New here looking for support

Sorry for all you are going through. Losing weight due to anxiety is not uncommon and shows us just how powerful our mind-body conneciton truly is. Thinking of dying is also a sign of anxiety. There is help for this. I would suggest you may start with telling your primary doctor and seeing if you may need an anti-anxiety med for awhile.

Remember too this word: F.E.A.R=False Evidence that Appears REAL! CHOOSE not to allow fear to rule your thinking!

Maybe see a therapist for awhile. Also do not forget we all are fighting off cancer cells, even those who never get cancer. So you ARE fighting this and winning.

My last recommendation is that our brains NEED the proper nutrition to function optimally. Make sure you are getting proper food and rest. No sugar, processed foods and do a gentle detox to assist the liver/kidneys in ridding your body of toxins.

Yes, our bodies react to our thoughts. Change those thoughts and use your faith to guide you through this too. Your children will continue to be your inspiration. See your doctor ok?

Warmly, Jan

Smitty, most of here have experienced these thoughts, you are not alone.  Your diagnosis,  while unfortunate, is not a death sentence.  there are others here witn much more experience than me, but your future has good odds of disease free living.  Keeping a good check up schedule is imperative as there is always a chance for future issues.  There is no good that comes from dwelling on the unknown,  there will be plenty of time to worry WHEN and IF something occurs.  Please take the time to live in the moment with your two beautiful daughters.  I have three beautiful daughters and work hard every day to stay in the moment with them and everyone else that is part of my life.

Prayer is always a great calming factor in the life of a cancer survivor.  There are meds that your doctor can prescribe for your anxiety as well.  I am keeping you in my prayers.  As hard as it may seem now, you can begin to manage your thoughts better as time passes.  keeping yourself busy to avoid idle thought helps.  Hang in there buddy, we are all here for you.

Smitty65 said:

Thank you all so much

I have to admit I have been stalking this Web page for a while now. The support  I saw in this group is amazing. So many cancer websites I saw were negative and dealt with the initial diagnosis as opposed to living positively after treatment. 

Today for some reason has been worse then most.  My back and my surgery scars have been aching since the weather turned so I currently have myself convinced I have pancreatic cancer despite the ct scans,  xrays and blood tests to the contrary.  I have to start believing the science and stop listening to the crazy thoughts in my head.  

Smitty,

The Cancer free guarantees go up to about 6cm. At 10 cm their is a slight risk over the years, but any problem should be caught in the bud and taken care of with regular scans. There are many survivors with 10 cm and over and with regular scans you should be here for a long time to come. The aches and pains from that initiation (surgery) that will cintinue for a few more months are normal and are not Cancer If you felt Cancer they would be able to do away with the scans and bloodwork. If RCC does not usually go to the Pancreous so stop worrying about something you do not have.

Icemantoo

Smitty65 said:

Thanks

My doctor gave me a 90% 10 year survival rate for my type of RCC (clear cell really slow growing). I truly can't thank you all enough. Knowing that I am not the only one going through this is a god send.  I'm feeling better already. 

It's certainly normal to think every pain and ache is something to do with cancer.  That is our new thought process also.  My husbands shoulder was aching and we thought for sure it was cancer.  He had an MRI and it turned out to have a diagnosis of arthritis.  What can I say?  We are scared.  It has gotten better with time, but I think we will probably always have the fear.  The thing is...it doesn't incapacitate us and we can still enjoy life.  It's only been six months for you and things will improve.  I'm really glad you are here talking about your concerns. 

Smitty,

Your thoughts and fears are totally normal for a cancer survivor. I am a 58 year survivor and I still get anxious when I have a skin cancer lesion removed or an abnormal anything, any little thing. I've gotten very good at not dwelling. It is what it is and I cannot control it. My wish for you is to be able to live in the moment. When I do that I see what is in front of me and I am never disappointed. You survived to enjoy life and to fullfill your purpose on this earth. It's taken me many years to get there - I hope you can do it now. Congratulations and enjoy.

Mary

Smitty,

You are def not alone.   I was 37 with a 2 yo and 3 month yo at home when I was rushed off to surgery with what turned out to be a stage 3 grade 3 tumor. The thought of leaving those two fatherless is very tough to take.  It has gotten a little easier but its never easy. As my scans approach the anxiety hits real hard but I will say between scan I have also come to have some normalcy too.  Hearing high risk at every dr appointment hits me hard.   I still think about the boys growing up fatherless but Ive also learned to appreciate each moment with them.

 I just celebrated my litle ones 2nd birthday and now get to enjoy my oldests 4th birthday.  There is also a lot of inspiration on this board.    I view most of the people on here as needle movers.  The have taught me that the stats you read about are being beaten consistently.  The are changing the number in our favor.  They are a great inspiration to us all.  

I would also like to add we are in a time that some scientist call the era of discovery.  We are finally figuring things out. Our knowledge is doubling every two years. Soon it will be every year.  Once we start to implement these discoveries the number of long term survivors and cures for all stages will be real impressive. 

Darron said:

Sindy and smitty

Please take a moment to read my info. I would give anything for your diagnosis.

I can tell you 1st hand that time helps. A day doesn't go by that I don't think about my cancer, but I try to make that motivation to make sure I make the most of the day that I have been given. I know several peiple my age that were not given the time I have already enjoyed since being diagnosed. i try to enjoy every day, not because I am worried I am dying, but because I am happy to be living.

Hug your kids, kiss your spouse, smile at a stranger. we should all have a different appreciation for every day. If you don't share it, your wisdom will be wasted. Let everyone see how much you love life, it is amazing how good it makes you feel.

hope I didn't ramble, sorry if I did. You will be OK, and now you are in a group where people do understand what you are going thru. 

Hope you are doing better now And know that you can share....

 

Darron, I have read your info and I totally get that my diagnosis is much preferred to yours.  I do not doubt that if I were in your shoes, I would not have handled the situation as graciously as you have.  I have nothing but respect for the bravery you demonstrate. 

I try to never lose sight that there are countless people who'd give anything to walk a mile in my shoes.  Being one of the lucky ones has definitely taught me a whole new appreciation for what matters in life and, maybe more importantly, what doesn't.

Having said all that, try as I might, I can't keep cancer from creeping into my thoughts.  But, I am going to work on making those thoughts motivate me to make the most of my day, like you do.  I'm ready to be back to my happy go lucky kind of style, maybe this will help!

This place is the best!!  Thanks, Darron and Merry Christmas!!

MMondi1 said:

Smitty,
 
You are def not

Smitty,

 

You are def not alone.   I was 37 with a 2 yo and 3 month yo at home when I was rushed off to surgery with what turned out to be a stage 3 grade 3 tumor. The thought of leaving those two fatherless is very tough to take.  It has gotten a little easier but its never easy. As my scans approach the anxiety hits real hard but I will say between scan I have also come to have some normalcy too.  Hearing high risk at every dr appointment hits me hard.   I still think about the boys growing up fatherless but Ive also learned to appreciate each moment with them.

 I just celebrated my litle ones 2nd birthday and now get to enjoy my oldests 4th birthday.  There is also a lot of inspiration on this board.    I view most of the people on here as needle movers.  The have taught me that the stats you read about are being beaten consistently.  The are changing the number in our favor.  They are a great inspiration to us all.  

I would also like to add we are in a time that some scientist call the era of discovery.  We are finally figuring things out. Our knowledge is doubling every two years. Soon it will be every year.  Once we start to implement these discoveries the number of long term survivors and cures for all stages will be real impressive. 

Smitty

You did the right thing reaching out to this forum. They are knowledgeable, compassionate and can help you find hope and even give you a laugh.

Hang in there and remember we all have our dark days - we just pray that they few and far between. And that you can get back to savoring the good things life has given us.

Jojo

Darron said:

I still struggle

Don't get me wrong, I struggle too. Time helps, but we all have bad days.

the hand we have been dealt in life really stinks, but we've got to play the hand out.

I didn't mean to come across like I did. It is OK to have a bad day, but at some point, it is a day we have been given.

 

Merry Christmas back at you! Hoping and praying your tomorrow is better than today!

 

Smitty is good that you came on here and talked to us about your problems and thoughts.  Its good to have people who know where you are coming from.  I fear cancer everyday and probably with good reason too.  I had RCC last year.  This year on my colonoscopy I also had Adenocarcinoma in one of the 6 adenoma polyps that was removed.  Again i was blessed that the cancer had not spread.  I started having pain in my right hip about 5 months ago.  My Pcp sent me to an oncologist because these are primary tumors.  Me PET scan lit up in the iliac crest of my hip  this scan was sept 28  so onc wanted to wait and do another pet scan in Jan 14 due to cancer being slower to show in bone.  Due to increased pain i had a ct scan last week that had even the radiologist confused.  He could fine only sm amt of arthritis in hip and said pet scan and this ct did not match up.he can find nothing where the cancer cells are showing.  So my onc is sending me the university hosp to see bone doc that only takes care of pts with bone cancer.  Im scared to say the least to go next week but this needs to be found and treatment started.  They now have me on strong dose of pain meds that helps.  Just need your thoughts and prayers as I go to new onc next week.  I am feeling very afraid.   thanks