Newly Diganosed

I was diagnosed a few weeks ago.  I found a lump in the axillary Tail of Spence tissue.  A number of people said "most lumps are nothing, maybe you should wait and see if it goes away".  Obviously, glad I did not take that advice.  Biopsy came back cancer.  I don't know anything more yet because due to the location a larger biopsy could not be taken.  Surgery scheduled for next week to remove it and the node closest and to 'test, test, test'....  Size wise it is under 1 cm or was when the mri was done a couple weeks ago.  It hurts a lot and I am looking forward to it coming out.  Some of the people who I have told are saying things I just have to nod to and walk away.  "It's no big deal, everyone I know has cancer"  "All my friends have BC, they are all fine now."  "You are strong, you'll be fine."  "I'll come visit, it will be fun." "My co-worker just got her port removed, she is fine, no issues."  "Everyone has BC these days." "Your tumor is small, you get it out and you'll be fine."  "You can't use cancer as an excuse for not wanting to......"  The hell I can't, I say! 

You never understand until it happens to you and now I honestly feel badly about some rediculous news item I had sent a very good friend re: BC a few years ago.  She did not survive and I miss her everyday! I have a number of friends who also have cancer, albeit different types, and I am finding compassion and understanding from them.  I find this so valuable and appreciate every contact I have with them.  

 

Comments

  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    Welcome to the CSN community

    I am sorry that you have been diagnosed with cancer. This a good place and I am welcoming you to our CSN family.

  • rutzetta
    rutzetta Member Posts: 174
    Welcome

    This is the "best" place to share your lows and highs, with our group. We are here with you and for you. 

    Constance

  • mschaben
    mschaben Member Posts: 87
    Hello

    Hi, welcome. Your are so right about people and their responses.  There are is many kinds of breast cancer and treatments and every case is different. I have an aggressive breast cancer so getting aggressive treatment.  One lady today said well at least it's curable. Well that's what we hope. And regardless of the stage and grade and type it is CANCER and very scary and definitely easy for people to say things like that cuz they have no Idea. Even people response to me losing my hair. I know it's just hair and will grow back but it is still part of me being destroyed. Having cancer is hard enough and then to feel like your mutilated from head to toe.  That's how I feel sometimes.  So your are right in how u feel .  

    Take care 

  • Puffin2014
    Puffin2014 Member Posts: 531 Member
    welcome to the site

    Welcome to the group no one wants to join. I've also gotten a lot of great support from the people in the chat room on this site. There's usually not much activity on chat during the day, but is active between 9 and midnight central time.

    Be careful about jumping all over the internet, a lot of incorrect and scary stuff out there. Another website that my onc recommended was breastcancer.org and I have found it extremely helpful. Besides having excellent educational articles, their discussion forums are subdivided, so you can follow forums specifically for those who have had mastectomies, chemo, radiation, etc. I started with the lumpectomy forum, then moved to the chemo forum, then the radiation forum, and now am active on the Arimidex forum. Be sure and mark any forum you like as a favorite so it's easy to find again and easy to see when new responses have been added.

    Another suggestion I'd have is to ask your Dr if it's OK that you record your appointments with your smart phone/iPod. They cover so much info it's hard to take it all in, and even having a second person with you isn't always the answer. Lew wasn't very good at taking notes. It was several months between my first visit with the radiologist and when I finally started radiation, and it was so helpful to go back and relisten to that first session.

  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    hi...I am not a wait in see

    hi...I am not a wait in see type of person...I am get it over with...I am glad you went with your gutt and went to the dr

     

    Welcome...you've found a great place to vent and for advice..

     

    Denise

  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member

    welcome to the site

    Welcome to the group no one wants to join. I've also gotten a lot of great support from the people in the chat room on this site. There's usually not much activity on chat during the day, but is active between 9 and midnight central time.

    Be careful about jumping all over the internet, a lot of incorrect and scary stuff out there. Another website that my onc recommended was breastcancer.org and I have found it extremely helpful. Besides having excellent educational articles, their discussion forums are subdivided, so you can follow forums specifically for those who have had mastectomies, chemo, radiation, etc. I started with the lumpectomy forum, then moved to the chemo forum, then the radiation forum, and now am active on the Arimidex forum. Be sure and mark any forum you like as a favorite so it's easy to find again and easy to see when new responses have been added.

    Another suggestion I'd have is to ask your Dr if it's OK that you record your appointments with your smart phone/iPod. They cover so much info it's hard to take it all in, and even having a second person with you isn't always the answer. Lew wasn't very good at taking notes. It was several months between my first visit with the radiologist and when I finally started radiation, and it was so helpful to go back and relisten to that first session.

    Puffin...I totally

    Puffin...I totally agree...reading too much..online

     

    Denise

  • Lilly9
    Lilly9 Member Posts: 155

    hi...I am not a wait in see

    hi...I am not a wait in see type of person...I am get it over with...I am glad you went with your gutt and went to the dr

     

    Welcome...you've found a great place to vent and for advice..

     

    Denise

    Welcome to the group that no

    Welcome to the group that no one wants to be a part of.   Please keep us posted.

    I find that many times people say the wrong thing due to their own fear of cancer.  Others just have no idea what to say.  

    If you can take someone with you to each appt along with a notebook and pen - it's a great idea.   You get so much info at once that it's hard to keep it straight.  Write down any questions you think of in between appts and take them with you.   Ask each and everyone and make sure you get an answer you fully understand

  • RozHopkins
    RozHopkins Member Posts: 578 Member
    When I had a miscarriage many

    When I had a miscarriage many years ago I could of killed a well meaning father of a friend who said, you're young and have plenty of time to fall pregnant again.  It was still raw and I thought what a stupid thing to say when my hormones were going crazy.  Though true in one respect what I really needed was a hug or a few words of comfort.  So people who say don't worry it will be alright or you will be fine, whether been through it themselves or not, is simply the wrong thing to say.  Until your results are through you will worry no matter what.  Your friends should of asked if you needed any info and what to expect in the early diagnosis and accompanying you for appointments, etc, etc.  

    So lets see what your test results are and please tell us here and we can answer any questions you may have.  Before, during and after any treatment you may need.  

    Some of the ladies here are extremely knowledgeable on many aspects.  I am one of those who didn't really take in all the details, my oncologist isn't the greatest.  But just did what I had to and made my own personal decisions about after treatment, way down the line.

    Good luck.  Take care.  Please get back to us after your surgery when you feel up to it.

  • BCancer2015
    BCancer2015 Member Posts: 7

    When I had a miscarriage many

    When I had a miscarriage many years ago I could of killed a well meaning father of a friend who said, you're young and have plenty of time to fall pregnant again.  It was still raw and I thought what a stupid thing to say when my hormones were going crazy.  Though true in one respect what I really needed was a hug or a few words of comfort.  So people who say don't worry it will be alright or you will be fine, whether been through it themselves or not, is simply the wrong thing to say.  Until your results are through you will worry no matter what.  Your friends should of asked if you needed any info and what to expect in the early diagnosis and accompanying you for appointments, etc, etc.  

    So lets see what your test results are and please tell us here and we can answer any questions you may have.  Before, during and after any treatment you may need.  

    Some of the ladies here are extremely knowledgeable on many aspects.  I am one of those who didn't really take in all the details, my oncologist isn't the greatest.  But just did what I had to and made my own personal decisions about after treatment, way down the line.

    Good luck.  Take care.  Please get back to us after your surgery when you feel up to it.

    Surgery is Friday. Seems like

    Surgery is Friday. Seems like it have been forever since DX. Very nervous! I know its normal to feel anxious.... My parents and sister want me to contact everyone and anyone they know who has has BC.  I am not comfortable calling people to discuss my illness, people I don't speak to typically. I guess I am more comfortable exchanging info on a web program.... Would you all mind if someone you barely knew called to discuss your "hardest fight"? Just wondering.... 

  • Puffin2014
    Puffin2014 Member Posts: 531 Member

    Surgery is Friday. Seems like

    Surgery is Friday. Seems like it have been forever since DX. Very nervous! I know its normal to feel anxious.... My parents and sister want me to contact everyone and anyone they know who has has BC.  I am not comfortable calling people to discuss my illness, people I don't speak to typically. I guess I am more comfortable exchanging info on a web program.... Would you all mind if someone you barely knew called to discuss your "hardest fight"? Just wondering.... 

    it's your battle

    It's YOUR battle, you do what's comfortable for you and what gives YOU strength.

  • GlowMore
    GlowMore Member Posts: 789 Member

    it's your battle

    It's YOUR battle, you do what's comfortable for you and what gives YOU strength.

    Hi BC2015 This is BC2002 (that's when I found my Lump) :)

    Hi Girl....so today it looks like you were having your Lumpectomy?  At least I think that is what I gleaned from the posts above.   Lots of the gals have given you some good advice I think and Puffin is so right...this is YOUR Battle and you do what you feel comfortable doing.  Please let us know how it went for you today.   Since you are new here maybe you don't know but if you click the different peoples' names/boxes it will take you to their home pages and you can learn a bit about each of us there.  I didn't join CSN for 8 years...so you are doing what I should have done to start with...because those of us here know exactly what you are experiencing.  Love and Prayers for Strength and Courage.  Glo

  • bal1956
    bal1956 Member Posts: 1

    Surgery is Friday. Seems like

    Surgery is Friday. Seems like it have been forever since DX. Very nervous! I know its normal to feel anxious.... My parents and sister want me to contact everyone and anyone they know who has has BC.  I am not comfortable calling people to discuss my illness, people I don't speak to typically. I guess I am more comfortable exchanging info on a web program.... Would you all mind if someone you barely knew called to discuss your "hardest fight"? Just wondering.... 

    surgery

    I hope all went well with your surgery !  Contact all that you want to contact, and feel comfortable telling. Calling and discussing your "hardest fight" with someone who understands and has been their will understand ALOT MORE. Family and friends are there for you and also myself.    I understand

  • BCancer2015
    BCancer2015 Member Posts: 7
    bal1956 said:

    surgery

    I hope all went well with your surgery !  Contact all that you want to contact, and feel comfortable telling. Calling and discussing your "hardest fight" with someone who understands and has been their will understand ALOT MORE. Family and friends are there for you and also myself.    I understand

    Surgery

    Surgery went fine. Long day... I was horribly nauseated and exhausted but feel a lot better today. Sore of course.  I don't know any details about the removal since I didn't awake until after the surgeon left. My husband was just relieved it was over and didn't get any details for me. I will follow up with surgeon next week. Lots of great care at the hospital and beautiful flowers from work and friends.