Uh Oh

fishmanpa said:

Scanxiety

"Scanxiety"

It's something I read about here since I joined but never really experienced until February of this year. I believe it was because I was so wrapped up in just healing that I didn't have time to digest the reality of my situation. Now, as I'm approaching a year out and healing, my life is approaching the "new normal" and it's drastically different. Still, it is the normal I'm getting used to and anything outside of that I experience physically raises my defenses. 

It's interesting, on the forums, there are many who at times post about their fears. We read them, understand them but perhaps have not experienced them ... "yet". There have been some that feared they had cancer due to a sore in their mouth or a swollen node and we shared our knowledge and experience trying to reassure them. Most times, those individuals would see a doctor and be diagnosed healthy. Seeing that, sparked my interest in health anxiety and anxiety disorders in general and I've researched extensively, even participating on an anxiety forum. Due to that interest and the knowledge I've gained, I was able to immediately recognize the physical and mental symptoms when they arose recently, just as my prior expeience with depression helped me recognize and address the issue. 

From about two weeks prior to my last scope, poke and prod, the "scanxiety" really started for me. I was irritable, on edge, restless etc. The weekend prior, as I was sitting at home relaxing, I started to have chest pain. It was really uncomfortable. Not "heart attack" uncomfortable but enough to raise the red flags. Long story short, I ended up going to the hospital. I stated flat out that I really feel this is anxiety related but based on my history, they did a full workup which came back normal.

Then the swollen node a week and a half ago. Holy *@&^%#! Talk about stress! The bottom line? I have "scanxiety". Big time! I spoke with my doctor and have a mild med to take when needed. Much like depression is a residual mental side effect of a heart attack, it's a residual issue with cancer as is anxiety. Some suffer more than others. 

Yes Phrannie, it was a HUGE relief when my doctor told me my scan was "unremarkable". It's a good thing to be "unremarkable" when it comes to cancer. Interestingly enough, the sense of relief has been followed by an extreme fatigue. Yesterday, I was totally physically and mentally exhausted. The strain of the last 10 days has really taken a toll. 

When I was dealing with some minor depression prior to the new year, I downloaded a CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy) course off the web. While much of the material didn't apply, there was much that did and it's helped me in challenging my mindset. It also was very informative as to the physiology of anxiety and how our bodies react to danger and stress. This knowledge has been very helpful as well as the techniques for dealing with it. It certainly came in handy during the last ten days. It's one thing to deal with the initial diagnosis of cancer, it's another to deal with a recurrence or the threat of a recurrence. 

It's a difficult thing to be a survivor. The uncertainty, the fear of recurrence, the side effects, all take their toll on us physically and mentally. I'm finding I have to heal physically as well as mentally from the battle and just as physical symptoms can arise years later, so can mental symptoms.

Positive thoughts and prayers

"T"

 

"T", Great news on the "unremarkable" scan.  My 1 year anniversary is today of the ENT telling me "Houston, we have a problem" and you need a CT and MRI to see how bad is today.   Next week I see the Oncologist for a chest xRay & follow up but he didn't want to do a scan until the summer (not sure why but I am definitely going to ask when I see him next week) and I'm sure I will be a little anxious before the visit.

Great news and I hope you stay "Unremarkable" for a very, very long time.... Me too I hope:)

Keith

fishmanpa said:

Scanxiety

"Scanxiety"

It's something I read about here since I joined but never really experienced until February of this year. I believe it was because I was so wrapped up in just healing that I didn't have time to digest the reality of my situation. Now, as I'm approaching a year out and healing, my life is approaching the "new normal" and it's drastically different. Still, it is the normal I'm getting used to and anything outside of that I experience physically raises my defenses. 

It's interesting, on the forums, there are many who at times post about their fears. We read them, understand them but perhaps have not experienced them ... "yet". There have been some that feared they had cancer due to a sore in their mouth or a swollen node and we shared our knowledge and experience trying to reassure them. Most times, those individuals would see a doctor and be diagnosed healthy. Seeing that, sparked my interest in health anxiety and anxiety disorders in general and I've researched extensively, even participating on an anxiety forum. Due to that interest and the knowledge I've gained, I was able to immediately recognize the physical and mental symptoms when they arose recently, just as my prior expeience with depression helped me recognize and address the issue. 

From about two weeks prior to my last scope, poke and prod, the "scanxiety" really started for me. I was irritable, on edge, restless etc. The weekend prior, as I was sitting at home relaxing, I started to have chest pain. It was really uncomfortable. Not "heart attack" uncomfortable but enough to raise the red flags. Long story short, I ended up going to the hospital. I stated flat out that I really feel this is anxiety related but based on my history, they did a full workup which came back normal.

Then the swollen node a week and a half ago. Holy *@&^%#! Talk about stress! The bottom line? I have "scanxiety". Big time! I spoke with my doctor and have a mild med to take when needed. Much like depression is a residual mental side effect of a heart attack, it's a residual issue with cancer as is anxiety. Some suffer more than others. 

Yes Phrannie, it was a HUGE relief when my doctor told me my scan was "unremarkable". It's a good thing to be "unremarkable" when it comes to cancer. Interestingly enough, the sense of relief has been followed by an extreme fatigue. Yesterday, I was totally physically and mentally exhausted. The strain of the last 10 days has really taken a toll. 

When I was dealing with some minor depression prior to the new year, I downloaded a CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy) course off the web. While much of the material didn't apply, there was much that did and it's helped me in challenging my mindset. It also was very informative as to the physiology of anxiety and how our bodies react to danger and stress. This knowledge has been very helpful as well as the techniques for dealing with it. It certainly came in handy during the last ten days. It's one thing to deal with the initial diagnosis of cancer, it's another to deal with a recurrence or the threat of a recurrence. 

It's a difficult thing to be a survivor. The uncertainty, the fear of recurrence, the side effects, all take their toll on us physically and mentally. I'm finding I have to heal physically as well as mentally from the battle and just as physical symptoms can arise years later, so can mental symptoms.

Positive thoughts and prayers

"T"

 

Hey "T",

Sorry to hear the convergence of both physical and mental issues slamming you. Handling one at a time is usually doable but when getting battered about by both, it is very normal to encounter some rough water (throwing that in for the hooks and bait crowd).

Similar to the common high anxiety for some during rad sessions, some of the same methods for calming may be effective. Everything from an Ativan to holistic meditation etc might be worth exploring.

You been a great warrior thus far and you'll continue forward - you know the saying, one step at a time, one day at a time.

Don