Stage 4 colon ca with mestastasis

I am so sorry to hear about your fiance's diagnosis. Everyone here knows the shock, horror and fear assosiated. I can tell you, and this may come as a shock, that it gets better. The diagnosis or seriousness of it, stays the same; but once your fiance starts treatment, the stress level diminishes drastically. There is something about starting to do something that just takes the strain off. 

This is how I personally handle the situation I find myself in (stage IV with mets to the liver).  I just think that I will live a full and happy life, with maybe some tough times in-between. I have set a goal to live until I'm at least 88, as that sounds like a good age.  I will do all I can to achieve that goal, and leave the rest up to the Lord (my own personal faith).  But the key for me is to live until I die. I'm going to be happy and positive until I take my last breath. True, it may get a little tough at times, but thats true for everyone. 

Your fiance really needs you to be strong. Its hard, but get yourself up and about, and I promise you, it will start to get better as he starts treatments. 

Be careful what you read on the web. Check dates if you are researching, as allot of information out there is out of date. Even these last ten years great strides have been seen. 

This is a WONDERFUL forum, filled with people who are travelling the same road as you. Caregivers are here who can see things from your perspective, patients, like myself, who can give information on this end. 

Visit often. Ask questions, vent, cry, laugh (we do laugh, honestly). We are here for you and your man. 

Blessings!

This forum is the best place for support, encouragement and venting.

I was Dx'ed Jan 2012, with stage 3 colon cancer/signet cell...... by the way I was 49.

It is now 2.5 year NED (No evidence of disease) and I am doing good.

I had the right-hemi colon surgery, then the port then 6 months of chemo.

It was a tough road at times but you need to decide you will charge up that hill - encourage your fiance to do so (together).

Do not do the "Dr. Google" routine.  There are only a few good/true souces of cancer info on the internet - some data is out dated and there have been great strides in colon cancer treatments over the last 10 years or so.

If your fiance is having a bad day, let him have it, but get up the next day and kick cancer's a##.

Keep us updated.

Welcome to the forum.  We are sorry to hear about his RX, at the same time this group is a wealth of support and information.

We are sending our thoughts and prayers.

Do not read anything about cancer dated 2007 and before.   Things have improved that much and are much happier to read!

Do not believe the numbers.  Good attitude, diet, exercise, mental strength will become such a huge factor, that the numbers mean little.

Diet, mental health, attitude, exercise are large factor to one's health.   They will also make fighting cancer a lot easier!   I was up walking 1.5 miles after my last cancer surgery. (Resection of the colon, resection of the small intestine in multiple places, 20 mets removed, 2 pelvic tumors removed.) I was in great shape and not in a hurry. lol I also wanted to be out side.  I sat down every chance I got. My wife and I watched the birds every time we sat down. We talked about life and being happy. Do not knock yourself out, the message is to get out and enjoy what you have.  Sometimes we forget that the simple things are the most important things.  Spouse, Family, and friends.

Best Always,  mike

Rsdmk said:

Oh how true that is he is a

Oh how true that is he is a bit upset he was the chef of the house I was very spoiled now I've cut out all red meat and he loved his steaks but he understands the necessity of how his diet has to change and my priorities have changed his every need comes first we never argued and never will I want him to stay happy and stress free this man is my life as well as my children and grandchildren he's become a papaw and loves every min of it all the kids have rallied around him it's been a beautiful and sad last few wks but I know we will be victorious thank you all 

Welcome to the board, and I wish you and your husband the best during this difficult time.

I'm a patient, and have about the same amount of cancer mets that your husband has - Stage IV, rectal primary tumor, mets to liver, lungs, and adrenal glands.  I am single, and am my own caregiver so to speak but I have very supportive family and friends nearby, and I lucked out and found a fantastic primary oncology group.  

I hope for miracles, but am also realistic about my odds - reading other peoples' stories on boards such as this one has helped me get a good handle on how this disease runs.  there are a lot of variables. The best advice given to me was "you're not dying til they tell you you are" (from a very wise oncology nurse) and to keep on living until that time. It took awhile to sink in because the initial post-diagnosis period is a lot like shock. 

I've been alive two years since diagnosis and have tried to enjoy every minute of it, so my advice to your husband is to balance the "fight" with enjoying his remaining days, weeks, months, years.  Let him eat red meat! For one, if he goes on chemo, he'll need the protein to keep his red blood cell levels up, and sometimes chemo takes away appetite so it's easier to force down fun food than, say, ensure which is slimy and gross. Two, if steak gives him great satisfaction and joy, don't take it away. Denial and austerity hurts.  I'm with you on the smoking cessation since he has lung mets, but as for other changes in routine, particularly eliminating things that used to give him pleasure and satisfaction, I'm not so sure about that, but whatever gives him a sense of control and comfort. I've stopped drinking alcohol altogether, but some of my other cancer patient friends can't do this so they limit themselves to, like,  one drink a week (great source of satisfaction for them!)  Not to sound corny but the more love and connection he can get from family (kids, grandkids, etc) the better, and will give him strength to handle all the treatments and keep on going each day.

Glad you found this board - it has really helped me these past few years - we all help each other in our own unique ways.

best

Karin

lilacbrroller said:

welcome!

Welcome to the board, and I wish you and your husband the best during this difficult time.

I'm a patient, and have about the same amount of cancer mets that your husband has - Stage IV, rectal primary tumor, mets to liver, lungs, and adrenal glands.  I am single, and am my own caregiver so to speak but I have very supportive family and friends nearby, and I lucked out and found a fantastic primary oncology group.  

I hope for miracles, but am also realistic about my odds - reading other peoples' stories on boards such as this one has helped me get a good handle on how this disease runs.  there are a lot of variables. The best advice given to me was "you're not dying til they tell you you are" (from a very wise oncology nurse) and to keep on living until that time. It took awhile to sink in because the initial post-diagnosis period is a lot like shock. 

I've been alive two years since diagnosis and have tried to enjoy every minute of it, so my advice to your husband is to balance the "fight" with enjoying his remaining days, weeks, months, years.  Let him eat red meat! For one, if he goes on chemo, he'll need the protein to keep his red blood cell levels up, and sometimes chemo takes away appetite so it's easier to force down fun food than, say, ensure which is slimy and gross. Two, if steak gives him great satisfaction and joy, don't take it away. Denial and austerity hurts.  I'm with you on the smoking cessation since he has lung mets, but as for other changes in routine, particularly eliminating things that used to give him pleasure and satisfaction, I'm not so sure about that, but whatever gives him a sense of control and comfort. I've stopped drinking alcohol altogether, but some of my other cancer patient friends can't do this so they limit themselves to, like,  one drink a week (great source of satisfaction for them!)  Not to sound corny but the more love and connection he can get from family (kids, grandkids, etc) the better, and will give him strength to handle all the treatments and keep on going each day.

Glad you found this board - it has really helped me these past few years - we all help each other in our own unique ways.

best

Karin

What a WONDERFUL post.  What a great blessing you are here on the forum. I just had to tell you that. Thank you. I know the post is for our new friend, but it has touched my heart and given me strenght. Thank you again. 

I'm sorry that you've joined a club that no one wants to be at, but you've found a great bunch of people that can help you through a lot of your questions.  You are at a place right now that most of us has already been.  It's going to be hard going through this journey but it does get easier as mentioned above.  There will be some days that will seem like a complete defeat and others where there is a glimmer.  Please just take one day at a time.  He's lucky to have you helping him through this.  Also, as mentioned above, do not look at stats on the internet.  Treatment has come a long way in 10 years and most of that is outdated.  Please don't hesitate to come to the boards to get support, help, to rant, questions, etc.  We have a lot of experience of our own that we can share with you both.

Kim

None of us know when our time is up. His dr told us (my brother has stage 4 rectal cancer) that the stats are old and to just live for today. Stay healthy, enjoy life and make sure you have a lot of support. This is a great forum for love and support. I am a caregiver, too, and was overwhelmed in the beginning. Many wonderful people on here have helped me accept what is coming and given me the iformation to live for today for my brother. He is currently doing a low dose of chemo because of complications, but we take one day at a time.

I wish you stregth in this arduous process.

Keep the faith. His doctor told him she has seen things she never expected.

Lin