cyberknife a no go

LOUSWIFT said:

Promise broken

Well had my last meeting with a doctor today. I was sent to an Oncologist today. Apparently the gaggle of Oncologist; radiologists; and just plain doctors met about me yesterday. It was decided it is time for me to die. No it wasn't OBamacares 15 person conference who is decides who has value enough to live or die this was a hospital group. Anyway the oncolgists informed me they could try chemo some more which could delay my death but likely make the quality of my life very bad with what remains. The Cyberknife radiogist types decided that the size about 3 1/2 cm located so close to my small intestine and bladder would result in serious damage to those organs. Apparently, this cyberknife isn't as accurate as it is advertized and radiation will miss the mark. They feel this would make my chronic diarreha so bad that I might need to be hospitalized for dehydration and the inability to stop at all. After the meeting I don't really know why my surgerical Oncologist insisted I go see him. I have told everyone I would never do chemo again. Anyway they now want me to go see a palliative doctor. I guess his job is to address my symptoms increasing pain levels; liver failure; toxicity; diarrehea and vomiting. They  wanted me to go see him as soon as possible, I asked why the rush. Didin't I have a year to a year and a hald left. Apparently, that depends on which direction my tumor decides to grow....into bowel; into the bladder; into pancreas; who knows and maybe cancer will travel to my lungs or brain. Of course my wife went to pieces because she thought I had many months left and it could actually be about three months with at least several weeks of me being so sick and toxic that I don't know what's going on and can't control bodily functions. Then both my surgerical oncologist and this new oncologist both wanted me to come back in a couple of months just to see how I'm doing. I must admit I got a little angry. I asked them why? I'm going to die there is nothing you can do about it unless they need some additional BMW payments. My sureon refused to take out my tumor becuase he felt I could bleed to death on the operating table. This wasn't his choice. He should have spoken to my wife who would have told him to proceed as she and I discussed. She had my health care power and I would have preferred dying on the operating table then to let cancer kill me a day at a time. There was no reason for me to see an oncolgist since evryone knew I would not do chemo ever again. So why come back and see them in a few months.? Okay the palliative doctor sure. He will keep increasing my medications for pain until I'm so spaced out I don't know what's going on and whatever symptoms I may develop. My final advise to ong timers and newbies here. Never ever never trust your doctors do what's right for you. In the eleven years I'm been fighting cancer and being destroyed by all the great doctors treatments recommendations I found I would have been so much better maybe not facing death without the help of incompetent non-caring arrogant know it all professionals. Remember your value is your a billing number and your replacement (another cancer victim) is waiting around the corner. I recall the great treatments which cause my hands and feet to swell so badly I could not waer shoes; lost the nails of my hands and feet; had to wear gloves to type on a key-board (my job) ; learn to sleep on a toilet while you coninued to defecate while sleepng only interupted to vomiting into a basket; unable to eat or drink anything cold; damage to my liver and pancreas... and worst of all to lose your manhood as you must depend more and more on your family to care for you and do things that it was you used to do. So good luck to all. When a cop dies they have what's known as end of call. Dispatch calls your car number over all police radio frequences and after several minutes it is annouced there is no answer from officer. It is then announced this is his/her end of duty. Signifying the officers death. I spent 37 years in Law Enforcement and it will be an honor to have last call. Best of health to you all. Lou Swift doesn't answer he has reached end of tour.

Lou, I was wondering how you have been.  I'm sorry you got the news you did.  It sounds similar to my husband's lymph node tumors, jotting coud stop them.  On 9/22 we got 'the news' and were told he had weeks to months left.  He passed away on 11/2, about 6 weeks, just about as you describe.  He took the news very stoically so I had to follow his lead.  He spent his last 11 days inpatient hospice where he had no more pain and passed peacefully.  In August of this year they told him he had around 2 years to live so I was quite shocked as your wife is too.  It sucks, I admire you sticking to your guns for no more chemo.  I don't know if I would ever do chemo either if I ever get diagnosed.  About a million dollars spent on his care in just 23 months.  What a waste of precious time.  He also had some terrible care and misread scans, unnecessary suffering, etc. Just like you.  I keep focusing on every bad moment during this godforsaken disease and it just makes me so sad for all of us.  Stay strong

Linda

You have so pinpointed the advocacy that we all must get to when confronting the doctors.  Yours seem to be less agressive when they should have been.  My heart breaks for you, your grandchildren and your wife - although she doesn't always seem so supportive - she might not because she is scared of losing you.  My prayers go to you for your journey forward and still continue to post as your are always in thought on this board.  You have been a member so long and want to thank you for your journey with us and maybe many more years of posting.

Kim