Big Day Tomorrow

CammieS
CammieS Member Posts: 43
in Colorectal Cancer #1

It's been a crazy couple of weeks. My husband has had a colonscopy where they found a mass. Then, the pathology report confirming that it was cancer.

I've been taking care of calls with the insurance company, schedulers, etc., so everything is in place for his tests tomorrow -- a CT scan and MRIs. He's got to the tests. It's the only way I know how to help right now.

I've started worrying and sometimes it's completely overwhelming. The worst part is not knowing. We'll find out his results next week. In the meantime, I'm staying optimistic rather than let the fear take control.

Comments

  • jen2012
    jen2012 Member Posts: 1,607 Member
    #2
    Hi Cammie,  Good luck

    Hi Cammie,  Good luck tomorrow.  I hope you get good news that it is early stage.  Glad you found this place early, it's been a Godsend for me.  My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 rectal cancer in Aug 2012 and those first few weeks were some of the hardest.  Hang in there and don't be afraid to ask any question.  Let us know how the scans and appts go.

  • Trubrit
    Trubrit Member Posts: 5,804 Member
    #3
    Beleve it or not, it gets easier

    I know that sounds weird, becasue your about to be told a whole bunch of stuff and start a whole lot of tests and treatments, but I can tell you, that once you know exactly what is going on, once your Oncologist tells you what the plan is, and you are fine with that, then the stress gets less, because, you will be actually working on the problem. Doing something, chemo, radiation, surgery, at least you know you are working on getting rid of the problem, and that alone relieves a whole bunch of stress. 

    You seem like you've got everything in order. A good notebook for all questions and answers. Working with insurance, money, appointments, all under control.

    This is how I handled my stress and worries, which may not work for you, but I'm just sharing. I would allow myself 10 minutes a day for the weepies, for the dark thoughts, for the 'what ifs' and then I would move on by being positive, believing that I am going to beat this, by being happy and living life. 

    I know you will come up with a way to handle your worries, and when you do, life will be much better. 

    Be sure and visit often. We're full of great advice. 

  • fatbob2010
    fatbob2010 Member Posts: 467 Member
    #4
    Good Beginning

    Cammie,

    Sounds like the two ofy ou are ready to start this journey.  Good  to hear from people who are seemingly proactive.

    Your anxiety is totally understandable.  Tru Brit had a good suggestion allowing yourelf a short time to grieve and worry every day then move on with a positive attitude. 

    Let me add to this and suggest you write down your concerns during this period and let them be the basis for your questions with the Oncologist, Surgeon, etc.

    Sending positive ((Vibes))

    Art

  • jen2012
    jen2012 Member Posts: 1,607 Member
    #5
    Oh and if you can get the

    Oh and if you can get the oncologists (and the nurse) email, I have found that very helpful in getting questions answered.   I'm sure my husband's onc regrets the day she gave me her email , but she does answer them.

  • CammieS
    CammieS Member Posts: 43
    #6
    Trubrit said:

    Beleve it or not, it gets easier

    I know that sounds weird, becasue your about to be told a whole bunch of stuff and start a whole lot of tests and treatments, but I can tell you, that once you know exactly what is going on, once your Oncologist tells you what the plan is, and you are fine with that, then the stress gets less, because, you will be actually working on the problem. Doing something, chemo, radiation, surgery, at least you know you are working on getting rid of the problem, and that alone relieves a whole bunch of stress. 

    You seem like you've got everything in order. A good notebook for all questions and answers. Working with insurance, money, appointments, all under control.

    This is how I handled my stress and worries, which may not work for you, but I'm just sharing. I would allow myself 10 minutes a day for the weepies, for the dark thoughts, for the 'what ifs' and then I would move on by being positive, believing that I am going to beat this, by being happy and living life. 

    I know you will come up with a way to handle your worries, and when you do, life will be much better. 

    Be sure and visit often. We're full of great advice. 

    Weepies

    Trubrit, I'm allowing myself time to cry/panic/completely lose it when I shower. My husband doesn't see or hear me and he hasn't  complained that I'm not singing dreadfully off-key like usual. 

    I have age my notebook with notes about each call, appointment, insurance approval number, etc. I'm tracking everything. 

    I'm trying to prepare for the worst, while hoping for the best. I'm very thankful that my in-laws are coming to support my sweetheart. (They live 1,000+ miles away.) plus, my father-in-law is a doctor and can help navigate through everything. It also helps that I think they're wonderful and they treat me like one of their own. 

    We're in a good place, with great doctors and lots of resources. 

    Does anyone have recommendations for books to read or avoid?

  • janderson1964
    janderson1964 Member Posts: 2,215 Member
    #7
    I really hope that your

    I really hope that your husbands scans dont reveal anything else. Your feelings are completely normal. Nothing can ever prepare you for a cancer diagnosis. Your right that the worst part is not knowing. Waiting for scan results has always been one of the toughest things for me and I have been at it for nearly 9 years now. Ironically I just had a CT this morning so I am playing the same waiting game.

    It's good to be strong for your husband but it is ok to cry together. My wife and I have cried together several times but once we were done crying it out we would go right back into fighting mode.

  • Trubrit
    Trubrit Member Posts: 5,804 Member
    #8
    CammieS said:

    Weepies

    Trubrit, I'm allowing myself time to cry/panic/completely lose it when I shower. My husband doesn't see or hear me and he hasn't  complained that I'm not singing dreadfully off-key like usual. 

    I have age my notebook with notes about each call, appointment, insurance approval number, etc. I'm tracking everything. 

    I'm trying to prepare for the worst, while hoping for the best. I'm very thankful that my in-laws are coming to support my sweetheart. (They live 1,000+ miles away.) plus, my father-in-law is a doctor and can help navigate through everything. It also helps that I think they're wonderful and they treat me like one of their own. 

    We're in a good place, with great doctors and lots of resources. 

    Does anyone have recommendations for books to read or avoid?

    Thinking of your husband today

    You definitely sound like you have got it all together. 

    I will be praying and sending good vibes your way and hoping the scans are comfortable and that you can chill during the days it takes to get those results. 

    I believe that if you live in America, you can pick up your own results when they are ready and not have to wait until your next Doctor's appointment. Of course, with the weekend on top of us, they probably wouldn't be ready until next week in any case. 

    Good luck to hubby .

  • CammieS
    CammieS Member Posts: 43
    #9
    jen2012 said:

    Oh and if you can get the

    Oh and if you can get the oncologists (and the nurse) email, I have found that very helpful in getting questions answered.   I'm sure my husband's onc regrets the day she gave me her email , but she does answer them.

    I don't have their emails, yet...

    Since we haven't met with the oncologist, yet, I have no way of contacting him or his nurse.

    However, our regular doctor is great. After meeting with our super regular doctor. I wanted to leave a message for the oncologist to let him know that my father-in-law is also a doctor. The onc's receptionist was unhelpful (didn't write it down and acted like it was unimportant). I sent a quick email to my doc and his nurse took care of it for me.  

    So far, I'm keeping things together. I met with my doc today and he gave me info on support groups, nurses who will help navigate treatment and a list of counsellors. If I don't take care of me, I can't take care of my sweet husband.

    He was a trooper today -- MRIs and CT are complete. He's got a nice bruise from the needles, but it's all done.

    Now, it's just time to wait. 

  • CammieS
    CammieS Member Posts: 43
    #10
    janderson1964 said:

    I really hope that your

    I really hope that your husbands scans dont reveal anything else. Your feelings are completely normal. Nothing can ever prepare you for a cancer diagnosis. Your right that the worst part is not knowing. Waiting for scan results has always been one of the toughest things for me and I have been at it for nearly 9 years now. Ironically I just had a CT this morning so I am playing the same waiting game.

    It's good to be strong for your husband but it is ok to cry together. My wife and I have cried together several times but once we were done crying it out we would go right back into fighting mode.

    Rooting for you, too

    I hope *neither* of the CT scans reveal anything new or unexpected. 

  • carrieh
    carrieh Member Posts: 146 Member
    #11
    CammieS said:

    Rooting for you, too

    I hope *neither* of the CT scans reveal anything new or unexpected. 

    Waiting is the hardest

    One of the hardest parts of all of it is the waiting and the uncertainty. As you go through all of the procedures, treatments, and testing...it can seem like you are always waiting. Waiting for news, waiting for the doctor etc... Something that helped me was telling myself that nothing had really changed...what I mean by that is...The cancer was there before, you just didn't know it. Now that you do...you can fight it. Its no worse than it was the day before the test that confirmed it. Yes, now there are treatments, maybe some fear, worry, sadness...a mix of emotions...but if you can find a way, and eveyone is different, try to just go about living as you best you can without letting the disease take complete control of your life and happy moments. It can weigh on your mind every single day and moment if you let it. I wish you and your husband the best.

    Carrie

  • janderson1964
    janderson1964 Member Posts: 2,215 Member
    #12
    CammieS said:

    Rooting for you, too

    I hope *neither* of the CT scans reveal anything new or unexpected. 

    Amen to that.

    Amen to that.

  • CammieS
    CammieS Member Posts: 43
    #13
    carrieh said:

    Waiting is the hardest

    One of the hardest parts of all of it is the waiting and the uncertainty. As you go through all of the procedures, treatments, and testing...it can seem like you are always waiting. Waiting for news, waiting for the doctor etc... Something that helped me was telling myself that nothing had really changed...what I mean by that is...The cancer was there before, you just didn't know it. Now that you do...you can fight it. Its no worse than it was the day before the test that confirmed it. Yes, now there are treatments, maybe some fear, worry, sadness...a mix of emotions...but if you can find a way, and eveyone is different, try to just go about living as you best you can without letting the disease take complete control of your life and happy moments. It can weigh on your mind every single day and moment if you let it. I wish you and your husband the best.

    Carrie

    Thanks

    Carrie, 

    thanks for for the reminder. I need to put it away and do our normal stuff. Today has been a typical Saurday -- coffee then yoga then brunch. All things we'd do before diagnosis, and none of that has changed. I'm not saying that it won't change in the future, but, for now, it's good.

    on another note, we came home to a message from the gastroenterologist, and results from the CT came back. Nothing else was found, and in his words "so far, so good."

    I appreciate the support from everyone. I haven't dealt with anyone I've loved being diagnosed with cancer before. It feels good to know that you are willing to share.

  • LindaK.
    LindaK. Member Posts: 506 Member
    #14
    CammieS said:

    Thanks

    Carrie, 

    thanks for for the reminder. I need to put it away and do our normal stuff. Today has been a typical Saurday -- coffee then yoga then brunch. All things we'd do before diagnosis, and none of that has changed. I'm not saying that it won't change in the future, but, for now, it's good.

    on another note, we came home to a message from the gastroenterologist, and results from the CT came back. Nothing else was found, and in his words "so far, so good."

    I appreciate the support from everyone. I haven't dealt with anyone I've loved being diagnosed with cancer before. It feels good to know that you are willing to share.

    Good News

    That is good news.  Just try to keep calm.  Sounds like you are level headed.  My advice as the wife of a colon cancer patient is to go with your gut.  If something doesn't feel right, push for information or a 2nd opinion until it does feel right.  There are good and bad caregivers and treatment centers.  I'm sosry you found us, but I have found so many helpful people on this board.  Hang in there and keep us posted on the next step(s) for your husband. 

    Linda

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