My Clinical oncologist SCARES ME!

wet myself ...   Sorry, but I can vision your visit

-  I would be sitting in a corner with a knife, and blanket - in fear of what is next...

so so sorry -- scary, but interesting... 

Vicki Sam

OK, I am just going to put this out there.  Some of the best oncologists have crappy bedside manners.  Oncology is as much an art as a science.  I believe I lucked into an outstanding young oncologist 26+ years ago who had great instincts, but a kind of lousy bedside manner.  He is so freaking smart and he really, really listens to me.

But, we have come a long way together.  Originally, he was brash, ice cold and blunt.  I had Stage 3 and he was not optimistic back in 1987.  He scared the crud out of me on more than one occasion.  I had a couple of people who told me that they went once to him and then wouldn't go back.  He told my older sister that, if tamoxifen was making her mentally unstable, she needed to see a psychiatrist.  She does need a psychiatrist, by the way, but he was less than diplomatic. 

My gut told me to stay the course with him.  When I talk with him, I can almost visibly see wheels turning in his brain.  Over the years, I have seeked a second opinion and he is always, always fine with that - something I really respect.  But he has always steered me to a treatment regimen that I have responded to: some of that is luck, but some of it is his brilliant mind.

BTW, he is a total teddy bear now and we have so much love and respect for each other.  Before he starts a regimen, he comes armed with scholarly articles for me.  I love that.

I believe that we all have an inner voice or gut instinct that we need to listen to closely.  Your oncologist sounds like a whacko, but only you can answer the important question: is she the right oncologist for you?

I think if I felt that way about any of my drs. I would be looking for a new one. Are there any others you can go to?

Hugs,

Georgia

Maybel1980 said:

Take control

Hey,

You are the patient. Choose your doctors, do the research and manage your medical records-it's in your hands.

I do a lot of research (this site, healthtap, WebMD... whatever works for you), and use a great ipad app called Hello Doctor yo manage my medical records http://goo.gl/FKn9jQ

Try to do that - you will feel better and will never be scared of your doctor

I googled Joyce Grenfell and found an actress who did monologues.  She was British and I listened to one of her monologues where she is a nursery school teacher at the end of the day.  So maybe I have the wrong person.  She was very funny and I loved when she reacts to one of the children sticking a blue paint brush in another child's ear; Dolores you weren't hurt just surprised.  Although I can see if you are comparing your oncologist to her in the this routine that your oncologist would be a little scary.  Do you think she will mellow over time or would that be a worse scenario?   Perhaps it would be good to try someone else.  You certainly don't need another Charisma Bypass or worse his mutated offspring.   It couldn't hurt to try someone else.   Comfort with your providers is so important so don't stay with the amped up primary school teacher if she scares you.  That is definitely not the relationship you wnat with your doctor.  Fear is not our goal.

Stef

fauxma said:

I googled Joyce Grenfell and

I googled Joyce Grenfell and found an actress who did monologues.  She was British and I listened to one of her monologues where she is a nursery school teacher at the end of the day.  So maybe I have the wrong person.  She was very funny and I loved when she reacts to one of the children sticking a blue paint brush in another child's ear; Dolores you weren't hurt just surprised.  Although I can see if you are comparing your oncologist to her in the this routine that your oncologist would be a little scary.  Do you think she will mellow over time or would that be a worse scenario?   Perhaps it would be good to try someone else.  You certainly don't need another Charisma Bypass or worse his mutated offspring.   It couldn't hurt to try someone else.   Comfort with your providers is so important so don't stay with the amped up primary school teacher if she scares you.  That is definitely not the relationship you wnat with your doctor.  Fear is not our goal.

Stef

Cancer is scary shitttt .. Our medical providers are on medical levels many of us do not understand - bedside manners, or communication skills for these highly trained and educated professionals may not be to our perference.  However, we want and Need the BEST of the BEST... so we must also deal with personalities.

I laughed and cried over Tasha's post because she was just being honest - and I could see myself in a similiar situation.  H--umor is the best medicine in my CASE.

Tasha --  I love you humor, it keeps me laughing all day.

Vicki Sam