Husband status

Double Whammy
Double Whammy Member Posts: 2,832 Member
in Breast Cancer #1

Olga, thanks for asking about my  husband.  I'll post this as a new thread in case anyone is interested because I have some observations now as both a survivor and a caretaker.  

Hubby has now had 15 of 38 radiation treatments for prostate cancer.  He is 70 and this cancer will probably not kill him but like many of us, he may be on some sort of treatment (hormone deprivation therapy has already begun) for the rest of his life.  My hope (and this is indeed a possibility) is that his PSA will be nil after radiation and a short course (?18 months) of hormone deprivation and he can go on with life.   He is doing well both physically and emotionally, but as we all well know, side effects from radiation will likely increase and fatigue will sit in.  For now, he is only mildly fatigued and says he feels like he has to pee or poop all the time.   The hormone deprivation treatment, like the hormone deprivation treatments many of us are on,  can lead to osteoporosis and stroke, not to mention the obvious.  Oh, the lovely side effects of having cancer treatments! 

I've learned a bit about prostate cancer now.  I've also learned about being a caretaker, altho he's doing great.  It is every bit as emotionally difficult to have someone you love go through cancer treatments and maybe even more so having been through them yourself because we know the fear and trepidation we all experience as cancer patients.  I want to say all those things we hate to hear like "you'll be fine" (mostly because I believe he will be), but remember how much I hated such platitudes (and still do).  I have to say I've learned to keep my mouth shut and show empathy and not sympathy (I hope).  I have hated to sit by as he had his biopsy and then had to have marker seeds implanted into his prostate prior to radiation.  It's just icky.  He did fine.  I was a mess. 

That's the update.  We'll get through this and go on with our lives.

Suzanne

Comments

  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    #2
    Suzanne thanks

    Glad to hear treatments are underway, side effects have been manageable and sense of humor is there. Please keep us posted. You know we Do Care

    hugs

  • cinnamonsmile
    cinnamonsmile Member Posts: 1,187 Member
    #3
    I know it must be so hard,

    I know it must be so hard, but it sounds like you are handling things as well as you can!! 

  • camul
    camul Member Posts: 2,537
    #4
    Suzanne
    It sounds like he is doing well with his rads. When I was my moms caregiver, that was harder than me going thru my own stuff. She had 2 massive strokes shortly b4 my first bout w/bc and lived with me and my boys. And she had hard/neck cancer. Didnt realize how hard it was until we moved her to Sacramento, and I realized how stressed out I was.
    It really is easier dealing with my own cancer. I felt helpless when there was nothing I could do to help her at times. When I am having hard days, I see the same with my boys. I truly feel that being a caregiver is si much harder emotionally than being the patient. I still feel blessed for the time and the close bond that I shared with her.
    I would have a hard time keeping my mouth haut tho. :)) I bet he really appreciates you. Just make sure you take time for you.

    Carol
  • aisling8
    aisling8 Member Posts: 1,627 Member
    #5
    camul said:

    Suzanne
    It sounds like he is doing well with his rads. When I was my moms caregiver, that was harder than me going thru my own stuff. She had 2 massive strokes shortly b4 my first bout w/bc and lived with me and my boys. And she had hard/neck cancer. Didnt realize how hard it was until we moved her to Sacramento, and I realized how stressed out I was.
    It really is easier dealing with my own cancer. I felt helpless when there was nothing I could do to help her at times. When I am having hard days, I see the same with my boys. I truly feel that being a caregiver is si much harder emotionally than being the patient. I still feel blessed for the time and the close bond that I shared with her.
    I would have a hard time keeping my mouth haut tho. :)) I bet he really appreciates you. Just make sure you take time for you.

    Carol

    Sending good thoughts your way

    Keeping you both in my thoughts, hoping things continue to go well.

    xo

    Victoria

  • SIROD
    SIROD Member Posts: 2,194 Member
    #6
    Positive thoughts for you and your husband

    Glad things are going as expected.  Hoping when this is ended neither you or your husband will never have anything to do with it again.

    Best of luck to your husband and best wishes to you.  Your a strong woman, Suzanne.

     

    Doris

  • Josie21
    Josie21 Member Posts: 382 Member
    #7
    Hi

    Hi Suzanne.

    I think the only positive thing that can happen from a cancer diagnosis is that you find out in a hurry if the man (or woman) you marry loves you the way you hope they do.  It sounds like you have both been there for each other and that is wonderful!!  I hope the rest of his radiation treatments go smoothly and his cancer nightmare ends forever.

    Hugs,

    Ginny

  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #8
    Josie21 said:

    Hi

    Hi Suzanne.

    I think the only positive thing that can happen from a cancer diagnosis is that you find out in a hurry if the man (or woman) you marry loves you the way you hope they do.  It sounds like you have both been there for each other and that is wonderful!!  I hope the rest of his radiation treatments go smoothly and his cancer nightmare ends forever.

    Hugs,

    Ginny

    Suzanne - my head is spinning -

    Such an ordeal, and after all that you've endured.  I am deeply and truly sorry.  Keep up your strength, and health - as I am so worried that you like so many, will run yourself into the ground without realizing it.

    Gentle hugs, and prayers coming your direction. 

    Vicki SamInnocent

     

  • 2ndxyvonne
    2ndxyvonne Member Posts: 41
    #9
    Prayers and good wishes

    I will be praying for your husband's speedy recovery and for you as his caregiver.  I lost my husband to lung cancer a few years ago and I do know the pain of watching someone you love go through all this.  Stay strong and take care of yourself, too.

  • TraciInLA
    TraciInLA Member Posts: 1,994 Member
    #10
    2ndxyvonne said:

    Prayers and good wishes

    I will be praying for your husband's speedy recovery and for you as his caregiver.  I lost my husband to lung cancer a few years ago and I do know the pain of watching someone you love go through all this.  Stay strong and take care of yourself, too.

    Echoing what others said

    Suzanne,

    I'm so glad to hear your husband is getting through treatment pretty well, and that his prognosis is good -- seeing light at the end of the tunnel undoubtedly makes it a little easier for you both.

    Please do be sure to make time to take care of yourself, too -- even if it's just a little treat from your favorite sweets shop, or a quiet walk on a nice day, or a long, hot bath.  I know we all know this, but it bears repeating:  We can't take good care of others unless we take care of ourselves first.

    Big hug to you,

    Traci

  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    #11
    TraciInLA said:

    Echoing what others said

    Suzanne,

    I'm so glad to hear your husband is getting through treatment pretty well, and that his prognosis is good -- seeing light at the end of the tunnel undoubtedly makes it a little easier for you both.

    Please do be sure to make time to take care of yourself, too -- even if it's just a little treat from your favorite sweets shop, or a quiet walk on a nice day, or a long, hot bath.  I know we all know this, but it bears repeating:  We can't take good care of others unless we take care of ourselves first.

    Big hug to you,

    Traci

    so sorry he has to go thrugh

    so sorry he has to go thrugh this glad you are by his side hugs!

  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    #12
    TraciInLA said:

    Echoing what others said

    Suzanne,

    I'm so glad to hear your husband is getting through treatment pretty well, and that his prognosis is good -- seeing light at the end of the tunnel undoubtedly makes it a little easier for you both.

    Please do be sure to make time to take care of yourself, too -- even if it's just a little treat from your favorite sweets shop, or a quiet walk on a nice day, or a long, hot bath.  I know we all know this, but it bears repeating:  We can't take good care of others unless we take care of ourselves first.

    Big hug to you,

    Traci

    Gosh, Suzanne...

    Seems to me you're handling all of this like a champ!!! (Though am sorry it's necessary...) Glad to know your husband's doing so well, and his prognosis is good.

    And, please - remember Traci's sentence above. Wise woman, our Traci.

    (((Hugs)))

    Kind regards, Susan

     

  • CypressCynthia
    CypressCynthia Member Posts: 4,014 Member
    #13
    Suzanne, I am so sorry to

    Suzanne, I am so sorry to hear of this.  I somehow missed this.  When I think about what my husband has done for me over 27 years...well I can only imagine it is to both have had cancer and to be a caregiver.  Please take time for yourself.  I make Danny go boating at least once a week.  It is his love and we both need a break sometimes.  Big hugs and lots of prayers!!!!

  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    #14
    Hugs!!!

    Hi Suzanne, I've been wondering about you and your hubby....it sounds like all things considered he is doing well and that is a great thing.  It also sounds like you could use a few hugs my dear!  I can only imagine the emotional roller coaster  you have been one as well.  Sending my love your way!

     

    RE

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