Pat is under hospice care

Goldie1
Goldie1 Member Posts: 264 Member
in Colorectal Cancer #1

Two weeks ago, Pat started hospice care.  After 3 trips to the ER within 2 weeks for severe pain, the ER doc recommended that I talk to a hospice social worker.  One of the hardest decisions that Pat and I have discussed in the last 3 years of his cancer fight.  He is home, on a morphine pump, hospice nurse comes in everyday, and he is comfortable.  I second guessed myself for days after but for Pat to be finally pain free is the most important thing right now.  

Ellen

Comments

  • LindaK.
    LindaK. Member Posts: 506 Member
    #2
    Hard news

    I am so sorry to hear this, I can feel your emotional pain in your words.  As long as his pain is under control must give you some peace.  This road we take as wives of cancer patients sure is hard.  I'm sure he is happy to be at home and have you by his side.

    Linda

  • Trubrit
    Trubrit Member Posts: 5,804 Member
    #3
    So very sorry to hear is

    I pray that Pat will continue to find relief from the pain, and comfort as he travels this path. 

    My thoughts and prayers are with both of you. 

    Blessings!

  • karguy
    karguy Member Posts: 1,020 Member
    #4
    Bad news

    I'm sorry to hear the bad news.At least he is pain free.I will pray for him.

  • lp1964
    lp1964 Member Posts: 1,239 Member
    #5
    I wish ...

    ...both of you the strength to get through this and the power to cherish all the years you spent together. I know you did not plan it this way, but I hope you feel fortunate to have each other this long.

    Laz

  • mom_2_3
    mom_2_3 Member Posts: 953 Member
    #6
    Ellen

    Ellen, 

     

    I am so sorry that you are facing this but I am so glad that Pat's pain is under control.  I hope that you are both able to reflect, laugh and love some more during these days.  I keep you both in my thoughts.

     

    Amy

  • jen2012
    jen2012 Member Posts: 1,607 Member
    #7
    I'm so sorry Ellen.
    I'm so sorry Ellen.
  • janderson1964
    janderson1964 Member Posts: 2,215 Member
    #8
    I am sorry to hear this

    I am sorry to hear this Ellen. I will pray that you will have strength through this and Pat will remain comfortable.

  • Lovekitties
    Lovekitties Member Posts: 3,364 Member
    #9
    Dear Ellen

    I was the caregiver and medical advocate for my sister.  I found hospice to be a wonderful support not only for my sister, but our entire family.

    Comfort care is all we could wish for when all other options were exhausted.

    May Pat and you find the same level of comfort.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

    Marie who loves kitties

  • Jeremy2323
    Jeremy2323 Member Posts: 13
    #10
    Lovekitties said:

    Dear Ellen

    I was the caregiver and medical advocate for my sister.  I found hospice to be a wonderful support not only for my sister, but our entire family.

    Comfort care is all we could wish for when all other options were exhausted.

    May Pat and you find the same level of comfort.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

    Marie who loves kitties

    You are you my thoughts and

    You are you my thoughts and prayers.

  • Chelsea71
    Chelsea71 Member Posts: 1,169 Member
    #11
    Hi Ellen.  So sorry to read

    Hi Ellen.  So sorry to read about Pat.  He has put up such an impressive fight.  You must be very proud of him.  I'm sure this is a very hard time for you.  I will be thinking of you both.

     

    Chelsea

  • geotina
    geotina Member Posts: 2,111 Member
    #12
    Ellen:

    I am so sorry for what you are facing.  Hopefully hospice will keep Pat comfortable and pain free.   From someone who understands, I know just how difficult and painful this is for you.   I am so very sorry you have to face this. 

    Hugs to you and your family -

    Tina

  • annalexandria
    annalexandria Member Posts: 2,571 Member
    #13
    I'm so sorry, Ellen.

    This is just heart-breaking.  I'm glad that his pain will be better managed now, but I know from my experience with my sister that making the choice to transition to hospice is hard and sad.

    How are things going now?

    I'm sending love and hope for peace to you both.

    AA

  • Goldie1
    Goldie1 Member Posts: 264 Member
    #14
    Thank you

    I just wanted to thank everyone, it really helps to have the support of people who understand how difficult this can be.  

    Pat had to return to hospice inpatient.  I could see him grow more agitated each day last week.  Friday and Saturday he just was so confused and angry.  From going up and down stairs, trying to take a shower, pulling out the wires of his morphine pump.  And, each time I tried to help him, he just got angrier.  He slept less and when he got up, it was the same process all over again, day and night.  And he was on morphine, haldol, and ativan.  It's like they had an adverse effect on him.  No pain but very, very, agitated.  So, got him back to hospice inpatient yesterday.  The doctor told me today that they would like to keep Pat and try to get his agitation under control.  If they have to do it by iv, then he will not be able to return home.  So, we will see how Pat is the next few days.  I would like him to be at home but I want him to be safe.  I am so scared that I will sleep through (I am exhausted) Pat getting up and falling, I would never forgive myself.  

    Thank you again, for everything, I don't get on here as much as I would like, but the support from all the good people on this site means a lot to me.

    Ellen

  • Lovekitties
    Lovekitties Member Posts: 3,364 Member
    #15
    Goldie1 said:

    Thank you

    I just wanted to thank everyone, it really helps to have the support of people who understand how difficult this can be.  

    Pat had to return to hospice inpatient.  I could see him grow more agitated each day last week.  Friday and Saturday he just was so confused and angry.  From going up and down stairs, trying to take a shower, pulling out the wires of his morphine pump.  And, each time I tried to help him, he just got angrier.  He slept less and when he got up, it was the same process all over again, day and night.  And he was on morphine, haldol, and ativan.  It's like they had an adverse effect on him.  No pain but very, very, agitated.  So, got him back to hospice inpatient yesterday.  The doctor told me today that they would like to keep Pat and try to get his agitation under control.  If they have to do it by iv, then he will not be able to return home.  So, we will see how Pat is the next few days.  I would like him to be at home but I want him to be safe.  I am so scared that I will sleep through (I am exhausted) Pat getting up and falling, I would never forgive myself.  

    Thank you again, for everything, I don't get on here as much as I would like, but the support from all the good people on this site means a lot to me.

    Ellen

    Dear Ellen

    The decisions caretakers must make for their loved one are not easy, but know that you did the right thing.

    It sounds like Pat needed far more care that you could be expected to deal with.

    I know you would like to see him home again.

    As much as you want to be there for him always, you have to take care of you too. 

    Prayers and many hugs to you both.

    Marie who loves kitties

  • Cathleen Mary
    Cathleen Mary Member Posts: 827 Member
    #16
    Lovekitties said:

    Dear Ellen

    The decisions caretakers must make for their loved one are not easy, but know that you did the right thing.

    It sounds like Pat needed far more care that you could be expected to deal with.

    I know you would like to see him home again.

    As much as you want to be there for him always, you have to take care of you too. 

    Prayers and many hugs to you both.

    Marie who loves kitties

     
    Dear Ellen,
    Oh, this is so

     

    Dear Ellen,

    Oh, this is so hard. Please know you and Pat are in my heart and prayer. I wish that our help could be more concrete.

    I am sure that you are exhausted. You have done everything that you can...everyone should have such a wonderful caregiver.

    Prayers for Pat's comfort.  Please take care of you.

    Hugs,

    CM

  • Kathleen808
    Kathleen808 Member Posts: 2,342 Member
    #17
    Ellen

    Oh Ellen,

    You are making such loving and careful decisions for Pat.  I am sorry this has been so hard at this stage.  I pray Pat gets some peace and that the agitation goes away.  Thinking of you.

    Aloha

    Kathleen

  • maglets
    maglets Member Posts: 2,576 Member
    #18
    Kathleen808 said:

    Ellen

    Oh Ellen,

    You are making such loving and careful decisions for Pat.  I am sorry this has been so hard at this stage.  I pray Pat gets some peace and that the agitation goes away.  Thinking of you.

    Aloha

    Kathleen

    Ellen

    oh Ellen this must so so very hard on you  and of course hard on Pat too.  I do so hope they can find some medication that will relieve his anxiety. I hope you can get some rest for yourself too Ellen....all the very best,

    maggie

  • fatbob2010
    fatbob2010 Member Posts: 467 Member
    #19
    Peace and Comfort

    Ellen,

    So sorry that this time has come upon the two of you.  I find myself at a loss for words at a time like this.  I can only imagine the feelings being conflicted for both of you.  

    I can't imagine how the two of you are struggling to find meaning in what might feel meaningless.

    Peace and comfort,

    Art

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