GaryM

foxhd said:

All you need

is a tent and sleeping bag. Everything else is available. June 20,21,22. Non stop beer, music, motorcycles, and whatever else you want. Sort of a Woodstock for bikers. If drunken naked people offend you, not the place for you. Extroverts do well. You guys would fit right in. It's a long ride Ron....or you can fly to toronto....

Alexandra said:

Awesome

Americade sounds like a place to be. Drunken naked people inspire me. Unfortunately I don't own a bike. I have a friend with Yamaha, 1980 Camaro and a mullet who will probably be available because he just got laid off. Would they let him in, or is it Harley crowd only?

Ron, you have the best bodily functions jokes! I hope GaryM returns and brings back his more sophisticated humor.

Let's see...   I have been called:  Ron the Late and a few other things... so why not Ron the Tramp..?

Wonder if I could make that shin dig...  June 2-7..  here is a link..  http://www.americade.com/

Ron

Alexandra said:

Awesome

Americade sounds like a place to be. Drunken naked people inspire me. Unfortunately I don't own a bike. I have a friend with Yamaha, 1980 Camaro and a mullet who will probably be available because he just got laid off. Would they let him in, or is it Harley crowd only?

Ron, you have the best bodily functions jokes! I hope GaryM returns and brings back his more sophisticated humor.

That is a Honda Goldwing crowd. Too reserved. Or is it mature? We don't go there..... What I'm talking about is a private party. With thousands of people. Ten years ago if you didn't have a Harley or if you didn't look and act like a biker at this place, you could be quite intimidated. You had to walk the walk, talk the talk. But now we are getting older. Average age is still probably 50-55 , but the younger crowd is much less hardcore Harley. You can ride a Yamaha or take a car. There are lots of motorhomes too. This place is BIG.

Alexandra said:

Never heard of St C Day, but hedonism is my middle name

Cancer limerics for you Ron. I lifted them from the 27-year-old Hodgkin's survivor's blog because I liked them. I hope he doesn't mind.

A young male’s member was discharging,
So straight to his doc he went charging.
But the tests all went bad
He had cancer, poor lad.
Now his lymph nodes’re all that’s enlarging.

Cancer can become quite a grind,
Just to keep up the presence of mind
Not to torture or maim
Those twits who exclaim
“What luck! Isn’t that the good kind?”

My body was acting erratic;
Of a sickness I seemed symptomatic.
Diagnostical tells
Revealed renegade cells
Had invaded my system lymphatic.

A tumor-struck mosquito toured
‘Round the confines of my cancer ward.
He filled himself in a flood
With my chemo blood,
And like that! the lil’ bugger was cured.

The limerick’s a form metronomical
For bemoaning the flaws biological
That pile up in each cell
‘Til they spawn holy-hell
And start f#cking up things anatomical.

I'm retching, my meal's all a'splat;
It's a week since I've last had a shat;
My veins are on fire;
I feel fit to expire:
And yet chemo's a cure for all that!

A cancer-struck virgin would seek hard
For floozies who could take his V-card.
Saying ‘I want, ere I die,’
‘To unzip a girl's fly,’
He made masterful use of the C-card.

I’m bald as a green crocodilian,
With no hair to hide my poor willy in.
The chemo stripped all
Of the fuzz from each ball
Just as well as a full Brazilian.

I felt like I wanted to quit
This cancer-cursed life for a bit.
With carpe-diem my motto,
I got a bit blotto,
‘Cause I’m far too young for this sh#t!

A man both prudish and chaste
By cancer was lain straight to waste.
His poor sense of humor
Was devoured by a tumor,
And the tumor found that in bad taste!

It’s a soft breath of fresh ocean breeze.
It’s the tops; it’s the tit$; the bee’s knees.
It’s rainbows, sunsets,
Puppies, candy, and sex:
Oh sweet bliss, I’ve beat the disease!

 

Oh my.. those are great...  wonder what the crowd will think..??  Won't care after the second bottle of wine.. heh..  Thanks..!!  

Ron

foxhd said:

NOT Americade

That is a Honda Goldwing crowd. Too reserved. Or is it mature? We don't go there..... What I'm talking about is a private party. With thousands of people. Ten years ago if you didn't have a Harley or if you didn't look and act like a biker at this place, you could be quite intimidated. You had to walk the walk, talk the talk. But now we are getting older. Average age is still probably 50-55 , but the younger crowd is much less hardcore Harley. You can ride a Yamaha or take a car. There are lots of motorhomes too. This place is BIG.

Where do you go Fox? I live kinda of Upstate NY. I told my husband he can't go to Daytona this year so maybe he and my father can cruise up.  I live off the NY Thruway.

donna_lee said:

What's the topic?

Where's Gary?  Let's Party? or Raunchy Jokes?  OK...all three.  But still want to know about Gary.  And Here goes...

I'm reading a humorus book called "Why do I have to Learn all this Crap?"   A semi-autobiographical rendering about our local school and it's students and teachers, written by a guy who has been teaching Basic Math and Pre-Algebra to some of America's future World Leaders for 27 years.  NOT.

Over his morning coffee, he is reading the local paper and comes across the story about the older woman who was arrested and sentenced for having 72 cats living in her house.  Part of her sentence was that she could not own a four legged animal for five years.  The author mused that what if her probation officer paid a visit, and all the animals were called Tripod.

Had I been drinking my coffee at the time, the book would have brown freckles.

Yeah...I need to post a new pix.

Have a g'day.

Donna

Not exactly raunchy, but maybe a little slippery

A man doing market research for the Vaseline Company knocked on the door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around her feet. "I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?"

She said, "Yes. My husband and I use it all the time."

"If you don't mind me asking," he said, "what do you use it for?"

"We use it for sex," she said.

The researcher was a little taken aback. "Usually people lie and say they use it on a child's bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex. I admire you for your honesty.. Since you've been so frank, can you tell me exactly how you use it for sex?"

The woman said, "I don't mind telling you at all. My husband and I put it on the doorknob and it keeps the kids out."

GSRon said:

OK, just got this from a long

OK, just got this from a long time pal...  I will run for cover now.......

Ron 

 

Guts or Balls????

Medical: Distinction Between Guts and Balls (As in “that guy really has guts” or “he really has balls”)
            
There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls.  We've all heard about people having Guts or Balls, but do you really know the  difference between them?  In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:            
 
GUTS - Is arriving home late after a  night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask: 'Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'
            
BALLS - Is coming home late after a night  out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the Balls to say: 'You're next, Chubby.'
            
I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.
 
Medically speaking there is no difference in the outcome.  Both result in death.

 

 

Still giggling!

Thanks for that...I think 8-)

Laurie

and you're right, both would cause the life expectancy of the person to be considerably shortened.