Don't know what to do or think..


So around a month and a half ago I found a lump in my right breast at 12 O'clock position. Ever since I have seen my doctor many times and have also had an ultrasound and I just received a call from the hospital for my guided biopsy appointment.

I feel like I'm going crazy. So many emotions are going through my head and I dont even know if its cancer or not. I cant even imagine what people who know they have cancer feel like.

I took a mental health day from work on Oct. 23rd and was threatened to be fired. I told my manager what was going on and he sounded supportive at first but then said that if I ever need a day off again that I need to give 14 days notice and bring a note.

So this morning when I got a call from my doctor telling me my biopsy appointment at the hospital, I told my manager right away. The appointment is in the morning at 8:45am and my usual morning shifts are no earlier than 10am so I only asked to start my shift later in the day and take a closing shift instead of asking for the whole day off. He told me to email headoffice and ask and to bring a note from the doctor at the time of my appointment. 

I was shocked. ITS A BIOPSY, not a cold. I cant ask the doctor there for a note for work because my manager thinks I'm lying.. 

I told him that and he kept persisting he needs proof of the appointment at the hospital so I told him I could give him the phone number and the extension so he could call in and confirm my appointment.

Its bad enough being in the unknown that you might have cancer, but to have people beat you down every step of the way as youre trying to be strong is just too much. 

I dont know what to do, I feel like I have no support and I'm so scared. For the first time in my life I feel like I have zero control and its terrifying. 

I also feel like I have no support from m family/friends. They all like to pretend nothing is wrong and will ever be wrong so as soon as I even start talking about my feelings or anything cancer related they cut me off, tell me its nothing, and change the subject. I have nobody to talk to and I just need to get all of this out. 



  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    wow...sorry to hear...I would

    wow...sorry to hear...I would have t he dr office FAX a note right away. I am sorry you are being treated like this. My first surgery for Breast cancer was ok with work (I had more then enough sick time) I had to go to radiation for 6 wks, I was told do what you need to do. 2-3 days into my treatments I was called in the office and told I can not take my lunch at 10:30 for treamtents (normally 11:30) I had to use sick days. I started to cry and said I will have no time left for illness. They did NOT care...end of story. I had been there for about 8 yrs- no concern for me at all.

    I wish you the best-I would keep a journal or log of things said and done. I went to a support group after the fact and found out most of what they said and did was NOT legal (for medical etc) NOW I perhpas check things out or even FMLA (not sure where you work but just a thought)



    I"ll check back for an update..sorry your family is not supporting you..

  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    family and friends

    perhaps they are just scare like you and dont' know what to say or do...not an excuse just a thought


  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294

    family and friends

    perhaps they are just scare like you and dont' know what to say or do...not an excuse just a thought


    You should ask you doctor

    You should ask you doctor for a note. It is pretty common youse a formal way for a medical leave. When you go to the hospital please ask for "off work note". Most hospitals do not have any problems with it.

    Good luck with your biopcy

  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072

    I know exactly how you feel, my friends and family were all full of  "Hey, it could be nothing"  Head in sand syndrome!   When I was diagnosed by ultrasound led biopsy they seemed to think I was contagious and didn't want to hear about it in case it affected them.

    However, I recently had to make an insurance claim, to do so I had to get confirmation of all my recent hospital appointments.  My hospital was more than happy to print these out for me... try that?


    You have found the perfect site for you.  I have been here 6 years on and off, I am now terminal st 4 and very hosed off about it!,  The girls in here are just great and will answer any questions and rage with you when you need to vent (as we all do going through this)  


    Good luck with you diagnosis, keep yer fingers crossed.  Hugs J xx


    Sorry the company you work for are such a bunch of wankers!

  • cinnamonsmile
    cinnamonsmile Member Posts: 1,187 Member
    Are you eligible for the FMLA

    Are you eligible for the FMLA program? Under that, they HAVE to give you the time off. It is the law.

    The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) provides an entitlement of up to 12 weeks of job-protected, unpaid leave during any 12-month period to eligible, covered employees for the following reasons: 1) birth and care of the eligible employee's child, or placement for adoption or foster care of a child with the employee; 2) care of an immediate family member (spouse, child, parent) who has a serious health condition; or 3) care of the employee's own serious health condition. It also requires that employee's group health benefits be maintained during the leave. The FMLA is administered by the Employment Standards Administration's Wage and Hour Division within the U.S. Department of Labor." (


    The FMLA only applies to employers that meet certain criteria. A covered employer is a:

    • Private-sector employer, with 50 or more employees in 20 or more workweeks in the current or preceding calendar year, including a joint employer or successor in interest to a covered employer;
    • Public agency, including a local, state, or Federal government agency, regardless of the number of employees it employs; or
    • Public or private elementary or secondary school, regardless of the number of employees it employs.


    Only eligible employees are entitled to take FMLA leave. An eligible employee is one who:

    • Works for a covered employer;
    • Has worked for the employer for at least 12 months;
    • Has at least 1,250 hours of service for the employer during the 12 month period immediately preceding the leave*; and
    • Works at a location where the employer has at least 50 employees within 75 miles. (

    However, I know by personal experience that your employer can not fire you for missing work on FMLA, but they can find other ways to fire you. It is not nice, but that is the way most businesses work now. Its all about the company, not the employees. 

    Do you have a human resources department? I would deal with them rather than the manager. Also, I would not go into an detail about your health issues with your manager. You don't have to and are not required to let him know about everything you are going through. You simply need to bring in a note from your doctor that you are needing a day off/time from work. I would not have them fax it, your company could play dirty and say they never got it. Get  your note, and bring it right to your human resources department if you have one, otherwise your manager.

    I would not deal with the manager. I would deal with your human resources office. See if you are eligible for FMLA.

    Good luck with your upcoming procedure and work issues.