for those who don't know how...

LaCh
LaCh Member Posts: 557
in Anal Cancer #1

For those just diagnosed who don't know how they'll "get through" it, I offer these words. I'm not very warm and fuzzy, but more of a "lets get down to business" type. More pragmatic. I think in terms of problem solving. Nevertheless if one can get past the delivery, I can offer the following words, meant as encouragment. You WILL get through it. The only way you won't get through it is if you don't begin it. Refusing treatment is always an option, but if you decide to be treated, you will get through it. If there are complications, pain, infections, whatever, you'll get through that too. If you have friends and/or family to help you, that can make the treatments easier.  I had complications and they weren't easy, and I was alone, but I got through it.  For those who won't need an ostomy--the majority, I think--the treatments are intense and difficult but they're of short duration. I offer these words as someone a few years beyond the thing. I don't think about it much, just like I don't think about any other illness that I had in the past (except for pertussis, which really did me in.)  You're stronger than you think, and as long as the arrow of time continues in the same direction that it always has,--and there's no reason to think that it won't--it'll carry you through, and to the end of the treatments.  Put one foot in front of the other and you will get through it. One can always exceed his perceived limitations, the operative word here being "perceived."  You can. You will.  Good luck to all.

Comments

  • Helen321
    Helen321 Member Posts: 1,460 Member
    #2
    Nice words=)

    Nice words=)

  • sephie
    sephie Member Posts: 650 Member
    #3
    yes yes yes

    great words and sooooo true!!!!!   sephie

     

  • eihtak
    eihtak Member Posts: 1,473 Member
    #4
    La Ch.....

    I love this......thanks for posting!

    katheryn

  • jcorum
    jcorum Member Posts: 54 Member
    #5
    very well put!!!!!!

    very well put!!!!!!

  • LaCh
    LaCh Member Posts: 557
    #6
    jcorum said:

    very well put!!!!!!

    very well put!!!!!!

    Jcorum, stephie, eihtak, Helen

    Thanks very much. I'm always hesitant to express my views, as they're never quite as nurturing, effusive or warm and fuzzy as I think most are, and in truth, I think that most people respond most positively to that kind of support. It's just not "me," which is not to say that I'm not nurturing or supportive. Just that it's expressed differently. The reason I decided to risk it this time was because as blunt as my words were, I also think that they're true, and ultimately, I thought that they might be helpful. "Helpful" was my motivation.

    When I was going through my treatments with no help, I didn't think "how am I going to do this?" as in "I can't do this." I thought of it as, "ok, how am I going to do this? What do I need to do before I get very sick? What things must I have in place? What steps do I need to take right now?" The question of whether or not I'd get through it never crossed my mind, including when I developed a fissure that was so exquisitely painful that I wasn't sure I WANTED to get through it. But I also recognized that line of thinking as a psychological mechanism to impart some sensation of control. People get through all sorts of horrific things in life, and I don't include this treatment in that category. Difficult? Yes. Horrific? No.

    In general, my philosophy is, and always has been, "just put one foot in front of the other." That's all I have to do. The rest will follow.

    in any case, although I'm not much of a hand holder and definitely not a hand-wringer, I do try to be supportive and helpful in my own way, and I thank those of you who have recognized it.

    Best to all.

  • TraceyUSA
    TraceyUSA Member Posts: 316
    #7
    LaCh said:

    Jcorum, stephie, eihtak, Helen

    Thanks very much. I'm always hesitant to express my views, as they're never quite as nurturing, effusive or warm and fuzzy as I think most are, and in truth, I think that most people respond most positively to that kind of support. It's just not "me," which is not to say that I'm not nurturing or supportive. Just that it's expressed differently. The reason I decided to risk it this time was because as blunt as my words were, I also think that they're true, and ultimately, I thought that they might be helpful. "Helpful" was my motivation.

    When I was going through my treatments with no help, I didn't think "how am I going to do this?" as in "I can't do this." I thought of it as, "ok, how am I going to do this? What do I need to do before I get very sick? What things must I have in place? What steps do I need to take right now?" The question of whether or not I'd get through it never crossed my mind, including when I developed a fissure that was so exquisitely painful that I wasn't sure I WANTED to get through it. But I also recognized that line of thinking as a psychological mechanism to impart some sensation of control. People get through all sorts of horrific things in life, and I don't include this treatment in that category. Difficult? Yes. Horrific? No.

    In general, my philosophy is, and always has been, "just put one foot in front of the other." That's all I have to do. The rest will follow.

    in any case, although I'm not much of a hand holder and definitely not a hand-wringer, I do try to be supportive and helpful in my own way, and I thank those of you who have recognized it.

    Best to all.

    Well said, LaCh

    I'm not one to sugar-coat either and I appreciate and accept your "bluntness."

    And I like your philosophy..."just put one foot in front of the other." 

  • mp327
    mp327 Member Posts: 4,440 Member
    #8
    LaCh said:

    Jcorum, stephie, eihtak, Helen

    Thanks very much. I'm always hesitant to express my views, as they're never quite as nurturing, effusive or warm and fuzzy as I think most are, and in truth, I think that most people respond most positively to that kind of support. It's just not "me," which is not to say that I'm not nurturing or supportive. Just that it's expressed differently. The reason I decided to risk it this time was because as blunt as my words were, I also think that they're true, and ultimately, I thought that they might be helpful. "Helpful" was my motivation.

    When I was going through my treatments with no help, I didn't think "how am I going to do this?" as in "I can't do this." I thought of it as, "ok, how am I going to do this? What do I need to do before I get very sick? What things must I have in place? What steps do I need to take right now?" The question of whether or not I'd get through it never crossed my mind, including when I developed a fissure that was so exquisitely painful that I wasn't sure I WANTED to get through it. But I also recognized that line of thinking as a psychological mechanism to impart some sensation of control. People get through all sorts of horrific things in life, and I don't include this treatment in that category. Difficult? Yes. Horrific? No.

    In general, my philosophy is, and always has been, "just put one foot in front of the other." That's all I have to do. The rest will follow.

    in any case, although I'm not much of a hand holder and definitely not a hand-wringer, I do try to be supportive and helpful in my own way, and I thank those of you who have recognized it.

    Best to all.

    LaCh

    Thanks for your post.  I think it will give newbies the strength and encouragement they need to take this journey.  I'm glad you are doing well!

    Martha

  • LaCh
    LaCh Member Posts: 557
    #9
    TraceyUSA said:

    Well said, LaCh

    I'm not one to sugar-coat either and I appreciate and accept your "bluntness."

    And I like your philosophy..."just put one foot in front of the other." 

    Tracey

    Thank you Tracey. Yes, it really is that simple.  As Nike says, "just do it," and "it" is whatever is required. Thanks again.

  • LaCh
    LaCh Member Posts: 557
    #10
    mp327 said:

    LaCh

    Thanks for your post.  I think it will give newbies the strength and encouragement they need to take this journey.  I'm glad you are doing well!

    Martha

    Mp

    Thanks mp,

    hopefully it will. That was my motivation in posting it. 

    Best...

  • pializ
    pializ Member Posts: 508 Member
    #11
    LaCh said:

    Mp

    Thanks mp,

    hopefully it will. That was my motivation in posting it. 

    Best...

    LaCh

    Spot on!!

  • LaCh
    LaCh Member Posts: 557
    #12
    pializ said:

    LaCh

    Spot on!!

    Pializ

    Smile

     

  • judyv3
    judyv3 Member Posts: 143 Member
    #13
    LaCh

    I always found your posts informative and therefore comforting.  I, too, tend to be more business like in my approach.  And to this day just try to put one foot in front of the other.  Lately, I've been tripping a little.  I WILL exceed limitations though.

    Perfect words for all.

  • LaCh
    LaCh Member Posts: 557
    #14
    judyv3 said:

    LaCh

    I always found your posts informative and therefore comforting.  I, too, tend to be more business like in my approach.  And to this day just try to put one foot in front of the other.  Lately, I've been tripping a little.  I WILL exceed limitations though.

    Perfect words for all.

    judy

    Thanks for the kind words Judy.  I can tell you, unequivcally, that anyone focusing on putting one foot in front of the other is going to trip and fall. I do it daily. Daily. I've raised screwing up to a fine art. Most of my trips and falls are over my own feet.  Tripping, falling and failing are all a part of the deal. Without sounding too trite--because platitudes aren't my strong suit either--I can tell you that screwing up is par for the course. Falling is ok. Falling is a guarantee.  Getting up again is the point. That, and not obsessing over the trip you just took.  That's my take on it.  But falling?  Show me one person, just one, who doesn't. And some of us--and I include myself in this category--take more than our fair share of falls, and in my case, the onus is always on me.  Just keep getting up. That's all. As long as you get up at least one more time than you fall, you'll be ok.

  • pializ
    pializ Member Posts: 508 Member
    #15
    LaCh said:

    judy

    Thanks for the kind words Judy.  I can tell you, unequivcally, that anyone focusing on putting one foot in front of the other is going to trip and fall. I do it daily. Daily. I've raised screwing up to a fine art. Most of my trips and falls are over my own feet.  Tripping, falling and failing are all a part of the deal. Without sounding too trite--because platitudes aren't my strong suit either--I can tell you that screwing up is par for the course. Falling is ok. Falling is a guarantee.  Getting up again is the point. That, and not obsessing over the trip you just took.  That's my take on it.  But falling?  Show me one person, just one, who doesn't. And some of us--and I include myself in this category--take more than our fair share of falls, and in my case, the onus is always on me.  Just keep getting up. That's all. As long as you get up at least one more time than you fall, you'll be ok.

    LaCh

    Something definitely missing from this site! A 'like' button

  • LaCh
    LaCh Member Posts: 557
    #16
    pializ said:

    LaCh

    Something definitely missing from this site! A 'like' button

    Pializ

    <smile> thanks pializ, that's ok. you just found it. 

Discussion Boards