I'm back with a broken heart and spirit

I am sorry about your wife. I don't have the same situation but I want to let you know that we are here for you and your wife. Prayers are always there.

I have faith your wife will be well. Please remember to take care of yourself while you care for her. I can't imagine the fear you must feel after having to face this once, and now again, but your wife will recover.

Please keep us posted.

I know how heartbreaking it must be to go through all that once again.

Big hugs, Carmen

Hi Dennis, my second recurrance was in the sentinel node on chest wall and clavical.  It occurred 6 months after I finished treatment.  I was treated agressively with 18 more chemo treatments adn 10 more weeks rads.  This all happened in 1998, I remained cancer free for 9 years had a recurrance in 2007, mastectomy on the "good" side, four more chemos and I have been cancer free since.   My message to you is please have HOPE, until we are gone there is always HOPE!  Lace up those battle boots and believe she will survive even thrive once this is all said and done!  You do not mention what stage she is, I was a 4 but am still here and have been for a long time since that diagnosis.  It may be a rough road but she can survive it!  For me my husband was my rock  I'm betting you are hers!  Sending my prayers and a hug for your lovley wife!

Hi! 

I had bc in 1999 with chemo and mast. It recurred in 2001. My "breast cancer specialist" told me to get my things in order. I got a new dr. I had radiation treatments and a hyst to get rid of hormones. I was NED until last year. Drs were treating me for adult asthema which was actually lung cancer. They also found a lesion on my spine and spot on my hip. I was devastated. I took Xyloda and my tumor markers went up (55, 62, 78) so after a few months of that my Onc put me on Arimidex and my numbers went down and now for about 6 months or so my numbers are stable (25) each month and i also take Xgeva for my bone cancer (which is stable now) and  i think it is a great drug! My last scans were stable and my Onc said I was once again in remission.

Never give up hope. I hope and pray your wife will get treated and be able to enjoy remission. There are so many people on here who have battled many many years, and that means people are living longer!!!! 

God bless!

dthompson said:

Thank you so much, we got the

Thank you so much, we got the PET results today and a small spread to the femur and colon but nothing bad, Onc says it is very early and manageable. We find out what treatment she gets next week. It was very hard hearing stage 4 . I know we can't cure it but hopefully we can manage it. God bless.

 

Dennis

Hi Dennis,

 I am very sorry. Yes it is very hard to learn about stage IV.  I got similar news in June of 2012, while initially  was diagnosed in 2008.  My doctor has been optimistic and very encouraging and it did help me to overcome stage IV diagnosis. She also suggested continue working to keep a normal lifestyle. While the cancer is estrogen positive it is behaive as TN. I had Chemo Xeloda for 8 months, which helped my bones and then experimental treatment, I am currentely on anti-estrogen shots and Xgeva . Please keep hope, especially as your doctor is a very positive about outcome. Rena always inspire me keep going.

Good luck and let us know

New Flower

dthompson said:

Thank you so much for the

Thank you so much for the words of encouragement. We will find out next week what her treatment will be. She is not handleing it well. She seems very depressed which is understandable. She also thinks she is going to die. I am trying to be encouraging and convince her that we all are going to die and no on e knows when so lets enjoy everyday and treat ti like it is our last. She just wants to stay in bed and do nothing. This is very hard on me. I know that if I felt like I was going to die I would want to go out with my tail on fire not curled up in a ball of depression. I don't know if I should leave her alone or continually try to encourage her to get up and lets start living

If can PM me if you like. I got a lot of encouragement from members of this board. Very inspiring stories. usually the mind is spiining out when you heard stage IV. The worse thing for me was to be alone, it was very devastating anf hard getting over  wothout help. Both My husband and son cheered me up pretenting that it was another bump on the road nothing more. There are things she love to do. try use it to intertain her. It took me several weeks to get over the news, then life came back with all of its beuty and challenges. 

Hugs

dthompson said:

Hi Re thanks for the reply.

Hi Re thanks for the reply. We got the PET results today and she has a small spread to the colon and left femur but the Dr says it is very early. No spread to any vital organs, all are clear. She was stage 2 when initally diagnosed but now is stage 4 we just hope to be able to mange this and get her into remission. I know we can't cure this but hopefully we can mange it as it is early. God bless

 

Dennis

Hi Dennis,

Just a quick note---by definition, all metastized cancer is a stage 4, so don't let the numbers throw you.  It's just that, a number.

I'm 6 years out and am on chemo again for mets---but this is where all the research and amazing new treatments are used.  They have a zillion tricks up their sleeves that they can use, with more every day.  I've been on both ends of care, as the patient, and the main care giver, and I can tell you, by far, it's MUCH harder to be in your shoes than your wife's.  Sounds funny, but every one I've spoken with (including my husband, aka, my rock)agrees.

Ask lots of questions, and keep asking until you have an answer that fits your question, and write down the answers because even though you'll both be in the same room with the Dr., you'll both hear things differently.

Good luck, you've done it once before, and there's nothing like experience as a great teacher.  That means, you'll be an awesome support this time around.

Keep us posted.

Jan