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katenorwood
katenorwood Member Posts: 1,912
in Head and Neck Cancer #1

Hello everyone,

My brother goes in for his 9 month check up (PET/CT) on Monday.  SCC HPV +  As for everyone else the scanxiety is massive for himself and his wife.  I try my best to calm the fears...but as we all have experienced these are only words, until they themselves hear the words "all clear - NED". 

I have put my medical appointments on hold for a bit.  My husband went into ESRD the middle of Feb.  With dialysis and more specialty appointments being added every day it's been insane here.  I have been walking around in a daze most day's.  I was always hoping when this day arrived I could offer one of my kidneys to him.  (he has been in renal failure for many, many years due his brittle diabetes)  But not going to ever happen...due to my crap dx of ADCC and crap lungs.  We have started the process for transplant....our primary isn't holding out much hope that he'll be accepted for the list.  His poor little body is so beat up. 

My reality for the moment is to continue to access any and all resources for him.  I know there are other's that are caregiving while being chronically ill themselves.  It seems to me that it must be some kind of a cosmic joke ?  Testing our mental and physical limitations to the max.  I refuse to lay down the gaunlet....I refuse to give into the despair.....I will continue on and make every single day count !  Survivorship and warrior that is what my husband has lived his entire life.  He is and has been my inspiration throughout my travels with cancer.  I could never do less for him.   Much love and hugs sent out to all !  Katie       

Comments

  • Grandmax4
    Grandmax4 Member Posts: 723
    #2
    prayers

    for your family and you Katie~~

  • CivilMatt
    CivilMatt Member Posts: 4,724 Member
    #3
    T&P

    Katie,

    I am glad your brother is recovering nicely; the scanxiety just comes as part of the package.

    You have been dealing with a full plate as long as I have known you, just do the best you can.

    Best for you always,

    Matt

  • wmc
    wmc Member Posts: 1,804
    #4
    Just WOW... You're plate is full and more.

    Good to hear about your brother. Truly sorry about your husband, I do understand. [My wife is one number from stage 4 and fighting this for twenty years. She won't do dialysis so i'm hoping her numbers stay at 29 and above. Has been down to 22 even]

    You are stronger than most anyone I know of, so just do what you can and it will be the best. You and your husband will always be in my prayers. 

    Bill

  • donfoo
    donfoo Member Posts: 1,773 Member
    #5
    I refuse to lay down the

    I refuse to lay down the gaunlet....I refuse to give into the despair.....I will continue on and make every single day count ! 

    You inspire us all with your grit and never ending will to face the challenges and move forward every day. Even though all the nastiness of my treatment and recovery is behind me I say to myself the same thing every day - Make it count! And it is a wonderful day to here to enjoy all that life has to offer. There is always always something to bring joy and a smile and appreciate the positive of the day. Best wishes to you on the battlefront. Don

  • phrannie51
    phrannie51 Member Posts: 4,716
    #6
    Our Incredible Katie!!

    ...and that's what you are and always have been since the day we met!  Incredible, non-stoppable Kate.  I'm sorry to hear that Rolie is having so much trouble....

    I feel for your brother....this is one place I have absolute empathy....we all know what scans do to me Embarassed....but he will hear those longed for word....NED, and get the rush of a lifetime. 

    p

    PS....did you guys get moved out of your house?

  • hwt
    hwt Member Posts: 2,328 Member
    #7
    phrannie51 said:

    Our Incredible Katie!!

    ...and that's what you are and always have been since the day we met!  Incredible, non-stoppable Kate.  I'm sorry to hear that Rolie is having so much trouble....

    I feel for your brother....this is one place I have absolute empathy....we all know what scans do to me Embarassed....but he will hear those longed for word....NED, and get the rush of a lifetime. 

    p

    PS....did you guys get moved out of your house?

    Katie

    Prayers for your brother's scan and that your husband makes the donor list. Take care of yourself so that you can take care of family. My husband moved from rehab to skilled nursing last Tuesday following a stroke the end of October. If not for my own health, he could be home with some outside assistance. I continue to strive for that. Your positive attitude is inspiring. God bless you and yours.

    Candi 

  • Skiffin16
    Skiffin16 Member Posts: 8,305 Member
    #8
    T&P

    Thoughts and prayers sister...

  • debbiejeanne
    debbiejeanne Member Posts: 3,102 Member
    #9
    katie, it breaks my heart to

    katie, it breaks my heart to know you and rolie are going through so much.  you are totally amazing!  you continue moving forward no matter what life throws at you.  You are stronger than most structures in the USA, lady!!!  i am keeping you, rolie and your family in my prayers, Kate.  God bless you all.

    dj

  • Hondo
    Hondo Member Posts: 6,636 Member
    #10
    Hi Katie

     

    One day we will look back to all of this and see the reason why, but for now all we can do day by day is to live by faith. Sometimes I believe that is why God had a book called Job, because we can’t always see the why, but to help us know He is watching over us no matter how bad Satan tries to make it for us.

     

    Keeping you in all my prayers

    Tim

  • Duggie88
    Duggie88 Member Posts: 760 Member
    #11
    Katie

    Hard for me to be my joking self when I see how reality has slapped you. Your dedication is second to none. My heart goes out to you and your family.

    Thoughts and Prayers your way.

          Jeff

  • katenorwood
    katenorwood Member Posts: 1,912
    #12
    Good news for brother

    My big brother received NED.  I asked him if he did the moon walk on the way out the door.  One prayer answered, and I'm more than grateful for this wonderful news !  Thank you all for your words of encouragement....I do take them all to heart.  Katie

  • katenorwood
    katenorwood Member Posts: 1,912
    #13
    hwt said:

    Katie

    Prayers for your brother's scan and that your husband makes the donor list. Take care of yourself so that you can take care of family. My husband moved from rehab to skilled nursing last Tuesday following a stroke the end of October. If not for my own health, he could be home with some outside assistance. I continue to strive for that. Your positive attitude is inspiring. God bless you and yours.

    Candi 

    I think of you

    Candi,

    I have thought of you often, and am inspired by you to continue on no matter the cards dealt.  I'm here, please remember this.  Kind of lost a bit, but still standing.  Hugs sent,  Katie

  • wmc
    wmc Member Posts: 1,804
    #14
    katenorwood said:

    Good news for brother

    My big brother received NED.  I asked him if he did the moon walk on the way out the door.  One prayer answered, and I'm more than grateful for this wonderful news !  Thank you all for your words of encouragement....I do take them all to heart.  Katie

    Prayers do get answered........

    Glad to hear NED.

  • jim and i
    jim and i Member Posts: 1,788 Member
    #15
    Oh Katie I am so sorry. Yes

    Oh Katie I am so sorry. Yes it does seem like a cosmic joke sometimes. I am praying for you both to recieve a miracle. I can't imagine what you are going through but I know you are a fighter and won't give up.  Debbie

  • MrsBD
    MrsBD Member Posts: 617 Member
    #16
    Update

    Great news about your brother! I am praying your health issues improve soon. It's hard taking care of someone when you aren't feeling that well yourself.

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