A friend and coworker

TracyLynn72 · December 2014

just found out that she has Stage IV cancer in her stomach area with spots on her lung and brain. Her doctors are optomistic and want to hit it hard and get treatment going. She is debating it because she has "always heard" that any Stage IV means no hope. I have told her otherwise. She also doesn't want to lose her hair. I told her it will grow back (and probably healthier!). She keeps hearing so much negative from family that have never had cancer, and she is in give up mode. Please pray for her to listen to the doctors and give this a fighting chance. She has a 13 year old and doesn't want him to "watch her go through treatments" but the doctors have given her 2-6 months if she doesn't treat it. They HAVE given her hope that it can be treated and ultimately beat! I feel very helpless and want to help her, but I'm not sure what really I can do.

phrannie51 · December 2014

I think the shock

of hearing the word "cancer" throws many people so bad they wonder if it's worth fighting....it's a stage, a temporary stage for most. Hair is over-rated .....and yes, it grows back thicker and in some cases curly (not me, unfortuately). You can tell she's in shock by the fact that she's thinking she'd rather her child have no mother, than a mother who is going through treatment! Will be seinding prayers her way....with positive thoughts that her will to fight kicks in.....(I'm optomistic that it WILL kick in).

p

hwt · December 2014

phrannie51 said:
I think the shock
of hearing the word "cancer" throws many people so bad they wonder if it's worth fighting....it's a stage, a temporary stage for most. Hair is over-rated .....and yes, it grows back thicker and in some cases curly (not me, unfortuately). You can tell she's in shock by the fact that she's thinking she'd rather her child have no mother, than a mother who is going through treatment! Will be seinding prayers her way....with positive thoughts that her will to fight kicks in.....(I'm optomistic that it WILL kick in).

p

Tracey

Sorry to hear about your friend. We each have to make our own decisions. It would be sad for her son to live with the fact that she gave up without a fight that doctors told her could save her life. Hopefully, she will come to terms with the upside of treatment before making a final decision.

Sailor123 · December 2014

Hi Tracy:
I think your friend

Hi Tracy:

I think your friend has valid concerns. I weighed my options carefully and if I thought I was doomed either way, I'm not sure I would elect to extend my life with treatment. Actually, i'm sure I would not.

Prayers to her and her family for a peaceful outcome.

Hondo · December 2014

Friend

Let her know about CSN and all the people who were told no hope are still alive and doing well. Also to lose hair is better than her life, some times all we can do is to pray and I will keep her in my prayers.

Tim Hondo

Duggie88 · December 2014

Hi Tracy

People approach this situation diferently. Your friend is scared and needs to face the reality of Oh sh-t I got it. She also needs to surround herself with positive support and that's where you come in. Most of us know that they come up with new things daily and how they treated you yesterday changed today. Many of us are still alive who were confronted with stage 4, it's just a number that might dictate a bit more work. Hell, I'm losing my hair and the ones that are sticking around are slowly turning grey and I'm cancer free. Stick by her Tracy and I hope she comes around.

Hmmmmmmm I remember someone else who was thinking about giving up on treatment.

Enjoy the day...........I even enjoy the bad ones

Jeff

TracyLynn72 · December 2014

Duggie88 said:
Hi Tracy
People approach this situation diferently. Your friend is scared and needs to face the reality of Oh sh-t I got it. She also needs to surround herself with positive support and that's where you come in. Most of us know that they come up with new things daily and how they treated you yesterday changed today. Many of us are still alive who were confronted with stage 4, it's just a number that might dictate a bit more work. Hell, I'm losing my hair and the ones that are sticking around are slowly turning grey and I'm cancer free. Stick by her Tracy and I hope she comes around.

Hmmmmmmm I remember someone else who was thinking about giving up on treatment.

Enjoy the day...........I even enjoy the bad ones

Jeff

Thank you all!

Oh yes...I hit that wall and was DONE. I've told her all about y'all and how you all encouraged me to finish. I am thankful for that each and every day! Y'all are the BEST.

As far as I've heard lately, she has turned off her cellphone and is not allowing visitors. She shaved her head to start chemo, but has decided that once her vacation and sick time runs out she may stop treatment. Her doctors have told her about financial assistant programs, but she doesn't want to waste time applying She was also told that she would not feel up to returning to work immediately with or without treatment, but she won't hear of it. I feel very bad for her and hope that she gets that fight back in her that she had when she first heard those awful words. I know that everyone at work keeps saying "ohhhhh....stage 4, well then there is really no hope" and it's making me crazy to hear that!! When her team has GIVEN her lots of hope, I just hate to see her not at least try.

Crazymom · December 2014

Children with mom and cancer

My kids were 19 and 12 and went through it with me. They became mroe responsible and dealt with it fine. Her kids will help her get through this.

Ann

A friend and coworker

Comments

Discussion Boards