Hard day

Poirier66
Poirier66 Member Posts: 12

I'm having a hard day today feel overwhelmed and sad. Still not sleeping at night and there is a hamster wheel going on in my head. was doing good but for some reason I'm really scared again. I really can't wait until this is over. I also have a sore throat so today I think it has spread cause I usually don't get sick. 

Comments

  • icemantoo
    icemantoo Member Posts: 3,361 Member
    You will be fine

    Each of us had those bad days before surgery. And no your tumor did not spread and cause a sore throat. And no you don't want your surgery moved up. That is for those with larger tumors where time is of the essence.

    A few weeks before my surgery my wife took me to a B and B on the Canadian side of Lake Huron to relax. We went to this fancy British restauant in town where they brought all of the dishes out on a cart for a bird's eye view. And I passed on the Kidney Pie.

    After this is all over you can laugh at this minor inconvenience.

     

     

    Icemantoo

  • foroughsh
    foroughsh Member Posts: 779 Member
    my story

    Hi, I'm not an expert, I think you should ask all details from your Doctor but here is my story

    When a large mass was found in my right kidney by ultrasound, I started googeling and found out there was a big possibility of cancer so I feared to death. I didn't sleep all night, searching & reading about it. At the morning I could literally hear the sound of my heart beating. I couldn't breathe and couldn't speak normally because of my breathing problem and I was sure it was a sign of lung mets but after going to ER and taking a tranquilizer drug it became normal. Few days later and after the surgery during  first few days I used to cough so again I thought it was lung mets but found out it was a very normal symptom of surgeries. Few days later I had pain in my head, again thought it was brain mets but fortunately it wasn't. Then one of my left hand fingers had a very bad pain and within few days all my hands and feet had very bad pain, this time I thought it was bone mets, thanks god it wasn't.

     I talked to one of my friends who is a physician, here is what he said." There are many forms of psychosomatic sicknesses, these sicknesses are caused by your mental factors such as stress, fear, depression and then you feel them physically."

    Wish you a successful surgery and quick recovery

     Forough

     

  • APny
    APny Member Posts: 1,995 Member
    foroughsh said:

    my story

    Hi, I'm not an expert, I think you should ask all details from your Doctor but here is my story

    When a large mass was found in my right kidney by ultrasound, I started googeling and found out there was a big possibility of cancer so I feared to death. I didn't sleep all night, searching & reading about it. At the morning I could literally hear the sound of my heart beating. I couldn't breathe and couldn't speak normally because of my breathing problem and I was sure it was a sign of lung mets but after going to ER and taking a tranquilizer drug it became normal. Few days later and after the surgery during  first few days I used to cough so again I thought it was lung mets but found out it was a very normal symptom of surgeries. Few days later I had pain in my head, again thought it was brain mets but fortunately it wasn't. Then one of my left hand fingers had a very bad pain and within few days all my hands and feet had very bad pain, this time I thought it was bone mets, thanks god it wasn't.

     I talked to one of my friends who is a physician, here is what he said." There are many forms of psychosomatic sicknesses, these sicknesses are caused by your mental factors such as stress, fear, depression and then you feel them physically."

    Wish you a successful surgery and quick recovery

     Forough

     

    Then anticipation and mind

    Then anticipation and mind games with yourself are terrible. Once you have your surgery you'll focus on recovery and not have much energy for anything else. Unfortunately the fear of recurrance and mets don't disappear magically. Everyone tells me that takes time. I totally get it that every little ache and pain is automatically assumed to be a met. I still do it at almost 8 months past surgery. But it will lessen, I promise you. Do get some anti anxiety meds. They definitely help.

  • foxhd
    foxhd Member Posts: 3,181 Member
    APny said:

    Then anticipation and mind

    Then anticipation and mind games with yourself are terrible. Once you have your surgery you'll focus on recovery and not have much energy for anything else. Unfortunately the fear of recurrance and mets don't disappear magically. Everyone tells me that takes time. I totally get it that every little ache and pain is automatically assumed to be a met. I still do it at almost 8 months past surgery. But it will lessen, I promise you. Do get some anti anxiety meds. They definitely help.

    stressfull

    There just isn't anything more stressfull to the psychie than to be relatively healthy one minute and then being told you have cancer. Death completely overwhelms the mind. You can be told all kinds of things to make you accept this or to help you feel better. However, nothing but time passing allows one to face cancer head on. After you find that you are not dead after the first week, then the second, then a month, and so on, do you learn to confront your diagnosis and prognosis. Someone here once stated that in the mean time you still have shopping and laundry and appointments to keep. You have daily living activities that occupy your mind and time. You learn to move forward. Believe me that for those of us that have been here for a few years, we may still have cancer on our mind, (like that dumb song that gets stuck in our head) but we live on. It is a difficult period to live through. You can do it. Many of us have done so. Stay strong.

  • Poirier66
    Poirier66 Member Posts: 12
    It's so great hearing from

    It's so great hearing from everyone on the forum. It gives me piece of mind when I come on and read all the pos. I went out for a nice long walk to clear my head and it was nice to do since I never really went out for weeks now. I am going to return to work for two week and then I will be having my surgery. I think it will do me good to get out and live a normal life until than. I will just have to keep praying that everything goes good during and after surgery. Just know I so appreciate everyone's advice and once this is all said and done I will be paying it forward with my experiences.