The day before surgery

Phil64
Phil64 Member Posts: 838 Member
in Colorectal Cancer #1

I didn't sleep as long as I would have hoped for. Woke up a couple of hours ago And it's only 4:30am.  I worked over 12 hours yesterday trying to prepare for another long absence from work. And on my drive home from an exhausting day my thoughts were taking me to some slippery slopes. 

I started to think that this surgery came up so quickly for me. They say that time flies by when you're having fun. Well I must be having a lot of fun cause time seems to be rolling by too quick. When I was young a year seemed so long. Now the years seem to go by in a blink of an eye. And I think that fighting cancer may actually increase this perceived acceleration of time exponentially.

I celebrated 50 years at the end of January and now I'm wondering just how long I have left. Am I living the final chapters of my life? And on the day before another surgery I worry it could be the final paragraphs if the last chapter. 

But then comes the morning. The realization. None of us know when the end will come.

And the point of life is to enjoy our time together now. Enjoy today. While we can hold each other and comfort one another.

So that will be my focus. As I go about this day. I will focus on Loving my wife and children. I will pay extra attention to all the people in my life and try to connect with each of them. Listening to what is in their hearts. 

Peace and Love to all my friends and fellow warriors on CSN.

Philip

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Comments

  • Chelsea71
    Chelsea71 Member Posts: 1,169 Member
    #2
    I know what you mean about

    I know what you mean about time passing quickly.  The years that Steve was sick whizzed by so fast.   The whole thing seems like a blur to me.  There was always something coming up.  A scan, surgery, chemo....time flew.  Now that he is gone...time passes so slowly.  It will be six months tomorrow and it feels like an eternity.  Each day creeps along.  It does make me think of the expression, time flies when you're having fun.  I guess I just didn't realize I was having fun.  

    Sounds like you have a really good attitude towards life.  The same outlook we should all have regardless of our health situation.

    I think this surgery is going to go well and I suspect you will soon have a whole new lease on life.  Best of luck to you.  Please update when you can.  I have a really good feling........

  • janderson1964
    janderson1964 Member Posts: 2,215 Member
    #3
    Its amazing what cancer can

    Its amazing what cancer can do to a person. All of your words hit home. I have experienced  all of the same thoughts.

    I have been praying for a successful surgery all week. Please let us know how you are doing as soon as you are able to post.

  • jen2012
    jen2012 Member Posts: 1,607 Member
    #4
    Good post Phil - best of

    Good post Phil - best of luck.  Looking forward to a good update!

  • LivinginNH
    LivinginNH Member Posts: 1,456 Member
    #5
     
    So True, a cancer diagnosis

     

    So True, a cancer diagnosis really does change one's attitude towards life and how we life it.  How I used to worry about things that I couldn't care less about now. 

    Best wishes for a successful surgery tomorrow!

    Hugs,

    Cynthia

  • johnnybegood
    johnnybegood Member Posts: 1,117 Member
    #6
    LivinginNH said:

     
    So True, a cancer diagnosis

     

    So True, a cancer diagnosis really does change one's attitude towards life and how we life it.  How I used to worry about things that I couldn't care less about now. 

    Best wishes for a successful surgery tomorrow!

    Hugs,

    Cynthia

    just wanted to

    say good luck with your surgery and may Gods hand lead your surgens hand and a speedy recovery.,,Godbless...johnnybegood

  • herdizziness
    herdizziness Member Posts: 3,624 Member
    #7
    Phil

    good luck on your surgery.  I've had two liver surgeries front and back of liver and it was fairly easy recovery, so wishing you the same!!

    Winter Marie

  • devotion10
    devotion10 Member Posts: 623 Member
    #8
    Philip ...

    I have been thinking so much about you, your family, and your upcoming surgery. Your comments -- Enjoy today. While we can hold each other and comfort one another. -- We should all take to heart.

    Peace and continued strength. ~ Cynthia

     

     

     

  • BigMike
    BigMike Member Posts: 17
    #9
    herdizziness said:

    Phil

    good luck on your surgery.  I've had two liver surgeries front and back of liver and it was fairly easy recovery, so wishing you the same!!

    Winter Marie

    Good Luck Phil!!!

    It sounds like you've been through it with this friggin cancer stuff.  If you are getting a liver resection tomarrow just know it's not as rough as a colon resection, at least mine wasn't. I had mets on my liver and the surgeon lopped off half my liver and my gallbladder and honestly I don't miss any of it.  I can't tell the difference from the before and after, except the scars.  Good luck, let us know how it goes.

  • Trubrit
    Trubrit Member Posts: 5,804 Member
    #10
    Thinking of you Phil

    Today's the day, and I'm hoping that by now you're out of surgery and on the road to more recovery. 

    Can't wait - but will - to hear from you again. 

  • danker
    danker Member Posts: 1,276 Member
    #11
    Phil

    You are just a kid !!!  Wait 'til you are in your 80's like me and you will realy see time fly.  When my father was in his late 80's he used to say " it seems like Christmas comes every month." LOL

  • fatbob2010
    fatbob2010 Member Posts: 467 Member
    #12
    Great Post

    Phil that was a great post and I can not agree more.  Here's to rapid and pain free recovery.  Art

  • Meowycat
    Meowycat Member Posts: 66
    #13
    Good Luck with your surgery

    Good Luck with your surgery and may you have a speedy recovery.

     

    Nellie

  • annalexandria
    annalexandria Member Posts: 2,571 Member
    #14
    Words of wisdom, Phil, truly.

    I'll be thinking of you as you go through this surgery tomorrow, and sending tons of strength and hopes for success your way.

    No reason this can't be the one that kicks the cancer to the curb for once and for all...took me five go-rounds myself to get to an extended period of NED (not sure I'll ever use the "c" word, no matter how far out I get).  Wishing that this will be the last surgery for you as well, and that nothing but a return to good health is in your future.

    Keep us posted~AA

  • Helen321
    Helen321 Member Posts: 1,460 Member
    #15
    Phil

    Your exact words to me were this is not a death sentence and so you get them back!  This is not a death sentence.  Surgery is part of the treatment, the part that sucks and so you keep on going!  That is an order.  I give orders better than any doctor.  I hope the next few days go quickly.  Sometimes it's a good thing.  Now I need to get back to my liquid breakfast/lunch/dinner.  Joy joy.

  • Phil64
    Phil64 Member Posts: 838 Member
    #16
    Trubrit said:

    Thinking of you Phil

    Today's the day, and I'm hoping that by now you're out of surgery and on the road to more recovery. 

    Can't wait - but will - to hear from you again. 

    Tomorrow, 2/7 at 1pm

    Surgery is tomorrow at 1 pm.  so I'm reading and posting tonight. :-)

  • Phil64
    Phil64 Member Posts: 838 Member
    #17
    Thank you all so much

    And I will pull through this one just fine. I really appreciate the voices on this forum. You know what I'm going through and you know how I feel and that is a wonderful thing. I am fighting along with you all. I'll be posting soon. love to you all tonight.

  • Phil64
    Phil64 Member Posts: 838 Member
    #18
    Helen321 said:

    Phil

    Your exact words to me were this is not a death sentence and so you get them back!  This is not a death sentence.  Surgery is part of the treatment, the part that sucks and so you keep on going!  That is an order.  I give orders better than any doctor.  I hope the next few days go quickly.  Sometimes it's a good thing.  Now I need to get back to my liquid breakfast/lunch/dinner.  Joy joy.

    Thank you Joy

    I'm in it to win it! And another surgery is a beautiful weapon in this war. And we just don't know... It might be a key battle that sends the cancer into remission. Bless you.

  • Phil64
    Phil64 Member Posts: 838 Member
    #19
    annalexandria said:

    Words of wisdom, Phil, truly.

    I'll be thinking of you as you go through this surgery tomorrow, and sending tons of strength and hopes for success your way.

    No reason this can't be the one that kicks the cancer to the curb for once and for all...took me five go-rounds myself to get to an extended period of NED (not sure I'll ever use the "c" word, no matter how far out I get).  Wishing that this will be the last surgery for you as well, and that nothing but a return to good health is in your future.

    Keep us posted~AA

    AA

    Thank you for sharing your experience. I do take great hope. Maybe this one is the key one for me.

  • Phil64
    Phil64 Member Posts: 838 Member
    #20
    danker said:

    Phil

    You are just a kid !!!  Wait 'til you are in your 80's like me and you will realy see time fly.  When my father was in his late 80's he used to say " it seems like Christmas comes every month." LOL

    :-)

    Laughing

    i love this post the most. Great big smile! 

  • Phil64
    Phil64 Member Posts: 838 Member
    #21
    johnnybegood said:

    just wanted to

    say good luck with your surgery and may Gods hand lead your surgens hand and a speedy recovery.,,Godbless...johnnybegood

    JBG, God Bless You too. Thank

    JBG, God Bless You too. Thank you so much for your prayers. I so hope you are doing better and I am still praying for you too. BIG HUG!!!

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