Warning...negative ranting post

I wouldn't call your post negative. To me everything you said are just the facts which happen to be negative. We ALL hate cancer and what it does to us and our families. I feel that a person dealing with cancer would have to be superhuman to not have negative moments and thoughts. I want to rant everytime we loose someone here. I too really miss Craig and Phillieg even though they are still with us but not present most of the time. They helped me so much when I first joined this forum. I can imagine what some of the oldtimers on this forum feel. I have only been on here 3 years and there are very few folks left that were on here when I first joined.

UncleBuddy said:

So sorry

it's not an easy thing to go through with family. We all have a right to rant once in a while, whether we are patients or caretakers. I have days where I just want to scream. I am constantly running back and forth to doctors with my dad and brother, worried about who is going to get sick first, and all the while I'm taking care of my own family. My hubby gets mad because I am doing the majority of caretaking and my one sister does nothing and the other helps, only when I ask. It's really tough! Just hang in there! Take care of YOU, too or you'll be no good to your husband.

Lin

You did great! You should see some of the rants I put on facebook. I hate, hate, hate it and wish it would go back to the hell it came from. I can't remember if I posted this before on here but there's a wall at the cancer centre I go to with a treemade out of cardboard and there are black leaves that people can write things on such as 'stay strong' or 'you can beat this'! Every time I walk by I want to write F*** CANCER on a leaf and stick it up there.

Ditto!

annalexandria said:

Not negative, just truth.

It's horrible what cancer does to us, and to our families.  It's a thief, stealing joy, and time, and peace of mind.

I've had people talk about the positives in cancer, how there are lessons to be learned from the experience, and yeah, maybe there are, but I would have happily avoided the whole thing and stayed ignorant of that learning (esp with regards to my sister, who wasn't as lucky as I have been).

And really, your rant is quite polite!  Mine would have included way more F bombs!

 

Our experience has been great!  Very small classes, teachers who know your name, lots of opportunities to work in small groups and get to know other students...and the content of the first two years is identical to that of a four year college, all at a fraction of the price.  We were disappointed at first about this path, now we think it was absolutely a good move (except for oldest kid still living at home, which can be challenging at times ).

Not negative, coping with reality.  

I've had two kids finish graduate schools during my wife's illness. One deferred starting ~16 months at wife's diagnosis and helped substantially with medical and home logistics in crucial periods.  One punted on a PhD perhaps unrelated after wife's second surgery but still has had scientific professional jobs.   We are fortunate because my wife has been stable almost NED during most of these periods, with two emergency periods, dx and second surgery for 2-3 months each.  

We also know a situation where both parents died of cancer under 18 months apart - a great kid midstream lost 1-2 years academically. Changed colleges closer to home and recovered with a godparent's help, then a stable other relationship.  In all cases financial arrangements have been crucial.  

If the kid looks good to a particular college, like top 10% of freshmen, it is possible for a kid to be largely self financing with financial/ merit  aid with minor residual debt at some colleges. However you have to deal with financial aid forms. Sooner is better, talk with the college recruiters and financial aid centers.   In some situations, it may be best to defer the preferred college for a year or skip a strategic semester or two and work part of it.   

The show must go on, carefully.   

Hard to be positive when you have A Disease that can take down the strongest of people.  Cancer gives new meaning to the medical  term FIRST DO NO HARM.  For so many patients the treatments do so much harm.  We need a cure for cancer.  George has been thru Radiation, which lead to an Ostomey bag.  He has had a few surgeries, and is now on chemo for life.  Who knows how long that will be.  He was just stage 2 when he started out, now stage 4 and has no hope of being cured.

Hugs George & Diane

Varmint5 said:

I hate cancer

Jen, I hear you. I hate, hate, hate it too. I am trying to let go of the anger now and move forward for the sake of my son-in-law and grandson and my husband, but it's hard. I wish cancer was an entity that I could kill with my bare hands. F cancer. I hate it. 

Sandy

I think anger is part of the grieving process. It is understandable to hate the very thing that stole you daughter from you. I am sorry again for your loss. My stomach is in knots as I type this thinking about what you are going through. I know you deeply loved your daughter and are such a nice caring person from you past posts. It breaks my heart to see you so angry. I can feel it in your words. You do have a part of her that she left you in your grandson.

I think your feelings are something we have all felt at one time or another. and I love the quote that sue posted because thst is what it comes down to. We need to control what is given to us to control.  That is our reaction to our situation. Love, live, and serve those in our lives s best we can. Hugs to you today. XO

I'm with you on this one!  Stupid cancer!