Sometimes you need to take your own advice.

Hi All.

As may of you know, I have been dealing with some issues with my kidneys and a PET positive mass (6.8).   As I was helping another poster here, I realize that I should take my own advice.   I was fixated on all of these issues.   When I reread this post and my advice to her, I decided to ask myself those same questions.

Are you actually feeling ok?

My answer was No.  I feel there was something going on and no one is listening.  Normally, I would be able to handle not feeling well.  I have done it before, but what is making this time so        different.  I was feeling angry too.

So I asked myself  "Why are you feeling this way"?   -

I dug down deep and really thought about this.  Why am I feeling so angry?   Ok I know I am not feeling 100%.  But why am I angry?    So I finally had a melt down and this is what I found out.   I am so angry at the first Urologist that I met with.   I had a CT scan in January which indicated hydronephrosis.  I then had a PET scan (SUV 3.0) which confirmed it and indicated it was moderate hydrourteronephrosis and my gyne/onc wanted me to get a stent put in.   So I met with a Urologist.   He indicated that I didn't have any symptoms to suggest any problems (he also wrote on the his office notes that it was mild (which it wasnt)) and that I should just go back to my gyne/onc and follow-up with him with regard to a tumor that I have.  Further, he said I would not need to have a return follow-up with him.   I had a biopsy of the mass (it was negative) and then had another PET scan in July (SUV 3.2) - Guess what, my hyronephrosis was more advanced and my left kidney shrunk  and that I had some loss of function.   My most recent PET/MRI showed an SUV of now 6.8 and indicated although the hydronephrosis had resolved, that I had left renal parenchymal loss and decreased function.  I was told there is nothing I can do to get the kidney back to normal.   My only thing is to keep it from getting any worse.  I eventually had a stent placed by a completely different Urologist.

So I was totally ticked.   - the reason for my Anger.

To keep myself from going bonkers, I decided to prepare a medical journal of all of the events that have happened to me this year.   Since I have done that, and I keep writing stuff in it, I can write it down and then "LET IT GO".    It has helped tremendously.

Especially now, since my new Urologist says I have nothing to worry about.  (My recent ultrasound - which my PCP wanted -  said I now have mild bilateral hydronephrosis)   I said to Urologist, you mean its on the right side now too?   She says nothing to worry about. The right kidney is working harder for the left kidney.    I have asked her on three different occasions if there is anything I should do diet wise.  She said no.   I also asked if I should limit protein.  She said no.    So I write this stuff down and........LET IT GO.

Thanks for letting me once again rant.   You girls are the best!

Kathy