7 months check-up. Mixed news
There is an enlarged node on the contralateral side, which they're keeping an eye on. Another ultrasound planned in 4 weeks.
The new lesion, also contralaterally, which looks identical to how my original tumour looked last summer before the **** hit the fan... he feels sure that's a mouth ulcer due to rubbing on a nearby sharp tooth.
I trust my Consultant entirely, so I have worked through this on the drive home, in my mind, and have now stopped worrying about the ulcer.
When talking about the node, he spoke about "micro-metastatic disease", i.e., microscopic evidence of cancer, but - for some reason poorly understood by medicine - it does not cause problems.
I have been with my Maxillofacial team for 2.5 years now, and I trust them totally. And I'm a nurse here, saying that I trust a doctor - which is even more of a testimony to how good they are! (Psychiatric Nurses trust no one HAHA!)
So, on balance, I feel this was a mixed-to-fair check up.
I'm more downhearted by him saying I will always have some degree of mucositis. (I had a rare, extremely severe case during and after radiotherapy, with some necrosis).
Over the years, I have made him be completely frank and honest with me, even if it isn't what I want to hear. It's a sort of mutual respect. I would always rather have a realistic picture. He knows he doesn't have to dress it up for me, which saves fannying around.
I can learn to live with low grade mucositis - I have Difflam, Xylocaine, and Fentanyl and Oramorph for if/when it gets really unbearable. Cancer has taught me you can learn to live with a whole lot more than you though, and still keep smiling!!
Peace out xxx Lispy xxx
Comments
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Your strength and upbeat attitude really make me smile. I hope your next scan gives you less of a mixture and more good news! Hugs ~ Beth
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Ah fanx honey. How is yourLumpinmyThroat said:Your strength and upbeat attitude really make me smile. I hope your next scan gives you less of a mixture and more good news! Hugs ~ Beth
Ah fanx honey. How is your hubby going on?
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Mixed yes but more good also.
You have just a wonderful up beat attitude and that is what it takes to fight the beast. With a mouth ulcer due to rubbing on a nearby sharp tooth could be what enlarged the node. It means if it is an ulcer the lymph gland is just doing what it is suposed to be going, fighting the ulcer. I like the way you want the doctors to deal with your condition. I have the same with mine. Just give me the whole truth and I'll find a way to deal with it. I might not like it, but it's what it is and now I will find my way to face it head on. I have to have faith in my doctors as well as respect. With out trust and faith, the best doctor in the world can't help me, but a good doctor I have faith in can save my life. I interview my doctors to see if I like them and they want to take on my condition, knowing I will be envolved in all dicissions. I will say I do have wonderful doctors and complete faith in them.
You will win your battle.
Bill
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Thank you for your lovely
Thank you for your lovely comments
It's tricky when a patient asks you for "the truth" they say "I'm ready". Then you tell them, but you find the poor thing wasn't ready at all, and they are very shocked and upset. The doctor/nurse - patient trust goes both ways. Getting to know your patient and their family is very, very important. I've been with my Maxillofacial team since December 2011, and that is a strength in this whole situation. They know me and I know them, and we're on the same page.
At work, I've been asked so many difficult questions where the answer is going to be a sad one. I have sat with people as their elderly parents have died, held them, hugged them, wiped their tears, then gone home and cried my eyes out myself.
One of the things that is helping me VERY much is being back at work, doing what I love best. My job is hard, it's knackering, it's not well paid, and we sometimes get hurt too! I got knocked out by a patient who punched me in the chops last summer. But OH how I love my job.
Not just the patients, but having a good old laugh with my workpals too. I had missed that very much. I laughed so hard today that a gobfull of Ensure jettisoned out of my nose, all over a workmate. He was drenched. It was in his eyes he couldn't see. We were helpless with laughter!! His hair dried all crispy with Ensure. I had to let him go off ward and have a shower.
You just can't manufacture stuff like that - it's the daft stuff that keeps you going. the laughs and the tears are the golden threads that weave people together.
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Estelle, hoping that you
Estelle, hoping that you never get a report worse than that one. your great attitude will help you thru anything. never let that go.
dj
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You know what I think thewmc said:Mixed yes but more good also.
You have just a wonderful up beat attitude and that is what it takes to fight the beast. With a mouth ulcer due to rubbing on a nearby sharp tooth could be what enlarged the node. It means if it is an ulcer the lymph gland is just doing what it is suposed to be going, fighting the ulcer. I like the way you want the doctors to deal with your condition. I have the same with mine. Just give me the whole truth and I'll find a way to deal with it. I might not like it, but it's what it is and now I will find my way to face it head on. I have to have faith in my doctors as well as respect. With out trust and faith, the best doctor in the world can't help me, but a good doctor I have faith in can save my life. I interview my doctors to see if I like them and they want to take on my condition, knowing I will be envolved in all dicissions. I will say I do have wonderful doctors and complete faith in them.
You will win your battle.
Bill
You know what I think the node is??
I have a guilty secret. I'm into piercings. I've had two new ones recently in the top of my ear and a new nose one. I got my glasses caught on one which has made it slightly infected. I think THAT is the cause of the enlarged node. I don't think it's cancer
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Bless you Estelle and yourEstelle_H said:Thank you for your lovely
Thank you for your lovely comments
It's tricky when a patient asks you for "the truth" they say "I'm ready". Then you tell them, but you find the poor thing wasn't ready at all, and they are very shocked and upset. The doctor/nurse - patient trust goes both ways. Getting to know your patient and their family is very, very important. I've been with my Maxillofacial team since December 2011, and that is a strength in this whole situation. They know me and I know them, and we're on the same page.
At work, I've been asked so many difficult questions where the answer is going to be a sad one. I have sat with people as their elderly parents have died, held them, hugged them, wiped their tears, then gone home and cried my eyes out myself.
One of the things that is helping me VERY much is being back at work, doing what I love best. My job is hard, it's knackering, it's not well paid, and we sometimes get hurt too! I got knocked out by a patient who punched me in the chops last summer. But OH how I love my job.
Not just the patients, but having a good old laugh with my workpals too. I had missed that very much. I laughed so hard today that a gobfull of Ensure jettisoned out of my nose, all over a workmate. He was drenched. It was in his eyes he couldn't see. We were helpless with laughter!! His hair dried all crispy with Ensure. I had to let him go off ward and have a shower.
You just can't manufacture stuff like that - it's the daft stuff that keeps you going. the laughs and the tears are the golden threads that weave people together.
Bless you Estelle and your wonderful sense of humor.
Debbie
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MIXED BUT
Hey Estelle,
Congratulations on the mixed, but mostly good news! I'm glad that there's no evidence of the beast, but sorry that you have to deal with other annoying, ongoing, but non-lethal medical issues. Yep, we do learn to live with a lot more than we would have ever imagined we could. We just do what needs to be done and, with a smile, keep it mov'in forward. Best wishes to you.
PATRICK
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You know what, I am ALIVE.patricke said:MIXED BUT
Hey Estelle,
Congratulations on the mixed, but mostly good news! I'm glad that there's no evidence of the beast, but sorry that you have to deal with other annoying, ongoing, but non-lethal medical issues. Yep, we do learn to live with a lot more than we would have ever imagined we could. We just do what needs to be done and, with a smile, keep it mov'in forward. Best wishes to you.
PATRICK
You know what, I am ALIVE. That alone is good news )
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