PTSD in Cancer Survivors (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)

trm2008 said:

new here

I had a nephrectomy on Oct 9th, 2014.  I am still coming to grips with every thing that has happpened over the last few months.  Four weeks after the kidney surgery, I developed a strangulated hernia and had to have over five feet of necrotic small bowel removed.  One of the CT scans they did before I had the bowel resection showed a lesion (about a half inch) on my spleen.   (It wasn't there 4 months ago.)  I think that's the moment that I started coming to terms with the fact that I have (or had I hope) cancer.  Maybe the lesion isn't related to the clear cell carcinonma, but it's freaking me out wondering. 

At this point, the hernia was much more traumatic than the cancer.  (Probably because I haven't fully accepted the cancer thing yet.)  I nearly died with the bowel stangulation but I don't think any of this has been as hard on me mentally as it has been for my husband.  He was sure he was going to lose me when I had the bowel problem.  He watched me suffer for four hours in the emergency room with the most incredible pain I have ever had.  Sweat was pouring off my body and I was (loudly) moaning with pain.  I was begging them to knock me out.  When they finally gave me morphine--it did absolutely nothing to relieve my distress.  My husband could only watch helplessly--I couldn't even bear for him to touch me.  I was in critical condition when they finished the surgery and still on a ventilator mouthing the words, "I can't breathe" before they sedated me again.  It was absolutely horrible for my husband.

When you mentioned PTSD, I thought of him.  He has nightmares about losing me.  We sleep in separate rooms because I am an insomniac.  There are nights I wake up, and he is in a chair just watching me sleep because he had a nightmare that he was losing me.  I've learned not to mention my aches and pains because he gets so worried.  I honestly believe this whole thing has been more tramatic for him that me.  I'm afraid to mention the lesion on my spleen so I have no one to talk to about it.  I don't want to worry anyone until I know for sure if it's something to worry about.

I'm surrounded by people that love me, but I truly feel so alone.

Hello trm and welcome to the site.  You will realize as time goes by and you frequent the site that you did a great thing for yourself and family by finding this site as there are a ton of very knowledgeable and experienced members of the group who would be more than pleased to help you with any questions you might have.  Feel free to come hear to vent or chat or just ask questions, we all are happy to have found this site for sure.

As I said in the subject line cancer truly does affect the whole family but everyone deals with the trauma of cancer differently.  Don't underestimate the impact it has had on you either and I know by the sound of it you think of others before yourself but just don't forget about you too.

As for your husband it sounds like he is having difficulties with processing it all but to what extent I don't know but my husband hid his anxieties from me, didn't want to worry me on top of all I was going through medically, but after I started to rally he had a full blown clinical depression and that wasn't pretty.  Again, everyone handles it differently but you might want to discuss the trauma cancer puts a whole family through and then maybe find a good qualified therapist (psychologists I like the best) and one who deals with cancer survivors is the best.  Maybe go as a family so that the therapist can see where the work needs to be and it might help to have the first few meetings as a family so your husband doesn't feel so alone in therapy.  Let the professionals decide.

I do wish you all the best in 2015.

Blessings,

Bluerose

trm2008 said:

sounds familiar

My husband seemed to handle the cancer diagnosis well, and he seemed to handle the kidney surgery well.  He even seemed fine until about ten days after the bowel resection, then he went all to pieces.  Like you said, he was trying to be strong for me (and the rest of the family), and the burden just became too much.  Full blown depression--luckily it seems to have responded well to the anti-depressant. 

I'm putting off finding out about the spot on my spleen even though I know I need to.  It sounds like it's very rare for kidney cancer to met there.  It's also very rare to have the complication I had, and really rare to break your sacrum the way a broke mine last march; So "very rare" is little comfort.

 

Thanks for responding.  It's nice to know someone else understands and I'm not alone.

Happy New Year,

Terri

Oh yes your husband's situation is indeed very familiar to many on the site.

One thing is bothering me though about your response to my entry here.  You said 'I'm putting off finding out about the spot on my spleen' and as I tried to say in my first post to you, you  have to not only put your energies into your other family members but you need to take care of yourself first.  You aren't doing that by putting off looking into the spot.  You have to do that, now.  No you can't wait.  

I have had many things come up that shouldn't have happened but yet they did and in fact my doctor now looks at small percentages of trouble when it comes to side effects and symptoms with caution.  She still gets me to do blood tests for those little things that shouldn't occur because I have had so many defy the odds and I come up with problems.  You need to check out that spot immediately.  I can't say that strongly enough.  Sounds like it's probably nothing but prove it, get tested.

Please keep us informed of how things are going, especially the appt you are going to make to have that spot looked at, right?  Right.  You have to take care of yourself first because the family needs you healthy and strong.

Make the call today.

All the best

Bluerose

trm2008 said:

It's probably related to the

It's probably related to the necrotic bowel--it was tangled up in the renal fossa which is right next to the spleen.  I'm going to make an appointment soon.  I had to cancel the last one because of the abdominal surgery.  No more excuses, I'm pretty much recovered from that now.

I hope this year is better than last.  Thanks for your support.

Terri

I am so glad that you said 'no more excuses' and hope that means you will indeed make an appointment to get checked out.  Why worry needlessly, right?  Right.

All the best in the New Year, you sound like you are on the right track now.  No need to thank me, it's what this site is about. 

Blessings always,

Bluerose

nfu said:

PTSD Diagnosis

I agree that it would be worthwhile to get a psych assessment. Find someone that is trained for and works with PTSD patients.

Anyone that gets through a trauma, whether as a witness or an actor, can get PTSD. And it's nothing to be ashamed of.

Good point Nfu about making sure that the doctor is well trained in dealing with PTSD and hopefully even cancer survivors at the same time as we have specific areas we deal with in this regard.

No harm is checking PTSD out when dealing with traumas if you think it's a possibility.  Better playing it safe intead of getting deeper into a depressive, anxiety ridden state .  PTSD can be handled with the right interventions and especially earlier rather than later.

God Bless