3 am and no sleep UPDATED

jim and i
jim and i Member Posts: 1,788 Member
edited March 2014 in Head and Neck Cancer #1

UPDATE: THANKS FOR ALL YOUR PRAYERS, THEY WORKED. WE BOTH FELL ASLEEP AROUN 4-4:30 BUT JIM AWOKE AT 6:30 NEEDING TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. I MESSAGED A NEW FRIEND I MADE WHO IS A RETIRED NURSE. SHE SUGGESTED I LIE NEXT TO HIM AND HOLD HIM. IT TOOK ABOUT AN HOUR BUT HE EVENTUALLY SETTLED DOWN AND FELL ASLEEP, ALTHOUGH HIS MUSCLES STILL TWITCHED SOME. 45 MINUTES LATER THE AID CAME TO GIVE HIM A BATH. THAT HELPED AND HE SLEPT MOST OF THE DAY AND WAS ALERT THAT EVENING. WE BOTH SLEPT SOUND THAT NIGHT AND LAST NIGHT. HE HAS BEEN DOING WELL BUT IS VERY PALE AND SHALLOW BREATHING THIS MORNING. STILL TIEING FISHING LURES IN HIS SLEEP JOHN :) ASKING FOR CONTINUED PRAYERS. THANKS FOR THE RECOMMENDATIONS. I HAVE FAMILY WHO WILL STAY WITH ME BUT I HAVE A HARD TIME LETTING THEM DO THAT AS JIM (AND I) DO NOT WANT TO BE FAR AWAY AND I AM AFRAID THEY WON'T HEAR HIM WAKE UP. HE ALSO WOULD NOT LET THEM HELP HIM GO TO THE BATHROOM. i WILL PRAY ABOUT IT.

THANKS AGAIN FOR YOUR THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS

DEBBIE

Jim is very restless this morning. All night he has been talking in his sleep and reaching up or moving his hand like he is moving a curtain aside. I am exhausted mentally, emotionally and physically. Nothing I do seems to help him rest. The hospice nurse came today and he looked good and is vitals were good except for his BP was up a little for him. Not long after she left he started getting confused again and talking in his sleep. He has progressively gotten more confused and restless. I have tried turning the lights out, playing the TV. One time he said my light looked far away. I did not have a light on. I eventually got up and sat next to him in the chair and that is where I am now. He just waved to someone and said goodbye, then turned on his side. Maybe he will go to sleep. I will probably stay here next to him.

Thanks for listening anyone who is awake at this hour.

Debbie

Comments

  • Ladylacy
    Ladylacy Member Posts: 773 Member
    #2
    You

    Debbie, I am so sorry to hear about Jim.  It is most important that you take care of yourself too.  Did you know that hospice has a program where you can put them in-hospice for 5-7 days for you to take a break.  This program can also help get pain under control and probably the sleep problem to.  The cost, from what I was told when my husband went on hospice is $5 per day.  I know my uncle had to put my aunt in-hospice for a week due to exhaustion and to help her get her pain under control.   Maybe something you could find out about.  Believe me, I know how hard it would be to do it, but you need your rest too.

    Maybe one of your children or a friend could come sit with Jim while you get some rest.  

    Wishing you both peace and comfort -- Sharon

  • Skiffin16
    Skiffin16 Member Posts: 8,305 Member
    #3
    Thoughts, Prayers and Love...

    Sent your way for both you and your man....

    ~John

  • Hondo
    Hondo Member Posts: 6,636 Member
    #4
    Prayer

    Praying for you both

    Tim Hondo

  • debbiejeanne
    debbiejeanne Member Posts: 3,102 Member
    #5
    debbie, i'm sorry that jim is

    debbie, i'm sorry that jim is so bad and that you and jim are up all night.  i can't imagine what you are feeling.  like the others said you must take care of yourself if you are to continue taking care of jim.  praying that you are both able to get some rest and comfort.

    God bless you,

    dj

  • hwt
    hwt Member Posts: 2,328 Member
    #6
    debbiejeanne said:

    debbie, i'm sorry that jim is

    debbie, i'm sorry that jim is so bad and that you and jim are up all night.  i can't imagine what you are feeling.  like the others said you must take care of yourself if you are to continue taking care of jim.  praying that you are both able to get some rest and comfort.

    God bless you,

    dj

    Have they given Jim any xanax or lorazapam to help him relax? You might even ask about a low dose for yourself. Continued prayers for you & Jim.

  • PJ47
    PJ47 Member Posts: 376
    #7
    What you are describing sounds very normal for Jim

    He is preparing to cross over.  I would not recommend medicating him for that unless he is combative, however, you do need rest so the idea of respite from Hospice or relief from friends or family is valid.  Please take care of yourself and do not try and go it alone,

    PJ

  • KareGiver
    KareGiver Member Posts: 301 Member
    #8
    PJ47 said:

    What you are describing sounds very normal for Jim

    He is preparing to cross over.  I would not recommend medicating him for that unless he is combative, however, you do need rest so the idea of respite from Hospice or relief from friends or family is valid.  Please take care of yourself and do not try and go it alone,

    PJ

    Dear Debbie,

    I have been keeping up with your posts without responding...please know you and Jim are in my thoughts and prayers.  As my Randy has been gone 14 months now, I agree with PJ that Jim is preparing to cross over.  Take a deep breath, talk, sing and hold on to him.  Wishing both of you peace.

    Take care,

    Lynda

     

  • CivilMatt
    CivilMatt Member Posts: 4,724 Member
    #9
    T&P

    Debbie,

    Thoughts and prayers.

    Matt

  • inittogether2
    inittogether2 Member Posts: 18
    #10
    CivilMatt said:

    T&P

    Debbie,

    Thoughts and prayers.

    Matt

     
    Debbie please know you and

     

    Debbie please know you and Jim are in my prayers.

     

    Jody

  • catfish_58
    catfish_58 Member Posts: 138 Member
    #11
    Prayers

    prayers sent to both you and jim

  • donfoo
    donfoo Member Posts: 1,773 Member
    #12
    By your side

    Know I am thinking about you and Jim and wishing you strength and courage during these very very difficult time. Take comfort there are many here who are right by your side.

  • fishmanpa
    fishmanpa Member Posts: 1,227 Member
    #13
    With you....

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and Jim...

    "T"

  • Grandmax4
    Grandmax4 Member Posts: 723
    #14
    Praying

    Jim is back, planning a fishing day~~my thoughts are with you

  • Ruben and Jude
    Ruben and Jude Member Posts: 155
    #15
    medications

    Hi Debbie. I'm so sorry you two are going through this. My heart goes out to you.

    Has hospice offered Jim haldol (haloperidol) to help relax him? If he's being given Ativan (lorazepam), it sometimes has an adverse effect, causing anxiety/anxiousness, depending on the age of a person. If they've offered morphine, don't be afraid to use it, unless he's allergic, it will help ease his efforts to breathe. (I am an on-hold oncology and hospice RN.)

    God bless and be with you during this difficult time. It's never easy at this stage. My prayers are with you.

    Jude

  • jim and i
    jim and i Member Posts: 1,788 Member
    #16
    Ruben and Jude said:

    medications

    Hi Debbie. I'm so sorry you two are going through this. My heart goes out to you.

    Has hospice offered Jim haldol (haloperidol) to help relax him? If he's being given Ativan (lorazepam), it sometimes has an adverse effect, causing anxiety/anxiousness, depending on the age of a person. If they've offered morphine, don't be afraid to use it, unless he's allergic, it will help ease his efforts to breathe. (I am an on-hold oncology and hospice RN.)

    God bless and be with you during this difficult time. It's never easy at this stage. My prayers are with you.

    Jude

    oops stuttered

    Thanks Jude, He was taking lorazepam and that day the nurse told me to gived it to him twice a day. Before that I only gave it to him when he was anxious or stressed. I have stopped giving it and he has done better. Jim is 79 years old and has always been treal sensitive to medicine side effects. I will ask about haldol. Thanks for your prayers. The help more than you know.

    Debbie

  • Ladylacy
    Ladylacy Member Posts: 773 Member
    #17
    jim and i said:

    oops stuttered

    Thanks Jude, He was taking lorazepam and that day the nurse told me to gived it to him twice a day. Before that I only gave it to him when he was anxious or stressed. I have stopped giving it and he has done better. Jim is 79 years old and has always been treal sensitive to medicine side effects. I will ask about haldol. Thanks for your prayers. The help more than you know.

    Debbie

    Haldol

    Debbie, the hospice nurse had me give Joe some haldol and he didn't like the way it made him feel.  So they took it out of the house along with the morphine because he didn't like the way it made him feel either.   He had never taken much medication of any kind until this beast reared its ugly head.   I know that the older we get our bodies react differently to all the medications out there.  What we could take in the past, we can't take now.   Just like they had Joe on Ambien and they just took him off it.  It was only 5 mg to help him sleep but he was having some side effects.  Please know that we are thinking about you and Jim.  Please take care of yourself too.  

    Wishing you both peace and comfort -- Sharon

  • wmc
    wmc Member Posts: 1,804
    #18
    You and Jim

    I'll keep you and Jim in my prayers.

  • Skiffin16
    Skiffin16 Member Posts: 8,305 Member
    #19
    Fish Blood...

    Fishing is in our blood....

    When we're awake, we are thinking of fishing... When we are asleep, we dream of fishing... Hell... when we're fishing, we are thinking of fishing, LOL... It's in our blood... Solar Powered here in Florida, fish blood running through our veins.

    FP

    You are both now and continually in my prayers...

    John

  • Noellesmom
    Noellesmom Member Posts: 1,859 Member
    #20
    the comfort of family

    Debbie, just having family close, not necessarily doing the most personal of things for your Jim, can be such a blessing.  I stubbornly refuse help with family members who may be in transition and live to regret the opportunities for closure I may have cost others.

    You and Jim both will be in our prayers.  

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