Colposcopy query.

Hello. I had/have anal cancer due to HPV-16 and already read and post in that forum.

I received chemotherapy and radiation, both of which were difficult and resulted in 3 hospitalizations during treatment. My 3 month sigmoidoscopy shows dysplasia (AIN-1) and a condition where the skin is very dry and easily fissures ("parakeratosis"; turns out that my constant pain was due to fissures, not inflammation). No malignancy, though. My 3 month CT scan discusses wall to wall lymph nodes, however, so I don't know the significance yet until my appointment with the oncologist tomorrow.

Meanwhile, she wanted me to see a gynecologist for a pap smear and HPV test. That exam was peel-me-off-the-ceiling excruciating. She kept telling me to relax so it wouldn't hurt. I assured her that it had nothing to do with relaxation. She said if I ever needed a colposcopy that it would be "very difficult to do on me". I subsequently found out that with women who had pelvic radiation and a high risk of vaginal stenosis that she should have used a very small speculum, the so-called "virginal speculum". I asked the nurse what size speculum was used and she told me that the doctor "always uses the smallest one on all her patients". I think neither the doctor nor nurse have any experience with pelvic radiation. (The radiation oncologist has since given me a vaginal dilator to use.)

Since radiation, I've had a bright yellow vaginal discharge. It's not fluid, it's just there on the panty pamper all the time. Also, my skin turned black (the actual color, not the gorgeous darker skin tones that some people of African descent have). Though it's faded a lot, it's still much darker than my normal skin tone. I asked if the skin of my upper thighs would ever return to normal or are my bathing suit days over. For both issues, she gave me a clipped, "They'll go away."

Well, the nurse called me to say that I need to have a colposcopy because of some "abnormal cells" on the PAP smear. I couldn't get her to be more specific. I asked about the HPV test and was told that they don't need to do a separate test, that the PAP smear would reveal it if it was there.

My speech therapist (I have so-called "chemo brain") says that she had a colposcopy with LEEP procedure and although she has no functional vaginal problems, it was very painful. They told her to take Motrin prior to the procedure, but it didn't help.

I do not want to return to that gynecology woman. I made an appointment to see my GP next week as I trust him to refer me to a good doctor. He also owns the practise with that gyn and I want him to know about my experience.

My questions are these:

* Am I am over-reacting about that gynecologist? Please tell me if I am. It's been many years since I've seen one and that guy has retired. He was thorough and kind with both a pre-exam and post-exam discussion.

* Is a colposcopy an emergency procedure or will waiting a few more weeks be okay?

* I have rheumatic heart disease with lots of arrythmias and easily stimulated vaso-vagal episodes (pain is one trigger, needles and scalpels are another). My cardiologist recommended atropine IV push prior to sedation of sigmoidscopy and colonoscopy and indeed, any other surgery. It helps a lot, bringing my pulse up into the 70s and maintains my blood pressure. Is colposcopy so different and easier to take then other types of scopings that sedation isn't needed?

* Will the discharge go away? Will the skin discoloration go away? Will I ever wear a bathing suit again? Should I turn my kayack into a big plastic planter in the yard?

Thank you so much for your time and attention. I truly appreciate it!