I wish....

Believe me and all of us who have done this a while. I for one have made plans for next summers motorcycle trips. I continue to exercise to return to good shape because it does matter. We may run into obstacles but we deal with them and move on. Let me tell you that after having had the IL-2 treatments, I have not conceded one inch. Who knows what will happen. I don't know how to tell someone how to not worry. I just know that there has to be a way that you can avoid negative thoughts and think only in positive thoughts. If I was told that I only had 3 months to live, I would be scared. But that has happened to me or you. Smell the roses.

icemantoo said:

Scanxciety

Michelle,

Although your path report was not perfect many of our members would give up everthimg to have started with only a 6 cm tumor like yours.Even if their was a small issue with your scan it is likely to be minor since your tumor was much smaller than akmost all if not all of thise having a more difficult journey.  The odds are on your side. They do not get better because you worry.

 

It take a little luck and a positive attitude to stay Camcer free. 

 

Icemantoo

It was hard to plan anything for fear of what the next scan would tell us.  And I remeber so well the anticipation of waiting for a result of "NED" and calling our best friend couple and announcing "We're going to Ireland with you."  Since that time, we've all been to Mexico together, and back to Ireland again.

There is no harm in saying you are depressed and that you are crying.  That all helps you relieve the stress of what your are experiencing.

I ask you to consider talking to your PC about an antidepressant to help you through this.  A couple of weeks ago at my cancer support group, we took a show of hands for those on some brand of antidepressant at some point in treatment- everyone raised his/her hand.  It's not healthy for you to feel miserable, and it impedes physical healing.  And at this point, I see that you need to focus a lot of energy on your physical recovery.

Time is on you side.  You will recover. You will get better.  Just make sure you believe it.

Best wishes.

Donna

todd121 said:

Time Heals

It's been a year this week that they found my 7cm tumor and it'll be a year December 10th I had my right kidney removed. It has slowly been getting better.

What's helped me? I found I was having trouble talking to most friends and family. I could tell they were having trouble relating and had their own fears and worries that got in the way of listening. My work has good mental health insurance. For $25 copay I got as many sessions as I wanted with a therapist. I had to try a couple but I found one I liked and went 1-2 times a week for several weeks. I found a cancer survivors support group and a kidney cancer support group and went to those. I bought Gerald White's book, but more importantly than that I bought his CD and listened to it every night while falling asleep. It has visualization exercises on it for relaxing. I still listen to it sometimes while falling asleep.

It's still hard to plan for the future, but not as hard as it was a few months ago. I'm starting to feel like I'm facing the possibility of living for another 20-30 years. Lol. 5 weeks ago I had my last scans which showed no visible tumors.

Exercise has helped my depression. I've not been good about doing it all the time. I notice I feel better when I do it.

Best to you,

Todd

I try not to think about the upcoming scans until a day before the scan....then the trick is not to dwell on scan results until the day of the doctor's appt. when he reveals the results. I figure why should I ruin my weekend, or weekworrying a about something that may not happen. But sometimes, despite all my efforts, I become a basket case right before scans. Not very pleasant to be around.  It doesnt get me anything, though, to fall prey to the worry and fear. Inevitably, I vow not to fall down the rabbit hole next time. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I do. But it does get easier to maintain balance the more scans you have. Practice makes perfect. You realize that one way or the other, life goes on. You will deal with whatever you need to deal with. There's no choice, really. But hey! I'm all for planning things for the future. It keeps me moving forward. Important to have things to look forward to. Really and truly important. So use some of your excess energy now dreaming up a trip or event or get together that will make you happy. Then make sure it happens. My husband actually does that for me. I call him my consierge. He's in charge of planning fun things to do that we both look forward to. Best therapy for the both of us! And we've racked up some really great times!

I feel the exact same way.let's try to keep a positive attitude and we will get through this together. 

Smitty

Miashelle1 said:

Thanks...

For the kind positive words....today was a better day

I am luckier than some ... just wish it had all never happened but, it has and I need to accept it.

Michelle x

Hi Michelle, I just want to wish you all the best with your up and coming scan, I am sure you will do fine! I am sorry to hear you feel you are unable to plan for your future. Sadly life does not come with any guarantee, if you think about it there never has been a definate tomorrow let alone next year. Try not to let cancer take a hold over your life, you could be free and clear from this moment on why waste precious time worrying about the what if's. This will eat away at you if you let it!

There is a great site in the UK called CANCERactive, they are based in Bedfordshire. They have masses of information and very sound advice for cancer sufferers. You can also get plenty of advice on what to do to improve your immune system to increase your chances of keeping a reoccurrence at bay. There are books by biochemist and doctor Chris Woollams on cancer and nutrition they are very informative. His daughter had cancer and he spent many years researching the best treatments, nutrition and supplements. You may have already made changes in your diet etc. but these may prove helpful in remaining proactive, they may help you to regain the feeling of having some control over your health and your life:)

All the best

Djinnie xx

Michelle, as I'm sitting here with my son, daughter in law, and five of my grandchildren, I'm feeling so blessed that I'm here for this day.  We've been on vacation for almost 3 weeks and damned if the doctors (who knew we were traveling) didn't manage to contact us! LOL  after the PET, I had an exhaustive MRI on my right femur, which they determined was NOT mets even though it lit up on the PET.  They called to schedule me for another CT scan on my chest, to tackle the "several" nodules in both of my lungs, upper areas.  This crap is NOT fair, but what are you going to do? I'm going to keep on keepin on!  I've been sick with an upper respiratory thing that has cost me my voice and turned me into a DayQuil addict for the past 2 days.  I even hallucinated the other night...saw a stuffed white rabbit next to my pillow!?!?! DayQuil/NyQuil is good stuff!  LOL Even with all this going on, and seeing ALL my grandkids during this trip, the first thing that hit me and has stayed with me, is...are these mets in my lungs?  I mean, I beat the odds on the thigh bone thing, what are the odds I'll beat them again on my lungs?  Or on my left kidney, where another spot lit up?  I guess I'll just deal with it and thank God or whatever higher power you all believe in, that I had THIS thanksgiving with my family and work like the devil to make sure I have NEXT Thanksgiving with all of them, too.  I know I've been rambling, and this might not even be the appropriate thread to post this is, but here it is.  If it doesn't "fit", sorry....I just felt talkative tonight, especially after the "is it worth the effort" thread.

tillie...stage 3a (quite possibly edging in on stage 4) grade 2

...... and then I didn't die....now what do I do??????  The mets are still in my lungs and skull...I've been on a couple different drugs and now a third... or is it fourth... does that count the IL2??  oh well... the disease is not sure if it wants to grow or shrink...and I've lost count of the people who have died since I was diagnosed and they had no idea it was coming....it's kind of a pain when the thought of no more responsibilities crops up...not much of a response to your post but I'll wager there are a few folks out there who might share the feeling...so the only thing left is to live 'till you die and you ain't dead yet !

If you thought children were a blessing... you ain't seen nothing yet!!!!  There is nothing in the world like a grandchild.  I have four and their joy for life and innocence is amazing!   I have a favorite quote from an old US television show. "... never underestimate the power of grandfathers...(grandmothers too)... we were here before you and the grandchildren will be here after you.  We will make enemies, we will break laws... we will break bones, but you will NOT mess with the grandchildren!!!!"   It's a glorious club and on behalf of grandparents everywhere... WELCOME!!!There is no better way to live one day at a time than by reveling in the beauty of a grandchild!

Gordon Charles said:

A GRANDCHILD !!!!!!

If you thought children were a blessing... you ain't seen nothing yet!!!!  There is nothing in the world like a grandchild.  I have four and their joy for life and innocence is amazing!   I have a favorite quote from an old US television show. "... never underestimate the power of grandfathers...(grandmothers too)... we were here before you and the grandchildren will be here after you.  We will make enemies, we will break laws... we will break bones, but you will NOT mess with the grandchildren!!!!"   It's a glorious club and on behalf of grandparents everywhere... WELCOME!!!There is no better way to live one day at a time than by reveling in the beauty of a grandchild!

I've got to write that down somewhere!  We have 8...6 boys and 2 girls....I held the first one , grandson, before they had even wiped him off.  It was a mystical, spiritual event that I will never ever forget....dropped me to my knees!  Our oldest is almost 21 and our youngest is almost 4. They are magical creatures!!