What's wrong with NOT having reconstruction?

sea60 said:

The RIGHT decision

is the one YOU make for yourself.

 

Hugs,

Sylvia

Sylvia just wrote the perfect reply!  Hope you are doing well.

Hugs, Rose

littleangel65 said:

Good for you

I had my right breast removed last year, and at that time, I thought, oh YES, I am getting reconstruction, but now that time has passed, and I am still going strong, I am not so sure I want to have reconstruction, the only thing that is truly bothering me, is this flab on my side, it gets in the way, when I do put a bra on and my prosithis, but other than that, my husband accepts me for me, not for weather or not I have all my parts. lol

And the more I think about the pros and cons of reconstruction, the more I ask myself, does that reconstruction stuff hide things that need to be addressed, as far as cancer coming back to a specific area? 

All that matters, is what makes you feel the most comfortable, you know your body better than anyone.

Don't worry about what other people think, they aren't the ones having to make that decision.

Take Care

gundicus said:

no recon for me either

I had a double mastectomy without any reconstruction 2 months ago monday - and i'm very happy with my decision. I have had many people ask 'what are you going to do now?' - and i'm not planning on doing much of anything except letting the scars fade, recovering fully & getting back to life! Even the doctors & hospitals it seems have bought into us needing 'breasts' to be ok. - and that's sad. I had well meaning people tell me i'd at least want prosthetics because 'otherwise there are clothes that just won't look right on you.' - really? I haven't worn a dress since high school - my tshirts will look just fine....i'm a butch lesbian...so no - I don't do red gowns etc....and even if I DID - you do NOT need breasts to be beautiful. I wish society didn't have that in the popular mindset - but it bugs me too. If YOU want them for YOU - in order to feel good or be comfortable - FINE. But to risk my health further did not make sense for something that didn't affect my vision of myself or my self-esteem at all. Luckily my family & partner were on board with this decision from the start - it was too risky due to other health problems & the payoff wasn't nearly worth it. I'm sorry so many people are made to feel 'less than' if they don't get at least implants - to say nothing of prosthetics....it's a shame. As for me - i'm a flattop now & darned proud of it. My scars speak volumes to anyone as to my character and integrity and THAT is all that matters - HOW YOU SEE YOURSELF...be proud of your survival and the rest will follow - AND FOLLOW YOUR HEART - ALWAYS!

Stay strong & best of luck,

Gundy

Bumping up for Jesse.  I hope this post will help you.

kamcat1962 said:

no reconstruction i wish

I had reconstruction after my chemo since my cancer was so aggressive even though I was stage 2b.  This is what I have learned from the experience. First and foremost your health and remission are the most important thing that you and everyone you know should be concerned with.  You are alive thank God and you want to stay that way and so should everyone else!!!  I had such reservations about reconstruction that I had 3 consults and I waited a year after my treatments to do it.  I had a lat flap and implant on the right side(mastectomy side) and a prophylactic mastectomy on the left and then an implant.  It was hell.  I have never had such pain in my life. And like you I felt pushed by doctors, friends, family, (not my husband he left it up to me, He told me when I had the first mastectomy that all he cared about was me being alive.  HE MARRIED ME FOR ME NOT MY BREAST) even fellow breast cancer survivors kept asking, "When you gonna get your new girls?"  How I wish I had waited and listened to my instincts.  What I am about to print can not be medically proven as far as I know, but I, unfortunately believe it in my heart.  My cancer has recurred and metastized on the side of the lat flap and my implant is leaking(saline thank goodness) but they can't remove it because of all the radiation I have had. I know in my heart my cancer returned because of the stress the reconstruction put on my body. I am sure every doctor on earth would pooh=pooh this idea but that's how I feel.  It sounds like you have already had a rough time with this.  I am not telling you what to do except listen to your instincts I have found that they are your best friend in tne end and usually they are right for you.  Good luck and God Bless you sound like you've been through alot.  Take care

Best Wishes, Cathy K.

Cathy, I am so sorry for all that you went thru and will be praying for you. 

Sue

kamcat1962 said:

Thank you Sue, you know they

Thank you Sue, you know they say "That which doesn't kill me can only make me stronger" Each day I am elated to wake up and each night I am grateful for the day. My best advise to cancer survivors is to keep busy if you can.  I have had many physical complications from my cancer but i still try to stay constructive.  Believe me I have some very dark days but I think about those that are very less fortunate than I am and then I stop feeling sorry for myself.  My other piece of advice is to either join a support group (ours here where I live is pathetic unfortunately)or go to a grief counselor (yes a grief counselor)  I don't know what I would do without mine. 

She is a true blessing and has helped me through this journey without me losing my mind.  so my motto is, stay busy, laugh as much as you can and love every day and all the people that support you as much as you can.

Cathy K

You have such a good attitude Cathy K.  I'm sending hugs and praying for you too!

Rose

I am so sorry that you are having to feel the wsy you are feeling. Its hard enough to have cancer but on top of that whether you have boobs or not.  

I had breast cancer in 2011. I had to do chemo first then double mastectomy then radiation.  I had 6 month of no boobs and thought it was pretty nice. I did opt to have reconstruction and a tram flap. That went from good to very very bad in a quick hurry.  I got septic and went into kidney failure and liver failure and had e coli. Spent 29 days in the hospital.  All to get my boobs back. If I could do all over again I perhaps would go without. 

In your heart of hearts if you do not want to do another surgery and dont care about having breasts than by god DONT. Its not worth it.  I cant believe your feeling pressure from your doctor.  You need to set that straight in a hurry. He ir she needs to be on your side. Make sure he knows your on the fence about it. One hurdle at a time. Chemo first. Talk to your hubby hes probably just as scared as you. talk it through. Not something that has to be done right now.

Take care. One day at a time. This is only a bump in the road.

Ittybitty

What exactly do you mean, Michael11?

arkansasgirl said:

Hi
I was diagnosed in March

Hi

I was diagnosed in March 2009 with a very rare agressive breast cancer. I was 53 and been married for 33yrs. I immediatly knew what I wanted - both breast removed - and no reconstruction - done deal.  My husband was 200 % with me... They don't make me and I can live without them and I was done with surgery. Yes I have been mistaken by some calling me a man or sir due to fact I wear ball caps /short hair - but once I speak  or they see my face they know they goofed up... I laugh about it because I got this - You have to do what makes you comfortable and no one else. Cancer does more than effects our bodies. It plays havoc on our minds and you have to tell your self you are going to win this battle. My motto has been cancer won the battle but the war is not over. I have been cancer free up till August 2012 when the type of breast cancer I had formed a mass on my adrenal gland. By the time I found it (my blood work is ALWAYS PERFECT) it was 5cm and by the time I had surgery is was 9cm. I lost my left adrenal gland and spleen. It was attached to my aorta also but as of today I cancer free again. All my lymph nodes have been clear. Chemo and Radiation has no effect on this either.  So if you feel you need them then go for it. I figure I had  them for so long and always lookin for comfortable bras and yes I was blessed if you know what I mean - I said its a done deal. There are some women I think it means the world to the them. So most important  - don't worry about everybody else - if giving them up saved your life - who cares - your still on this earth with family and friends. Hope this helps  STAY STRONG AND NEVER GIVE UP...:)

Take care

Arkansasgirl

 

 

I was very young at 36 and like Agirl I knew what I wanted though I didn't get it and I knew breast did not make or break me from a very young age.  Unlike most women my sexuality is not attached to body parts and having a Grandmother who died after being treated only made it more concrete for me.

YES I had a very aggressive form of IDC breast cancer along with the triple negative and 11 out of 21 pos nodes as well.  I wanted double mastectomy but due to stage 3 diagnosis I was advised to treat side with cancer then have the second one removed.  I did have second removed after more lumps and a year almost to day from first one being removed.  No more cancer though one great thing after chemo and radiation as well.

I did not have reconstruction due to complication from just having surgery I couldn't imagine more pain and suffering so chose not to...  I actually as a child use to wish for no breasts so I could run topless like my brother could guess I finally got my wish.  I have no regrets and we all must be able to say the same...  We all must be able to look ourselves in the mirror each and every day and I am grateful to be able to that very thing.  Men now look me in the eye something they rarely did, lolol

Be good to yourself always

Tara

I am speaking as someone who "does" want reconstruction. I found it mortifying to not have a breast. I have had an expander in and filled and will be doing reconstruction with implants in about 10 days. Every woman is different. Some never want any kind of surgery and some want to get a breast back that looks somewhat natural. Tell everyone what you want and don't want to hear anymore. Good Luck!