Survivor?

I finished my last chemo 8/15/13 and then had a BMX on 9/27.  It wasn't until about 2 weeks ago that I started to feel like a survivor instead of a victim.  The feelings don't come with the reality, but in their own good time.

I can't say I don't worry about recurance, but it's not an every day concern.  I feel my life is going to a new normal and that's good.

Sandy

My oncologist said once you have cancer, you can always consider yourself as having cancer. There is no  cure for cancer. We get treatment and cross our fingers that it doesn't come back. Unfortunately it does come back in too many of us - certainly not all - but you never know. We read stories from our fellow warriors that they were NED (no evidence of disease) for years, and then it showed up again. The most common places for it to return are the lung, skin, liver, and bones. If it shows up in the lung, for instance, testing will usually show it is metastatic breast cancer, not lung cancer. It is treated with the same drugs that are used in the initial breast cancer. 

Once you have been treated for cancer, the best you can say is you have NED - no evidence of disease, and hope you are among the many who never get a recurrence. People who say you should  "getting over yourself" are ignorant of the facts of cancer. There IS no cure.

'Survivor' means different things to different people.  To me, every day after DX, we are a survivor.

I don't know what type your BC is, nor does it matter,  at this time there is no "cure" for BC - the best we get is NED (No Evidence of Disease).

I do not have a daughter but I think yours is probably as scared (or more than) as you are.  Watching our loved ones go throught major health issues is extremely hard.  I lost my Mom to Aneorxia in the 70's.  I won't go into anything else on that but to saythatyour Daughter is going through a lot also and very well may be in denial.  Sometimes we do need a good kick in the 

posterior to get us going again.  Perhaps some counciling is in order for your family.

Wnyan - The Power Within

Susan

Your daughter is ignorant and rude. She can not and never will not completely know what it is like for you if she never had cancer.

It can take a long time to get over the treatments we receive for cancer. Some take longer, some take less time, and there may be side effects that never go away.

Since you have had cancer, you will never go back to being the same person. Lots of say we get a new normal for ourselves and it very individualistic.

You have the right to feel under the weather. You have the right to not be the same person. You have the right to not put up with crap from your daughter. Only you can know how to deal with her ignorance and rudeness. I can see how she can't understand what you have gone through...the waiting, more waiting, biopsies, surgeries, treatments, the total devastation and fear when you hear the words that you have cancer. And it is always in the back of the mind. Somewhere back there we know there is a chance that the cancer may come back.

Cancer and the treatments for it  not only takes a huge toll on our bodies physically, but emotionally and pyschologically. We are NEVER cured. Like others have said, it is called NED, No evidence of disease.

When I first joined CSN when I was first diagnosed with cancer, I was told I was a survivor from the moment I got the diagnoses. If I was alive, even with cancer, I am a survivor. While I am NED, I am still a survivor. Either way, I am a survivor until the day I die.

I found this sight due to NOT THINKING I was a surivor , until I was with a friend. She said she was a survior after surgery to remove cancer from her leg and NO treatments. So I came here to ask..

I had surgery and radiation!

I was told any cancer with or without treatment is a survior.  Congrats

Denise

Aren't families weird and complicated.  I know my children were worried sick but never showed it.  I had no idea what my mum went through until I did myself.  Females know how to hurt other females and usually end up tearing themselves apart later with regret.  So hope yours is just young and going through a stage.......   We are never cured.  May not return but may return.  Heavens sake of course you feel ill.  I took months to shake off exhaustion and now three years later suffering from side effects which have to be treated or kept an eye on.  If you have others who understand you better I should lean on them, your daughter should be made aware of the heightened possibility of hereditary cancer in order to bring things home a little on the seriousness of the disease.  Please try not to worry about her so much and look after yourself at this time.

Commonly with young people they will minimize something and take the "blah! its no big deal!" approach as a defense mechanism because after all if they maintain in their minds that ur over it and you need to get over yourself then they dont have to be afraid of losing you right? its cold and callous but to protect their young feelings it is actually smart on their part. So please try to forgive her and take it with a grain of salt. She wants your cancer to be done and disappear and never have to deal with it again.

From my personal experience I would say you are recovering from cancer because you just finished treatment and havent fully come back into ur normal self. Once you do that and you have had some follow-up appointment to confirm NED then at that point Id say Survivor. For myself, I am in second year of NED but I am still on tamoxifen so I consider myself a Survivor Still Fighting. But thats just how I choose to look at it. When Im done with the big T (7 more years) and still NED then I will consider myself simply a Survivor.  Again this is just my opinion and hopefully helpful to you.

Congrats, God Bless & Good Luck!!

Marcia527 said:

Diagnosis

I use my diagnosed date. it is the day I went to the MD and he thought it was Cancer. I thought it was cancer also. But at this time I hadnt had the tests yet. Someone told me the diagnosis date is used because not everyone has the same treatment. But everyone has a diagnosis date. 

My diagnosed date was 8/5/2003. 

a lot of people don't realize what we go through so hang in there.

 

I'm not finished yet and don't quite feel like a survivor. I'm still fighting in the trenches. Tomorrow I am going in for surgery #3. I had a BMX three months ago but got an awful infection in the hospital which required a second surgery. I lost parts of three muscles, most of the soft tissue under my arm and the outside part of the new implant. The implant was replaced with a tissue expander. The other side was fine and has never given me one second of trouble. This new surgery is to continue reconstruction under my arm, replace the TE with a new kind of implant, and replace my "good" implant with one of the new kind to match. I am terrified of another infection or some other kind of complication. There will be a fourth surgery in a couple of months for fat grafting. When I'm finished, I'll feel like a survivor. Right now I'm a warrior. Three surgeries in three months hasn't given me the time to feel like a survivor, but I understand and support all the rest of you. We all have to find out own way through this nightmare.

mj_weis said:

My Daughter

You know, after talking to the group here, I'm not as angry as I was.  I really do think she just wants me well and (she has never know how to say the right thing) and that is the way she just wanted to say she wanted it all to go away so she didn't have to worry about losing me anymore.

 

I'm not sure, but I can't wallow in it becasue I am still having problems with my recovery, and I really need to concentrate on that.

 

Thank you so much for thinking of me, I really need this

 

MJ

There is no one 'right way' to say anything to anyone/everyone.