First time here...feeling scared

Xstars001 Member Posts: 1

Hi....Well my mom just got diagnosed with breast cancer. To say the least I'm scared and worried sick. I hear all the survival stories and I'm so thankful for how far treatment has come. People beat this all the time. What is really scaring me is that she has triple negative breast cancer. I've done research. Probably too much. And this is a worse type to have. There aren't many positive stories. It all talks about it probably coming back in less than 5 years. Does anyone know more about this? I can't even say it but I'm terrified of losing her. I can't. I just can't. We meet with the oncologist tomorrow. I'm trying to be strong. To take good notes as my whole body shakes. Trying to put on that strong face. I don't know what to expect with our appointment tomorrow other than I know she has to start chemo soon. Which just breaks my heart for her. She is scared. I want to believe what people are telling me. Almost everyone I know has someone in their family that has gone through this and beat it. I want to believe this will only be rough for a little bit and then it's in the past. Then that fear takes over. I feel like I'm just rambling But I need help. I'm so scared of losing her. I feel like I'm going to fall apart sometimes and we haven't even started treatment. 

My mom suffers from depression as do a lot of other family members, myself included. I have all these thoughts racing though my head of how I can make her more comfortable. Fixing healthy dinners. Keeping it very clean. Keeping her spirits up. Then I'm just spinning and I don't know what to do  I guess it would just be nice to talk to someone and let my crazy emotions out. 


  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member

    I'm sorry you are having to go through this. You are probably right about doing too much research. Besides the research is probably old. New things are coming out all the time. I would really recommend you go to the breast cancer board on here. They are really generous with good advice, and that board gets more traffic than this one. Good luck to you and your family. Hang in there. Fay

  • Ladylacy
    Ladylacy Member Posts: 773 Member
    Feeling scared

    My younger sister was diagnosed 12 years ago with triple negative breast cancer.  It came on her fast.  She had just had her annual mammogram 3 months before when she found a large bump in her breast.  She went straight to the doctor and he told her upfront it was cancer before even a biopsy.  Well she had her biopsy and it was cancer.  She underwent chemo first, then a lumpectomy(?) followed by radiation.  Today she is cancer free and has her check ups and mammograms and ultra-sound annually.   She worries like all cancer survivors that the cancer will come back but it is beatable and she and many others are living proof.  She was also the first in our family to have breast cancer.  My older sister and I were told since this occurred post-menapausal(?) we didn't have to worry but to have our checks up and mammograms.  Now her daughters were told the opposite.  So this is something you and your sisters will have to keep a check on yourselves.

    You just need to remember that everyone is different in how they react to treatment and that any decisions made should be your mother's and hers alone.  Yes it is hard I won't deny that.  My husband is on in-home hospice for cancer that he has been fighting for 4 years.  After all the radiation, chemo and surgery, he decided he would stop treatment when his second primary returned and spread.  This was his decision and we (ours sons and I) did not talk him out of his decision.  It was his and his alone to make.

    Wishing you and your family peace and comfort