(BBPD) Funny Bonz 2014
Comments
-
Words of wisdom...SEX AT 73I just took a
leaflet out of my mailbox,
informing me that I can
have sex at 73I'm so happy, because I live at
number 71.
So it's not too far to walk home
afterwards.
And
it's the same side of the street.
I don't even have
to cross the road!~~~~~
Answering machine
message,
"I am not available right now,
but
thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making
some changes in my life.
Please leave a message
after the beep.
If I do not return your
call,
you are one of the
changes."
~~~~~
My wife and I had
words, but I didn't get to use
mine.
~~~~~
Frustration is trying to
find your glasses without your
glasses.
~~~~~
Blessed are those who can
give without remembering
and take without
forgetting.
~~~~~
The
irony of life is that,
by the time you're old
enough to know your way around,
you're not going
anywhere.
~~~~~
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
~~~~~
I was
always taught to respect my elders,
but it keeps
getting harder to find one.
~~~~~
Every
morning is the dawn of a new
error.
~~~~~Aspire to inspire before
you expire.0 -
He's Baaaack...!!! Thosegarym said:Words of wisdom...
SEX AT 73I just took a
leaflet out of my mailbox,
informing me that I can
have sex at 73I'm so happy, because I live at
number 71.
So it's not too far to walk home
afterwards.
And
it's the same side of the street.
I don't even have
to cross the road!~~~~~
Answering machine
message,
"I am not available right now,
but
thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making
some changes in my life.
Please leave a message
after the beep.
If I do not return your
call,
you are one of the
changes."
~~~~~
My wife and I had
words, but I didn't get to use
mine.
~~~~~
Frustration is trying to
find your glasses without your
glasses.
~~~~~
Blessed are those who can
give without remembering
and take without
forgetting.
~~~~~
The
irony of life is that,
by the time you're old
enough to know your way around,
you're not going
anywhere.
~~~~~
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
~~~~~
I was
always taught to respect my elders,
but it keeps
getting harder to find one.
~~~~~
Every
morning is the dawn of a new
error.
~~~~~Aspire to inspire before
you expire.He's Baaaack...!!! Those pictures do not show up for me.. booo....
Ron
0 -
Ron,GSRon said:He's Baaaack...!!! Those
He's Baaaack...!!! Those pictures do not show up for me.. booo....
Ron
aren't you supposed to be working now? Don't get caught or you may lose your job in oh, about 1 day. You'll become poor and will have to ride your motorcycle to save on gas.
0 -
A taste of Russian dark humor (translated by me)
Since I was diagnosed with ED I discovered how interesting the world is: there are books, theaters, movies, parks...
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++I’ve watched so much porn that from time to time I see familiar faces on the public transit.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
- Mom, my lips are chapped!- Told you, it’s winter, wear long johns
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
When I was young a genie offered me a choice: excellent memory or a giant penis. I no longer can remember what I chose.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A large icicle fell off the roof and killed the guy. The coroner at the morgue stopped for a minute to think about the cause of death, then smiled and wrote: “Springtime”
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++The guy is riding down in the elevator and mumbling:
Gemini? No
Virgo? No
Scorpio? No. I can’t remember what it was...
Stops on the ground floor, presses number 27 and rides back up.
Walks along the hallway, opens the door:
- Doctor, what was that thing you told me?
- Cancer, my friend, cancer…
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++Baby turtle is trying to climb up the palm tree, but failing. He is stubbornly clawing his way up, falls down, scratches his shell, falls down again, hurts his little tail, cries, starts climbing up again, breaks a nail on his little leg, with his last strength grabs onto the tree with his teeth, trying to pull himself up.
A pair of monkeys watches him.
- I think, says one monkey, it’s time to tell our son that he is adopted.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Two old women are walking home on the side of the rode from the hay field. Two bikers fly by them at high speed, one after another. Both have no heads.
“Are they making a movie here or something?” asks the first woman
The other one replies: “Maybe you should stay out of harm's way and carry your scythe on the other shoulder”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The lady has to walk home through the spooky cemetery at night and she is scared. She sees a guy, asks him to walk with her. They walk together; the man is telling hilarious jokes, the woman is laughing and tells him: “You are too funny!” The guy say: “That’s nothing, you should’ve seen me when I was alive…”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The patient is waking up after surgery.
- Doctor I’m touching my legs and I can’t feel them
- Don’t worry, it’s because we amputated your hands.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++Surgeon specializing in transplants is cheering up his patient: “Just wait a little longer, New Year is near! Everyone will get drunk, start walking and driving around under influence. You know how many people will die! You will definitely get your new kidney!”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++Things you don’t want to hear on the operating table:
- Wow!
- Anyone seen my watch?
- Why did I have to get so wasted yesterday?
- Who ripped 5 pages out of the manual?
- Give it back! Bad dog!!!
- Oops! I think he already had children.
- Hurry up! The game starts in 20 minutes
- Nurse! Give me this…whatchamacallit… that thingie over there… forget it
- If that was appendix, then what the hell is this?
- ****, not the power outage again!
- Everyone back off! I lost a contact lens.
- That’s OK, everyone learns from their mistakes
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The guy with a knife stuck in his back gets wheeled into the ER. The doctor asks:
- Does it hurt?
Patient:
- Only when I laugh.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++- Doctor, will operation be under local or general anaesthesia ?
- Patient, don’t be a ****. Finish your second glass of vodka and crawl to the OR!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++Quiet evening. The family is having tea and watching TV. Doorbell rings. Mother gets up to answer the door.
On the porch stands a large gloomy guy with 2 little coffins under his arms. He asks:
- Have you sent your kids to the summer camp?
- (Clutching at her chest) Aaaaaaaaaaah…oh God, no!!!
- (Handing her little coffins) Here, they made presents for you in the wood shop
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++The guy wakes up in the hospital room after surgery and asks his doctor:
- Doctor, what happened to me? I have no memory. Was there an accident?
- Yes, yesterday you were run over by a train.
- So am I at the hospital?
- Well, for the most part.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Voices in OR:
- We are losing him! We are losing him! We lost him…
Voice from above:
- It’s OK, we got him.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Surgeon is a well-armed therapist
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Viewing at the funeral home. A sweaty out-of-breath guy runs in, comes up to the casket and drops something in.
“What happened?” – asks another mourner.
“I’ve been all over town. Couldn’t find flowers anywhere. Got him a box of chocolates…”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++Stop yelling at me! You are impossible to please! I got you exactly what you asked for! How was I supposed to know that ladyfingers are pastry!
0 -
Grizzly attack...Woman Stops Grizzly Attack With 25 Caliber Pistol !
This is a story of self-control and marksmanship with an "itsy bitsy shooter" by a woman facing a fierce predator. What is the smallest caliber you trust to protect yourself?
The 25 cal. Beretta Jetfire:
Here's her story:While out hiking in Alberta Canada with my husband we were surprised by a huge grizzly bear charging at us from out of nowhere. She must have been protecting her cubs because she was extremely aggressive.If I had not had my little Beretta Jetfire with me I would not be here today!
Just one shot to my husband's knee cap was all it took.
The bear got him and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace.It's one of the best pistols in my collection.
0 -
Today's word is................. FluctuationsI was at my bank today; there was a short line.There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was tryingto exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated . . .She asked the teller:"Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen.Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said:"Fluctuations."The Asian lady says:"Fluc you white people too"0 -
The Super Bowl...
A man had 50 yard line tickets for the Super Bowl.
As he sat down, he noticed that the seat next to him was empty.
He asked the man on the other side of the empty seat whether anyone was sitting there.
"No," the man replied, "The seat is empty."
"This is incredible," said the first man.
"Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl, the biggest sporting event in the world and not use it?"
The second man replied, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This will be the first Super bowl we haven't been together since we got married in 1967."
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else -- a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"
The man shook his head. "No, they're all at the funeral."
0 -
Happy mealgarym said:The Super Bowl...
A man had 50 yard line tickets for the Super Bowl.
As he sat down, he noticed that the seat next to him was empty.
He asked the man on the other side of the empty seat whether anyone was sitting there.
"No," the man replied, "The seat is empty."
"This is incredible," said the first man.
"Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl, the biggest sporting event in the world and not use it?"
The second man replied, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This will be the first Super bowl we haven't been together since we got married in 1967."
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else -- a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"
The man shook his head. "No, they're all at the funeral."
I may have posted this in the past. But so many new people so here goes...
A biker is sitting in Mcdonalds having lunch. He watches as an old man and his wife come in to the golden arches. She takes a seat next to the biker. Her husband goes up and orders the food. The biker watches as the old man opens the bag. First, he tears a napkin in half. He places one piece in front of him, and the other in front of her. Then he carefully cuts the burger in half. He puts one half on her napkin and the other on his. Then he separates the fries into 2 equal piles and gives her her share. He then pours the soda into 2 equal amounts and gives her her half. Seeing this the biker thinks they must be pretty poor. So he speaks up and says, "I would be honored if you let me buy each of you your own meal." The old woman says, "That is very kind of you but my husband and I share everything. So, no thank you." Thinking he now understands, the biker goes back to eating his meal. Out of the corner of his eye, he watches as the old man eats his half of the burger. Then his half of the fries. As he drinks his half of the soda, the biker notices that all the while the old lady is just sitting there not touching her half of the food. His curiosity starts getting the best of him so he leans over and asks the old lady,"I understand wanting to share your food, but why aren't you eating?" The old lady says, "I'm just waiting for my turn to use the teeth."
0 -
Balls...INTERESTING OBSERVATION1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.2. The sport of choice for blue collar level employees is BOWLING.3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.And...6. The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.
THE AMAZING CONCLUSION:The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.There must be a boat load of people in Washington playing marbles. (More like BB's)0 -
The Dategarym said:Balls...
INTERESTING OBSERVATION1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.2. The sport of choice for blue collar level employees is BOWLING.3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.And...6. The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.
THE AMAZING CONCLUSION:The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.There must be a boat load of people in Washington playing marbles. (More like BB's)So, this guy takes this gal out on a date to the local fair. He is trying to show her a good time... they stop off at the ring toss, do a few rides.. Then he asks her what she would like to do.. She replies.. "I want to get weighed.." OK so he takes her to one of those scales that gives a fortune.. They then go on a few more rides. He again asks what she would like to do next.. She says... "I want to get weighed.." OK so he repeats the scale routine. they do a few more rides and he asks a third time... Her reply is the same.
OK the guy figures he is with a dud and takes her home... Her sister asks if she had a good time... Her reply.... Wousy..!!"
Ron
0 -
Hilarious!GSRon said:The Date
So, this guy takes this gal out on a date to the local fair. He is trying to show her a good time... they stop off at the ring toss, do a few rides.. Then he asks her what she would like to do.. She replies.. "I want to get weighed.." OK so he takes her to one of those scales that gives a fortune.. They then go on a few more rides. He again asks what she would like to do next.. She says... "I want to get weighed.." OK so he repeats the scale routine. they do a few more rides and he asks a third time... Her reply is the same.
OK the guy figures he is with a dud and takes her home... Her sister asks if she had a good time... Her reply.... Wousy..!!"
Ron
Hahahahha, where do you guys get these from? They're hilarious! Definitely needed a laugh today. Thanks for sharing
but I can't see the pictures either! This was funny translating back into Chinese for my mom she enjoyed it very much, I read some to her on our train ride back from our appointment with the radiation oncologist!0 -
Apple does it again...garym said:Ain't this the truth...
The guys at the golf course asked me to name an actress I would like to be stuck with in an elevator.I told them the one who knows how to fix elevators.I'm old, I'm tired, and I have to pee a lot.Apple Computer announced today that it has developed
a computer chip that can store and play high fidelity
music in women's breast implants.
The iTit will cost between $499.00 and $699.00
depending on speaker size.
This is considered to be a major breakthrough because
women have always complained about men staring
at their breasts and not listening to them.0 -
Golf Quotes...garym said:Apple does it again...
Apple Computer announced today that it has developed
a computer chip that can store and play high fidelity
music in women's breast implants.
The iTit will cost between $499.00 and $699.00
depending on speaker size.
This is considered to be a major breakthrough because
women have always complained about men staring
at their breasts and not listening to them.1. These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.
~ Sam Snead
2. I was three over today: One over a house, one over a patio and one over a swimming pool..
~ George Brett
3. Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that.
~ Jim Murray
4. The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie.
~ Mickey Mantle
5. Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them.
~ Kevin Costner
6. I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par.
~ Chi Chi Rodriguez
7. After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.
~ Chi Chi Rodriguez
8. The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.
~ Brian Wiese
9. Swing hard in case you hit it.
~ Dan Marino
10. My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered.
~ Lord Robertson
11. Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
~ Jack Benny
12. There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.
~ Ben Hogan
13. Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best.
~ Jack Nicklaus
14. The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a law.
~ H. G. Wells
15. I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course.
~ Billy Graham
16. If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.
~ Bob Hope
17. While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
~ Henny Youngman
18. If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
~ Jack Lemmon
19. You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
~ Lee Trevino
20. I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.
~ Lee Trevino0 -
Sex and Good Grammargarym said:Golf Quotes...
1. These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.
~ Sam Snead
2. I was three over today: One over a house, one over a patio and one over a swimming pool..
~ George Brett
3. Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that.
~ Jim Murray
4. The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie.
~ Mickey Mantle
5. Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them.
~ Kevin Costner
6. I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par.
~ Chi Chi Rodriguez
7. After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.
~ Chi Chi Rodriguez
8. The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.
~ Brian Wiese
9. Swing hard in case you hit it.
~ Dan Marino
10. My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered.
~ Lord Robertson
11. Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
~ Jack Benny
12. There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.
~ Ben Hogan
13. Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best.
~ Jack Nicklaus
14. The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a law.
~ H. G. Wells
15. I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course.
~ Billy Graham
16. If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.
~ Bob Hope
17. While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
~ Henny Youngman
18. If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
~ Jack Lemmon
19. You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
~ Lee Trevino
20. I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.
~ Lee TrevinoOn his 70th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife.
The certificate was for consultation with an Indian medicine man living on a
nearby reservation who was rumored to have a simple cure for erectile dysfunction!
The husband went to the reservation and saw the medicine man.
The old Indian gave him a potion and with a grip on his shoulder warned,
'This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful, and then say
'1-2-3.'
When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform for as long as you want."
The man thanked the old Indian and as he walked away, he turned and asked,
"How do I stop the medicine from working?"
"Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,' he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."
He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom.
When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!"Immediately, he was the manliest of men. His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and then she asked,
"What was the 1-2-3 for?"
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.
0 -
Bohemian Rhapsody - by GSRNanoSecond said:Sex and Good Grammar
On his 70th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife.
The certificate was for consultation with an Indian medicine man living on a
nearby reservation who was rumored to have a simple cure for erectile dysfunction!
The husband went to the reservation and saw the medicine man.
The old Indian gave him a potion and with a grip on his shoulder warned,
'This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful, and then say
'1-2-3.'
When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform for as long as you want."
The man thanked the old Indian and as he walked away, he turned and asked,
"How do I stop the medicine from working?"
"Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,' he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."
He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom.
When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!"Immediately, he was the manliest of men. His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and then she asked,
"What was the 1-2-3 for?"
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.
OK, those of you old time rock fans.. remember Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen..? Well here are my modified lyrics... No Mama Mia here...
I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me.
He's just a poor boy from a poor family,
Spare him his life from this monstrosity,
Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?
No, we will not let you go.
Will not elt you go
Will not let you go.
Never, never let youi go
No no no no no no no.
OH, DIARRHEA, DIARRHEA (DIARRHEA LET ME GO.)
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me....!
0 -
Five Horses...GSRon said:Bohemian Rhapsody - by GSR
OK, those of you old time rock fans.. remember Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen..? Well here are my modified lyrics... No Mama Mia here...
I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me.
He's just a poor boy from a poor family,
Spare him his life from this monstrosity,
Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?
No, we will not let you go.
Will not elt you go
Will not let you go.
Never, never let youi go
No no no no no no no.
OH, DIARRHEA, DIARRHEA (DIARRHEA LET ME GO.)
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me....!
This is mythical ans deep...Truly Beautiful...
A man asked an old American Indian what his wife's name was?
He replied "She is called Five Horses."
The man sais "That's an unusual name for a wife. What does it mean?"
The old Indian replied "Its a very old and revered Indian name given only to those women proven most worthy."
"It means...
Wait for it...
"NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG!"
0 -
Facinating trivia...
Glass takes one million years to decompose, which means it never wears out and can be recycled an infinite amount of times!
Gold is the only metal that doesn't rust, even if it's buried in the ground for thousands of years.
Your tongue is the only muscle in your body that is attached at only one end.
If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. When a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.
Zero is the only number that cannot be represented by Roman numerals.
Kites were used in the American Civil War to deliver letters and newspapers.
The song, Auld Lang Syne, is sung at the stroke of midnight in almost every English-speaking country in the world to bring in the new year.
Drinking water after eating reduces the acid in your mouth by 61 percent.
Peanut oil is used for cooking in submarines because it doesn't smoke unless it's heated above 450F.
The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear.
Nine out of every 10 living things live in the ocean.
The banana cannot reproduce itself. It can be propagated only by the hand of man.
Airports at higher altitudes require a longer airstrip due to lower air density.
The University of Alaska spans four time zones.
The tooth is the only part of the human body that cannot heal itself.
In ancient Greece , tossing an apple to a girl was a traditional proposal of marriage. Catching it meant she accepted.
Warner Communications paid $28 million for the copyright to the song Happy Birthday.
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
A comet's tail always points away from the sun.
The Swine Flu vaccine in 1976 caused more death and illness than the disease it was intended to prevent.
Caffeine increases the power of aspirin and other painkillers, that is why it is found in some medicines.
The military salute is a motion that evolved from medieval times, when knights in armor raised their visors to reveal their identity.
If you get into the bottom of a well or a tall chimney and look up, you can see stars, even in the middle of the day.
When a person dies, hearing is the last sense to go. The first sense lost is sight.
In ancient times strangers shook hands to show that they were unarmed.
Strawberries are the only fruits whose seeds grow on the outside.
Avocados have the highest calories of any fruit at 167 calories per hundred grams.
The moon moves about two inches away from the Earth each year.
The Earth gets 100 tons heavier every day due to falling space dust.
Due to earth's gravity it is impossible for mountains to be higher than 15,000 meters.
Mickey Mouse is known as "Topolino" in Italy ..
Soldiers do not march in step when going across bridges because they could set up a vibration which could be sufficient to knock the bridge down.
Everything weighs one percent less at the equator.
For every extra kilogram carried on a space flight, 530 kg of excess fuel are needed at lift-off.
The letter J does not appear anywhere on the periodic table of the elements.0 -
GUN CONTROL AT GANDER MOUNTAIN -this is crazygarym said:Facinating trivia...
Glass takes one million years to decompose, which means it never wears out and can be recycled an infinite amount of times!
Gold is the only metal that doesn't rust, even if it's buried in the ground for thousands of years.
Your tongue is the only muscle in your body that is attached at only one end.
If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. When a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.
Zero is the only number that cannot be represented by Roman numerals.
Kites were used in the American Civil War to deliver letters and newspapers.
The song, Auld Lang Syne, is sung at the stroke of midnight in almost every English-speaking country in the world to bring in the new year.
Drinking water after eating reduces the acid in your mouth by 61 percent.
Peanut oil is used for cooking in submarines because it doesn't smoke unless it's heated above 450F.
The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear.
Nine out of every 10 living things live in the ocean.
The banana cannot reproduce itself. It can be propagated only by the hand of man.
Airports at higher altitudes require a longer airstrip due to lower air density.
The University of Alaska spans four time zones.
The tooth is the only part of the human body that cannot heal itself.
In ancient Greece , tossing an apple to a girl was a traditional proposal of marriage. Catching it meant she accepted.
Warner Communications paid $28 million for the copyright to the song Happy Birthday.
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
A comet's tail always points away from the sun.
The Swine Flu vaccine in 1976 caused more death and illness than the disease it was intended to prevent.
Caffeine increases the power of aspirin and other painkillers, that is why it is found in some medicines.
The military salute is a motion that evolved from medieval times, when knights in armor raised their visors to reveal their identity.
If you get into the bottom of a well or a tall chimney and look up, you can see stars, even in the middle of the day.
When a person dies, hearing is the last sense to go. The first sense lost is sight.
In ancient times strangers shook hands to show that they were unarmed.
Strawberries are the only fruits whose seeds grow on the outside.
Avocados have the highest calories of any fruit at 167 calories per hundred grams.
The moon moves about two inches away from the Earth each year.
The Earth gets 100 tons heavier every day due to falling space dust.
Due to earth's gravity it is impossible for mountains to be higher than 15,000 meters.
Mickey Mouse is known as "Topolino" in Italy ..
Soldiers do not march in step when going across bridges because they could set up a vibration which could be sufficient to knock the bridge down.
Everything weighs one percent less at the equator.
For every extra kilogram carried on a space flight, 530 kg of excess fuel are needed at lift-off.
The letter J does not appear anywhere on the periodic table of the elements.It has already started at Gander Mountain Sporting Goods.
When I was ready to pay for my purchases of gun powder and bullets, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."
Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed.When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card-reader.
I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.
They need to make their instructions to us older guys a little clearer.0
Discussion Boards
- All Discussion Boards
- 6 CSN Information
- 6 Welcome to CSN
- 121.8K Cancer specific
- 2.8K Anal Cancer
- 446 Bladder Cancer
- 309 Bone Cancers
- 1.6K Brain Cancer
- 28.5K Breast Cancer
- 397 Childhood Cancers
- 27.9K Colorectal Cancer
- 4.6K Esophageal Cancer
- 1.2K Gynecological Cancers (other than ovarian and uterine)
- 13K Head and Neck Cancer
- 6.4K Kidney Cancer
- 671 Leukemia
- 792 Liver Cancer
- 4.1K Lung Cancer
- 5.1K Lymphoma (Hodgkin and Non-Hodgkin)
- 237 Multiple Myeloma
- 7.1K Ovarian Cancer
- 61 Pancreatic Cancer
- 487 Peritoneal Cancer
- 5.5K Prostate Cancer
- 1.2K Rare and Other Cancers
- 539 Sarcoma
- 730 Skin Cancer
- 653 Stomach Cancer
- 191 Testicular Cancer
- 1.5K Thyroid Cancer
- 5.8K Uterine/Endometrial Cancer
- 6.3K Lifestyle Discussion Boards