Connie needs your help & Support

I agree with John, have you had thyroid checked.  Some of the things you list sound like thyroid issues.  I am constantly worrying about recurrance, unfortunately I have had many, hopefully done.  I had a clean MRI last week so no anxiety until June!  How are you sleeping?  I still have problems sleeping.  Never really feel rested.  Are you able to get out and get some fresh air.  Sometimes taking a walk helps.  Hopefully you will be getting better daily.

John says "we're all scared, but we can't let it consume us".....it's a reminder to me to not let the thoughts...the "what if's" over whelm me.  I doubt I have had 10 straight minutes in the last 2 years that cancer didn't enter my mind in one degree or another.  My worst times are the 2 or 3 weeks before scans.....where I'll aquire a half dozen symptoms that seem to magically disappear after the scan is over....so I KNOW my head is doing me in.  I have a few tricks.....one is deep breathing (yoga style), it relaxes and you can't think about cancer if you're concentrating on breathing.  I also do self talk.....remind myself I don't have cancer at this minute, so I might as well get moving on what I'm doing this day.  You've passed the two year critical time....the majority of Drs. will tell you that recurrances fall dramatically two years after treatment.....take that and run with it!!!

Have you had an xray of your back?  The hard part about being older is than many things that we'd attrubute to aging if we'd never had cancer we now go "uh oh"....and wonder and fret is this it??  I can tell you that if my back had hurt for two years to the point of taking pain meds, I'd want to know what is.....it's not cancer.....is it arthritus??  The eating what we can eat, dragging a bottle of water with us wherever we go, waking up to our tongues stuck to the top of our mouths....are all things we just learn to live with.....all things considered, are probably better than needing two knee replacements (to me, anyway ....)  What about anti-anxiety meds?  It's not like they are forever.....but they'd help you get anxiety under control in order to learn other tricks before getting sucked into the black hole of fear. 

As for regulating your own heat....well, my thyroid already has been going down hill.....and they keep upping the meds.....I'm still cold, and I'll be dressing the same way in June as I am today.....the whole neighborhood gave me thumbs up and a Whoop last year when I finally wore short sleeves (in July)....LOL.  Do get a blood test tho, and make sure your thyroid is doing what it should.

p

Connie, my 1 year anniversary of the Dr telling me I needed a cat scan and MRI is tomorrow.  That was the day my life really changed as did everyone's on this site.  I'm always feeling my neck for something and get a little anxious before each doctor appointment.   Some nights I do sweat ( I may of done that before),  I started taking Lexipro at the end of my treatment and am still taking it as I think it helps.  I've been married to my wife for 32 years and really cherish every moment with her and my children, especially after how they all rose to the challenge this past year.   I also have some nerve damage but nothing that slows me down or something I can't live with.   I also still can't eat spicy food ( and I LOVED IT) and frequent the same restaurants (I know I did that before).  I sometimes get choked on bread or whatever.  Our paths are very similar.   

as far as the emotional challenges, you've been through an awful lot the past few years so some of that is to be expected.   You might talk to your Dr about how your feeling and if you aren't taking an anti depressant you might want to see it helps.  It definitely helped me.   When I look back at how far I've come in a year and overall how good I feel now, even with a few little side effects, it's pretty amazing.  i'm sure you've come a very long way for the the lows of how you felt at the bottom in 2011.  We all have a lot to be thankful for. 

As LongTermSurvivor had in his background info, we need to live and not let the fact we had cancer dictate our life.   We've all been give another chance and no one knows how long any of us have but we're still here and appreciate every day more than we did before all the crap.    Lean on Homer and your family, try a few new things as I guarantee that almost any restaurant has something you can enjoy (with some water).  Relax and smell the roses:)

all the best,

Keith

Homer & Connie,

The fear of cancer reoccurrence is unavoidable once you’ve had it (and have the side effects to remind you).  You just manage the feeling the best you can whether through breathing, exercise, therapy or meds.  As long as I don’t dwell on the negative, I am not too bad.

I just returned from Ruby Tuesday where I had a Smoke House Burger & fries with 2 large glasses of water and 1 ice tea.  Everyone in the restaurant finished their meals before I did, but slow and steady wins the race (or the meal).

I fought being tired and now feel somewhat better as the doctor tries to figure out my Thyroid meds.  I wanted to move to Florida and get warm, but I manage with an electric blanket.

If it does help, more time under your belt is supposed to be a plus.

Good luck on the appointment.

Matt

Homer and Connie:

Welcome Connie!  I can't speak about your symptoms as I can only speak from caregiver standpoint; but wanted to reply as Homer's replies to my posts have been so encouraging and uplifting.  I agree that the fear of the return of the beast never leaves 100% even for caregivers. I'm dealing with that right now with my best friend of 58 years as her husband's cancer has returned and has mets to brain.  I'm leaving to go spend the weekend with them in their new house.  Their house burned this time last year and she lost her 95 year old father in the fire and Steve (her husband was in the middle of his rad. and chemo tx!)  But Praise the Lord they rebuilt and now in their new house.  Cancer does put a strain on your marriage.  In my case Charlie was wonderful and I was the basketcase!  If he ever was depressed I never knew it.  And at his service his brother when he spoke said, "Charlie was one for whom the glass was always half full - NEVER half empty"  That is so true.  I even found Life is Good t-shirts with that on it so of course I bought them!  Try to remain as optimistic as you can and keep a sense of humor.  Praying that scan will be clean and God bless to both of you!  We are always here for you both.

Jan (Basketcase)

Connie and Homer, congrats for 30 years. Jim and I just celebrated 30 years too. Happy you are getting thyroid checked. I have heard it said that after head and neck treatment it isn't if your thyroid goes south, it is when.

Jim has had some of the same symptoms since treatment. Some were addressed when he went on thyroid meds, some were not. The crying easily was one. He was on anti depressants for awhile but quit taking them when he was ablr to fish again. He lives to fish. Maybe if you could find something you really like to do and make sure you make the time to do it will help. Jim would get up every mornibg at 5am fish until 9 or 10, then he would be tired the rest of the day. But this kept him positive, happy and gave exercise. He now is unable to physically go fishing but dreams about it all the time.

As for the fear. Yes it is always there, even for the caregiver. Coming to this site and expressing the fear and reading replies helps a lot. Jim has a great fear of choking. he will not even swallow liquilds now for fear of choking. Never removed PEG so he does everything through tube.

I pray for you both and wish you blessings.

Debbie

Grandmax4 said:

Dear Connie & Homer

the fears and what ifs ,you go through ,are pretty normal, I am right now in the midst of getting my thyroid checked...I've had a blood test, Tues, I take a pill at 10:30 pm and go to the lab at 7:30 am, for another blood test, then on Thurs will have an ultasound. I'll let you know..anyway, I'm a pretty laid back person but I take an anti-depressive pill every day..

Just remember, we've all been there, done that..and we're her to listen and encourage..never be afraid or embarrassed to ask for some help..keep the faith and walk in peace

Connie and Homer

As always, sending you some positive vibes and hoping everything gets better for 2 of my old friends on here!

My best being sent your way!

Greg

CuttieConnie said:

I was diagnosed with a brain

I was diagnosed with a brain tumor at the age of 12 in 1996 and not supposed to make It. 

 

• I have noticed a lot of the symptoms that you mentioned I still suffer from to this day good night sweats I get cold very easily and one time cold it is really hard for me to get warm again the anger is another thing I have been taking Prozac for it since 1996 often on

wow, cuttie, i'm so you were so sick at such an early age.  was it cancer?  what tx did you have?  have you been cancer free since 96?  i hope you are well and living life as well as can be expected after cancer.  i know the side effects of tx changes our lives forever but we learn to accept our new life and go on.  but i also understand the anger.  i still get angry at my new way of life sometimes and it has been 2 yrs and 3 months for me, but who's counting, right?  like you tho, i do my best to live life and not let cancer rob me of anything more than it already has.  i won't let it and i hope you wont' either.

God bless you, CuttieConnie.

dj