it's toll on him and I.  He is responding favorably with a pretty remarkable reduction in tumor mass but having trouble springing back from each chemo treatment.  He needs a rest.  I'm in the nuclear medicine waiting room right now as he gets repeat scans.  We get results tomorrow.  Every time we do this, I have the overwhelming urge to run away.  We're both scared to death of the results.  When we started out on this journey, we didn't expect to even see Christmas together but now just had a wonderful Easter and are so thankful for that.

I figured out pretty early in this deal that nobody gets it.  Unless you've been through it, forget about it.  Even our grown children just aren't connecting the dots.  The ones who live nearby just keep piling on demands, asking us to keep their kids when they're sick, despite being told my husband can't be exposed to anyone who is sick because of low blood counts, that kind of thing.  I lost my mother in October, 5 weeks after my husband was diagnosed, and so can't really lean on my sisters and brother through this as they are going through their own grief process.  

So I started going to a therapist.  She also referred me to the hospice located in her building to ask about grief support groups.  I have the grief of the loss of my mother but also the more insidious anticipatory grief around my husband.  The clergy person at the hospice is meeting with me weekly to discuss these issues.

I don't know how anyone does this alone.  I feel I have a lifeline now.  We just moved to this state after 35 years away.  I have family here but no friends and not much of a chance to make any spending all my time sitting in waiting rooms.  I work part-time but mostly alone with nursing home patients so no opportunity there.  But just getting out and away from the gloom and doom of home, helps.  Pretty bad when a nursing home seems cheerier than home, right?  So it's good to be here with other people who understand.

Thanks for being here.

May 2010 my brother died a month after a massive stroke.  The next day my husband of 35 years was diagnosed with an inoperable stage 4 throat cancer.  4 chemos and 37 rads later he comes out the other side a survivor of the cancer but a victim of the treatment.  My mother has died in the interim: during her four month hospitalization and illness I worked full time, took my husband to dozens of appointments and stayed with my mom at night at the hospital.

Now there are multiple appts for Jim every month, I work 50 hours a week, and try to give us a somewhat normal life.  Jim now has dysautonomia which means we cannot control how high or low his blood pressure goes so he falls frequently.  There have been multiple hospitalizations, he has advanced COPD and congestive heart failure.

So, yes, I get it.

And Sp Tch asks why more people aren't on the Caregivers sites offering support?  Because we 're freaking exhausted.