Long term psychological problems

AV1690 · July 2014

Cancer survivor for 41 long years. Met my wife when I was 38 and she was 26.after marriage she wanted a child and I didn't. This was because I did not want to leave a young wife and child fearing eventually regturn of cancer given the treatment I received. But I saw thow much it meant to her so we had a daughter when she was 33 and I was 45. Three years later exactly onmy 49th birthday I started feeling very dizzy. The next years were followed by numerous trips to doctors psychiatrists psychologists. I thought I had MS. My body was on fire. I was scared to death. Even though I was cleared and told I had anxiety I couldn't stop the body scanning and concern that it would return. I was stuck living with the shadow of death instead of living life. Three years ago I had to have two heart valves replaced and have been living with chest discomfort since that time. More tests by cardiologists pulmonary physicians GI doctors. The chest pain is anxiety. So for the last 17 years I have wasted my life waiting for the inevitable that hasn't arrived.. I love my wife and daughter beyond anything I could imagine . But I now have lost both as they are exhausted living with a dead man walking. So I was afraid of losing my family to a reoccurrence of my cancer but instead lost them onlybecause of a fear of recurrence. Quite the irony.

Unknown · July 2014

Shadow of death

I feel deeply for you and hope you are able to come to grips with your situation and win your family back. I won't say much but I would like to say what I have accepted in life. We ALL live in the shadow of death from the time we are born. Probably as many people die before leaving the womb as are born alive. Death is inevitable from the point of conception. Its just a fact. I have accepted that everyone dies and that what we have and what really matters is today. But that is a fact for everyone, period. No exceptions.The inevitability of eventual physical death makes every day of life more precious. That is how life works. People who have a serious illness are just more aware of it, but really in the final analysis, everyone is in the same boat. Please try to get some help in coping. All my best.

vinslymphoma · July 2014

Live the life!!!

hey AV

i admire firstly that you are such a great fighter and a great epitome of confidence and inspiration to other survivors and you have won the battle of cancer 41years ago when there was not much medicines i guess as we have it today..

iam sorry to hear about your circumstances but its not the end i hope...it seems you are already on the path to your normalcy as you have realized about your mistake...n thanks for sharing with us...it makes me feel...just take it one by one..but atlast there is no human being who is going to remain here..one day everyone has to go...so live the life fullest possible way..request you to take some good break and help other cancer survivors with your valuable learning about life after cancer..i am sure you will get back your loved ones when you are ready...

rtsparks · July 2014

I'm so sorry

I'm so sorry that you feel that way. I'm just going to tell you a few things that have helped me because I think we all worry about dieing, especially when one has had cancer.

Years ago, I had a friend who had cancer and I would go visit her. She was always happy. One time I paid a surprise visit, she was on morphine the day that I went to visit her, and she was losing her battle to cancer. She said to me, "I knew that you would come on a day like today". I asked her, "how she could be so happy." She said, "there are so many beautiful things in the world to enjoy, how can I not be happy." That was the last time I saw her, but I have never forgotten it. Each day is a gift. That has helped me. Be grateful for every new day.

Another one of my friends that has MS, she gets some pretty bad episodes that lay her out for months at a time in bed. I asked her the same question. She said, "I just tell myself, today is a good day."

Don't worry about all the days ahead. Just worry about today, and do the very best you can. It sounds like you have a beautiful wife and a beautiful daughter. And by the way your story has inspired me to live each day to it's fullest. Life is so short. None of us have a guarentee on another day. Find someone you can talk to, whether it is a friend or councelor and be grateful for every day as you and your family begine to heal.

I have only been cancer free for 4 months, but I will try to follow my own advice. Thank you for sharing your feelings.

jimwins · July 2014

rtsparks said:
I'm so sorry
I'm so sorry that you feel that way. I'm just going to tell you a few things that have helped me because I think we all worry about dieing, especially when one has had cancer.

Years ago, I had a friend who had cancer and I would go visit her. She was always happy. One time I paid a surprise visit, she was on morphine the day that I went to visit her, and she was losing her battle to cancer. She said to me, "I knew that you would come on a day like today". I asked her, "how she could be so happy." She said, "there are so many beautiful things in the world to enjoy, how can I not be happy." That was the last time I saw her, but I have never forgotten it. Each day is a gift. That has helped me. Be grateful for every new day.

Another one of my friends that has MS, she gets some pretty bad episodes that lay her out for months at a time in bed. I asked her the same question. She said, "I just tell myself, today is a good day."

Don't worry about all the days ahead. Just worry about today, and do the very best you can. It sounds like you have a beautiful wife and a beautiful daughter. And by the way your story has inspired me to live each day to it's fullest. Life is so short. None of us have a guarentee on another day. Find someone you can talk to, whether it is a friend or councelor and be grateful for every day as you and your family begine to heal.

I have only been cancer free for 4 months, but I will try to follow my own advice. Thank you for sharing your feelings.

Hi rtsparks !

Thank you for reminding us all to have an attitude of gratitude in your post. I really appreciated it!.

Hugs and best wishes,

Jim

Long term psychological problems

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