Lost the battle after 3 1/2 years

Laura, I am so sorry to read about John's passing, and I offer my sincere condolences to you and your family.  All of us on the Forum think often about the impact and outcome of our possible passing from PCa on our family and loved ones.

I cannot feel the total depth of your sense of loss, as I still have my lifetime partner with me, and she is so supportive of me, just like you were for John.  I did observe my mother after my father's passing (botched open heart surgery) and my mother-in-law after my father-in-law's passing (lung cancer), but I was only able to 'observe' their grief and profound sense of loss.

The one piece of solace that I can offer to you is to strongly suggest that you continue to move forward with your life as soon as, and as best as, you can.  The rest of your family and loved ones still need you, and I'm sure that John would have wanted that for you, as well.  While nothing will ever replace John in your life, you can still find purpose and value in life by pushing yourself forward and devoting your time and energy to friends and family, and to any other activites that you previously had a passion for.  My mother, in particular, has done this, and while she thinks about my father each and every day, she still feels that she is providing value to other people, and hence believes that her life without my father still has good purpose.

Thank you for taking the time to let us know about the final result of your husband's battle w/PCa. 

He obviously had a very aggressive form of PCa that took him much too early in life.  It just goes to prove that, although Pca is usually slow growing, that's NOT always the case and that men must always be vigilant in addressing this disease. 

My deepest condolences to you and your family for your loss.