Apr surgery for mum tomorrow, need advice (cancer of rectum)

First, let me welcome you to this board.  You will find the folks here very supportive and willing to share information.  I am so very sorry that you find the need to be here, but you have landed in a caring place.

I was 63 when I had the surgery you are describing, plus a bit more.  I have a perm colostomy.  That was 4 years ago.

How your mom will do with the surgery depends alot on her overall general health.  Mine was very good before cancer diagnosis.

What part of the world is your mom in?  We have members from all around the world.

I was told to get plenty of protein after surgery to promote healing.

I had someone with me for about 6 or 8 weeks to make sure that I got the rest I needed and ate.

I found that sleeping in a reclining chair was easiest for me.  I am a restless sleeper and it helped to keep me still and not pull on the incision site.

Recovery takes time, but with a good surgeon, good after care and support from famiy and friends, life can be good after this surgery.

If you have specific questions, don't hesitate to ask.

Wishing your mom best outcome from the surgery and an easy recovery.

Marie who loves kitties

Hi Steph, I had the surgery although I am 44. If your mom is in good general health she should be okay. I did not have the best hospital experience so be your mother's voice and don't hesitate to disagree.  It's a bit of a whammie on the body. A year out and I still don't have the strength to lift or run. Just doing light exercise.  I don't know anyone I've talked to who didn't go through depression after so be open and sensitive to discussing her feelings and also when she's able, get her out of the house even if just in small amounts. Getting out helped me realize my world had not ended, just changed.  If your insurance covers it don't stick with the style of bag the hospital gives you. Get samples and try different options. I use a two piece system and have a great quality of life.  It's peel, clean, restick and go. Go with the flow, be vocal, make sure she gets proper nutrition (people can be sensitive to certain items. I can no longer have citrus or dairy) and she should be a-okay.  PS 69 is not at all old. 

Steph19877 said:

Hi everyone thanks so much

Hi everyone thanks so much for your responses and peace of mind. We are in the UK in Bristol and my mum is currently having the APR operation as we speak. myself and my dad are sat here waiting for the call to say it's over. I feel physically sick with worry. The thought that my mum will now go through months of hell after this is heartbreaking. She is 69 yes but her general health is very good so we are praying for the best. Thank you for your comments and I hope you are all doing well in your recoveries. I will update later to say how she got on. Thank you 

just one question, I know that infections are very likely after this op... Are they easily treated with antibiotics?

The chances that your mums surgery will go well, are the best ever. The chances of an infection after surgery are always there, but hopefully will not come to pass. When you are with your mum after surgery and in the hospital, make sure that everyone who comes into the room, uses the hand gel. I know England is having tons of problems in hospitals. 

The chances of your mum going though 'months of hell' are slim too. If she is healthy, and she has the love and supoort of those around her (you and your dad, plus others), then it does not have to be hell. 

And you and your dad, you have to take care of yourselves too, because you need to be there for her. Its normal to worry, but over-worrying causes more stress and more problems. A positive attitude goes a VERY VERY VERY long way in the healing of your mum. Honestly, I can't stress that enough. Talking as a Stage IV patient, I do NOT want negative people around me. I do not want people to treat me like I am dying. I want positive, happy people around me, and if they aren't positive and happy, then they can stay away. 

Happy is healing. 

If you really are having problems letting go of the worry, try a little meditation, it helped me when I was first diagnosed. 

Thank you for coming back. Your mum will heal and beat this beast, with a loving daughter and husband by her side (and other family & friends). 

Keep visiting here, we can help you along the way. 

Blessings!

I had a resection with a iliostomy when I was 77, so I don't thing age is cause for worry.  Knew a lady who had a permanent bag for past 8 years and lived a normal life.  Good luck to you both.

Steph19877 said:

update: mum had a good nights

update: mum had a good nights sleep and is much better today very pleased so far so good. Thank you for your encouraging words 

I think this deserves one of my specials

I pray she will find her happy place, and be able to relax into the fight. I know, sounds weird, but sometimes it takes a fight just to come to terms with the disease, and then you have the energy to fight. 

Thank you for your updates. We're always here for you (and mum). 

Steph19877 said:

update: mum had a good nights

update: mum had a good nights sleep and is much better today very pleased so far so good. Thank you for your encouraging words 

It's an unfortunate reality that many aspects of surgery can be hard on the brain...the anesthesia, the hospital environemnt, the pain meds, the physical trauma to the body (even tho *you* are unconscious, the body still reacts to what has been done to it).  In my own experience of having multiple surgeries, it can take days, or even longer, to recover mentally.

 Your mum may still have some issues once she gets home.  I had one especially difficult stay, with two days of being essentially psychotic due to a combination of anti-anxiety meds and opiates at overly high doses (I was petting cats that I thought were on my bed, and answering phones that weren't ringing...very weird).  It took me months for things to fully clear up from that experience.

If your mother has anything similar after she gets out of the hospital, it's not really anything to worry about.  Just give her a sympathetic ear and she'll be fine!

Hi Steph, Glad to hear your mom is better.   Sorry I wasn't on to reply. I went a few days technology free.  As I mentioned, my hospital experience was not the best.  I had a similar reaction to the medications.  I screamed at people right after my surger.   I don't remember much but everyone else does.  I'm not sure if I was actually awake.  I do remember seeing my Aunt for about 3 seconds but I thought I was dreaming.   For the first few days, I would wake up in pain and wanted to crawl out of my skin and couldn't get comfortable on the bed.  My daughter took a picture of me with red racc -oon eyes which was a reaction from the morphine.  I had such a bad reaction to the medications.  I finally got a nurse that stepped in, fixed up my bed with heat, pillows and blankets so that things were more comfortable and called the doctor to assess the situation.  After that, things went a little more smoothly.  I started to get very vocal (politely) so that I could get what I needed.   It's really not always the best experience after such a long surgery.  The staff needs better training in assuming that a person is having a bad reaction to medication instead of thinking the person is being difficult.  As for anxiety, Ativan is very mild and what I use.  I use the lowest dose possible and have had no reaction outside of mild relaxation.   I also can not use most meds.  A few have put me in the ER with suicidal thoughts and one had me hearing voices.  I'm a little shocked they are giving her codeine.  Is she in pain?  I had to get off of the liquid morphine and take a pill form.  I do not remember if the pill was morphine or percocet but codeine doesn't seem like enough.  Each person is different though so as long as she's comfortable.  It was much better once I switched to pill form.  I could take it more often and had more control.   I hope things are getting better and better.