Victory over the C word!

Way to go, Kris! I am a newbie here, and appreciate your input. My first scan is coming up next month. Fox, Ron, Nano and many others have helped me to feel more relaxed about it all. I have learned from them that there is more than one way to skin a cat - if something shows up, it can be cut out or treated by the multitude of meds that they have out there. When I tell concerned friends and family that it is something to look at as more of a chronic thing, they seem pleasantly surprised and relaxed. No point wasting time and energy worrying!!

Hugs,

Jojo

twinthings said:

thanks for sharing

Kris, thanks for sharing your thoughts. 

It's encouraging to newbies like me, who still, 9 months later, thinks about cancer every. single. day.  Unlike jojo and so many others, my attitude sucks!  Granted, it's getting better, but I still have a long way to go. 

I have such admiration for fellow survivors who are consistently upbeat and positive, whose attitudes work for them vs against them, like mine.  I strive to be more like them but if I said it was easy, I'd be lying. 

The giant bulge in my stomach (a result of my surgery) that prevents any and all of my clothes from fitting properly and comfortably is a constant reminder of my kidney cancer, every day I get dressed.  Will it go away?  Not according to my doctor.  So, I don't see how I will ever again wake up and get dressed and not think about it.  I am thankful to God that my cancer is gone and, I get that whining about the after effects makes me sound ungrateful and pathetic but, to me, the bulge is a BIG problem.  Not as big as cancer, but a problem none the less.  I'm sure some will judge me and think my issues with my bulge are driven by vanity, but they'd be wrong.  They're far deeper than that.  I have no choice but to accept it, now I just have figure out a way to deal with it...graciously.  I'm working on ithat

My attitude has been a work in progress, some days it's better than others.  Your little pep-talk gives me hope!  And, I know that at the end of the day, if my bulge continues to be my biggest hurdle, that makes me one of the lucky ones.

Jojo - you always make me smile!  If attitude is any predictor, your scans are gonna be perfect next month.  Wow, it's hard to believe it's almost time for first scans...seems like only yesterday you were having surgery.

It's a beautiful sunny day here in SE Ohio.  Hope you guys are drenched in sunshine too and having a great day!

Sindy

Hi Sindy!

Thank you for the compliments! But I thnk you are way too hard on yourself when you talk about your attitude!! You were one of the first people to respond to me when I first posted on this site. And I was scared! Your advice, encouragement and caring words had a very positive impact on how I looked at this new health issue in my life.

I always look forward to reading what you have to say and never have thought that you could improve your attitude - I consider you to have a great attitude! Look how you fought to get yourself better medical care. I admre that a lot. And I do have my doubts and worries (in fact in my lifetime I have been a horrendous worrier, but I think I might have worried myself out.)

I understand how the bulge bothers you. Mine does sometimes too. It is a constant reminder not only of what we have been through, but a reminder that it can still return. The bulge reveals our vulnerablity. Plus - let's face it - it is hard to hide in a swimsuit! Last Father's Day, I had a really bad fall down the stairs and the most impact was on my left BUTTOCKS (said with a Forest Gump accent). It swelled HUGE (as if it wasn't huge enough!! - and just one side!) - I've still got a big lump in there, just not as big - it may never go away. I remember going to the beach the next month and there was no way I could hide that in a swimsuit - I was embarrassed because it was so bizarre looking. My sons and their girlfriends were with me and my hubby at the beach and even they were shocked to see how big it was! Maybe now with this flank bulge on the other side, it will offset or give my uneven BUTTOCKS an optical illusion of balance!!

I do have my moments of worry and negative attitude though. I have always considered myself a healthy person. And now I reflect back on things and add up my health "incidentals" and I must admit that sometimes I think, out of the 4 siblings, why am I the one getting almost all of it? Plus I survived over 27 years in an abusive marriage, while my 3 sisters had doting and supportive husbands. I still struggle with those issues. But I try to compartmentalize them now. My first husband ruined 27 years of my life, I am not going to let him ruin any more. I now am so happy to be with a kind and patient man and to live the life that I have, so grateful to finally have peace, that sometimes I just feel buoyant and I think I can take on anything! (except weight loss, it seems! LOL)

Once again, I have digressed and rambled. Here's to working through our fears and struggles! We can do it!

Hugs,

Jojo

Jojo61 said:

Way to go, Kris! I am a

Way to go, Kris! I am a newbie here, and appreciate your input. My first scan is coming up next month. Fox, Ron, Nano and many others have helped me to feel more relaxed about it all. I have learned from them that there is more than one way to skin a cat - if something shows up, it can be cut out or treated by the multitude of meds that they have out there. When I tell concerned friends and family that it is something to look at as more of a chronic thing, they seem pleasantly surprised and relaxed. No point wasting time and energy worrying!!

Hugs,

Jojo

 

JoJo:

it is hard to believe you are due for scans; it does seem like you just had the surgery.

My husband just did his second set of CT scans in addition to an MRI and full bone scan yesterday. He has a great attitude and although I stay upbeat and positive for him, the anxiety is horrific.

I actually drove to San Francisco today to pick up the 2 final reports; we were told by the doc that another was preliminary and was good. So, now it is the MRI that will have to wait until Monday..... an eternity.

I would have finalized our trip to Hawaii today if only I had not had my credit card used fraudulently. Now, I have to wait until the replacement arrives on Monday. But, it is great to look forward to Hawaii (even if his scans aren't due again after our return). 

Sarah

Hi Kris,

I loved your positive post! It made me happy and was full encouragement.

Sindy I know its easy to let our fears get the best of us but often the worst part is enduring the fear. I need to remember my own advice here.

Jojo I feel down some steps 10 years ago and had a hematoma that was huge and purple on my butt cheek. I must have damaged the muscle because it left a dent and looks like cellulite on that spot. I share your burden!

-Diana

Srashedb said:

JoJo:
it is hard to believe

JoJo:

it is hard to believe you are due for scans; it does seem like you just had the surgery.

My husband just did his second set of CT scans in addition to an MRI and full bone scan yesterday. He has a great attitude and although I stay upbeat and positive for him, the anxiety is horrific.

I actually drove to San Francisco today to pick up the 2 final reports; we were told by the doc that another was preliminary and was good. So, now it is the MRI that will have to wait until Monday..... an eternity.

I would have finalized our trip to Hawaii today if only I had not had my credit card used fraudulently. Now, I have to wait until the replacement arrives on Monday. But, it is great to look forward to Hawaii (even if his scans aren't due again after our return). 

Sarah

Hi Sarah,

Sorry about your credit card incident  - the challenges never end, do they? However, driving to San Francisco sounds like heaven in itself!

Anxiety is a bit of self torture, isn't it? I hope you will be able to be anxiety-free soon, and the good news continues. When you book your trip, put the MRI results out of your mind. We are all sending our good thoughts your way!

Hugs

Jojo

twinthings said:

thanks for sharing

Kris, thanks for sharing your thoughts. 

It's encouraging to newbies like me, who still, 9 months later, thinks about cancer every. single. day.  Unlike jojo and so many others, my attitude sucks!  Granted, it's getting better, but I still have a long way to go. 

I have such admiration for fellow survivors who are consistently upbeat and positive, whose attitudes work for them vs against them, like mine.  I strive to be more like them but if I said it was easy, I'd be lying. 

The giant bulge in my stomach (a result of my surgery) that prevents any and all of my clothes from fitting properly and comfortably is a constant reminder of my kidney cancer, every day I get dressed.  Will it go away?  Not according to my doctor.  So, I don't see how I will ever again wake up and get dressed and not think about it.  I am thankful to God that my cancer is gone and, I get that whining about the after effects makes me sound ungrateful and pathetic but, to me, the bulge is a BIG problem.  Not as big as cancer, but a problem none the less.  I'm sure some will judge me and think my issues with my bulge are driven by vanity, but they'd be wrong.  They're far deeper than that.  I have no choice but to accept it, now I just have figure out a way to deal with it...graciously.  I'm working on ithat

My attitude has been a work in progress, some days it's better than others.  Your little pep-talk gives me hope!  And, I know that at the end of the day, if my bulge continues to be my biggest hurdle, that makes me one of the lucky ones.

Jojo - you always make me smile!  If attitude is any predictor, your scans are gonna be perfect next month.  Wow, it's hard to believe it's almost time for first scans...seems like only yesterday you were having surgery.

It's a beautiful sunny day here in SE Ohio.  Hope you guys are drenched in sunshine too and having a great day!

Sindy

Hey Sindy, do you think we could get a group discount if we both went in for some liposuction and tummy tuckin'?  I've about had it with my belly bulge, too!  I could, however, being of the 'no-assatall' species, use a rump bump if I could figure out how to get one without falling down the stairs!  I'm just not that into S&M....although M&Ms excite me!  On a brighter note...I have Bwaaaaiiinnnnns! And I have the MRI to prove it! Yay!  And I have HEALTHY brains!  Nothing there that shouldn't be, except some gray hairs growing in there! HaHa!  The tremors, which have gotten worse are what's known as familial essential tremors.  Sounds important, but it just means my legs and arms and hands shake....maybe I could start a new dance craze?

I'm so happy for everyone who has had good results and praying for those who have scans coming up.  I get to have the C/A/P CT next week. Fingers crossed the lung thingies haven't grown....