worried

bob13440
bob13440 Member Posts: 66
edited April 2015 in Ovarian Cancer #1

my wife Lorraine had her head shaved yeasterday. She didn't enjoy doing it, but it was coming out so rapidly, she decided to get rid of it allat once. I guess it could be a coinicedice,but, right after that, she has felt worse than ever, physically. Chest pains, trouble breathing, can't get comfortable. She'shad 4 rounds of chemo, it has gone quite smoothly until yesterday, and right after the haircut she's felt miserable. Doesn't want to eat or drink either. Perhaps I'm way off base but, I just wonder if her mental state could effect her physical state. Man, I wish i could take this away from her and let me go through it instead.

Comments

  • NoTimeForCancer
    NoTimeForCancer Member Posts: 3,506 Member
    #2
    Bob, for some women shaving

    Bob, for some women shaving their head was taking control, for others it was very difficult.  It sounds like your wife fell in to the later group, I know I did, and that's alright too. 

    Hopefully you can share some of the stories from the women on these boards.  I know we have seen you over on the Uterine board, I think all the women over there miss you, but we jump around the 'below the belt' cancer threads and find will find you.  :)

    I would recommend checking to see if there is a dietician who specializes in helping cancer patients who may be able to help her understand the importance of eating.  It is hard, chemo kills the appetite for a lot of us, but it should be thought of a way to help fight and get stronger. 

    If her health issues are serious, call the doctor.  They are able to help her best if she is having medical problems.

     

  • Abbycat2
    Abbycat2 Member Posts: 644 Member
    #3
    NoTimeForCancer said:

    Bob, for some women shaving

    Bob, for some women shaving their head was taking control, for others it was very difficult.  It sounds like your wife fell in to the later group, I know I did, and that's alright too. 

    Hopefully you can share some of the stories from the women on these boards.  I know we have seen you over on the Uterine board, I think all the women over there miss you, but we jump around the 'below the belt' cancer threads and find will find you.  :)

    I would recommend checking to see if there is a dietician who specializes in helping cancer patients who may be able to help her understand the importance of eating.  It is hard, chemo kills the appetite for a lot of us, but it should be thought of a way to help fight and get stronger. 

    If her health issues are serious, call the doctor.  They are able to help her best if she is having medical problems.

     

    I agree with No Time, Bob

    This is a difficult road to travel for both you and Lorraine. I did not shave my head when my shoulder length hair started coming out in clumps but rather had it cut short in preparation for total hair loss. When I first started to lose my hair, I felt very depressed. That lasted 2 days at which time I came to grips with it by reminding myself that I had no control over it and that "this too shall pass." We feel our emotions physically as our minds and bodies are inter-connected. Think about how you felt emotionally the last time you had the flu. Probably pretty lousy. I know that you are very supportive of your wife. Does she share her feelings openly with you? Many people keep much to themselves as that is just who they are and how they are made.  Would she consider posting her concerns here on this ovarian board?  There is not only a wealth of information here, but these women are compassionate and caring like No Time who often writes supportive responses to others on the  'below the belt' female cancer boards.

  • yamster34
    yamster34 Member Posts: 75
    #4
    Bob, the fact that you are on

    Bob, the fact that you are on here seeking support shows how much you love your wife. It is possible that she is not feeling attractive since having her head shaved. It may help Lorraine to be told that she is still beautiful! Many times, women doubt their beauty when an aspect of their appearance changes drastically. I lost a substantial amount of weight in a short period of time, from changing my eating habits, having a lot of fluid drained, and not being strong enough to exercise. For this reason, it helps me when my husband tells me he still thinks I am beautiful and he loves me! One woman I recently spoke with showed support to her sister (during a battle with cancer) by having her head shaved too. It may help Lorraine to know that you are on here as a way to be a more supportive husband to her. Either way, I hope she knows what a blessing it is that she has such a supportive husband. I am thankful that my husband has also been so supportive!

  • bob13440
    bob13440 Member Posts: 66
    #5
    yamster34 said:

    Bob, the fact that you are on

    Bob, the fact that you are on here seeking support shows how much you love your wife. It is possible that she is not feeling attractive since having her head shaved. It may help Lorraine to be told that she is still beautiful! Many times, women doubt their beauty when an aspect of their appearance changes drastically. I lost a substantial amount of weight in a short period of time, from changing my eating habits, having a lot of fluid drained, and not being strong enough to exercise. For this reason, it helps me when my husband tells me he still thinks I am beautiful and he loves me! One woman I recently spoke with showed support to her sister (during a battle with cancer) by having her head shaved too. It may help Lorraine to know that you are on here as a way to be a more supportive husband to her. Either way, I hope she knows what a blessing it is that she has such a supportive husband. I am thankful that my husband has also been so supportive!

    yes

    Lorraine has friends she talks to. Her kids are in touch as much as possible, her father , co-workers and a really great girlfriend Sandy that comes over a couple times a week. I have asked her to post on here, but she just likes to hear what everyone is saying and it's very helpful to her.

    Yamster, you nailed it, Lorraine doesn't feel as attractive as she did, I tell her all the time she is still very beautiful, because she is. To me, she gets more beautiful every day, and her friend Sandy said the same thing. But, at the end of the day, she needs to believe it. I have heard people say "everything is temporary" and I try to put that thought into her (and mine) head. With the weather finally breaking, I jope we can get out and go for walks this week.

    Round 5 is scheduled for tomorrow. Her blood cell count was down last week, they almost didn't give her the chemo. I sure hope they can do it tomorrow, she feels so much better right after and the next day, I guess it's the steroids they give her that give her so much energy. Thanks for listening everyone. Hope you're all doing well with your battles.

    Bob

  • yamster34
    yamster34 Member Posts: 75
    #6
    It is the inner strength and

    It is the inner strength and attitude a cancer patient shows during their battle, that makes them beautiful or handsome, not something about their outward appearance! 

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