21 years old, post-BMT. trouble with friends

I had something similar
Hi!

I hope everything is going well
I was stuck in the hospital when I was 16. and as you know, when you're getting chemo and all, you can't have visitors etc. in addition, I was in a hospital very far from home so I only got to see my family very rarely too... what I found comforting was emailing ppl have pictures sent, watch films over and over again when I can lol... Ok, watching the same film several times was because that was really all I could do,,, now with more resources, I bet you could watch new ones

luckily, I had treatment from the last month or two of the school year, through the summer and a month or so into the next school year... so, I didn't miss as much of school as I could have... when I went back to the same grade, the friends I was close to before that seemed very supportive on emails seemed to be in another world. They were talking about things, laughing their **** off, and to me,,, it just wasn't funny at all,,, I guess it was before I got diagnosed and went through treatment and all, but not when I went back? and the "D" word so many ppl use when their tired, or just before exams really, REALLY bothered me. actually, I used to say stupid stuff all the time before, but after really going through a life threatening situation, I guess one's perspective changes. Soon enough, I made new friends though but sometimes I just felt like I was in one of those glass Ball things that have water and synthetic snow inside that I used to play with around Christmas when I was a child...
But I have to tell you, you will definitely find new and better ppl to hangout with!!! people that are just truly fantastic the new friends that I made back then are still my very good friends. I bet it's tough, but just believe that everything's gonna workout
Also, I think even making friends through the internet would be helpful especially cause without an adequate immune system, it's not easy to go out and I seemed to get through everything with a lot of emailing

All the best

I was about the same age and experienced the same...
I was diagnosed just after the summer ended in 2000, right after I graduated High school, my whole life was put on pause.

Man that is REALLY hard. I think that the resentment and pain of some of my friends walking away essentially, even my GF was worse then the cancer sometimes. I had a lot stick by me, but I realized that I had to be proactive for some reason people get scared or intimidated by a sick person, no idea why. I started an email list and since I couldn't seem to wake up at a normal time, I was up at 4:30-5AM every day and first thing I would do was send out an email to people, like a blog I guess. Start a blog. I would let people know my thoughts etc. When I started involving people they showed up more.

I would invite people over and bug them. I would not guilt trip people, but I would let them know, hey, I'm stuck at home, and could stand for someone to be around and just hang out. I would make activities out of it, board games, card games, etc. Munchkin is amazing fun. I had AIM, MSN, Yahoo, all that, that was my social outreach. NO sick people, and as soon as you open the door, make them wash their hands. I started gaming a lot, I had all that spare time, I even played pro in the early days of competitive gaming, started my first company with friends through that and met some great people that I keep up with even now. There are a ton of outlets.

I found a great bit of friendship on this site under my old username when I was lonely during that time, some of the folks I met have turned into long time friends. Sadly there is not much for young cancer survivors, well when I was looking that is, and I just didn't fit into the groups I found.

Try to make people comfortable, it's BS that you have to, but cancer is serious stuff and people can be stupid. I wondered sometimes if someone started a rumor I had leprosy or something. I was never afraid to be blunt and let people know that they were not being supportive, I also let them know right off, I don't want your pity, I don't need you to look at me like a sick lost puppy. I need you to continue being the friend you have been. That approach needs to be weighed carefully, some people can't handle that type of statement. I didn't go to my 10 year High School reunion because I was afraid I might be blunt to someone. I've gotten passed most of this, but there are situations that can trigger me to be pissed off and remember that pain.

I had stage 4b t cell lymphoma. shoot me your email or whatever and we can talk over google chat or something if you want. I would really like to help another young survivor that is going through what I did.