Checking in

forme
forme Member Posts: 1,161 Member
in Lymphoma (Hodgkin and Non-Hodgkin) #1

Hello Dearhearts

 

It's been way too long since I said hello. I do follow all your posts, and keep you all close.

Summer has kept me very busy, flying cross country multiple times. I am in the midst of planning my next flight. Ugg

I have been buring my head in the sand, and trying to avoid docs and tests and everything that goes along with that. The big fear creeps in and I just seem to freeze.

I know that there are medical issues to be addressed and I know that I will. Just need to get my courage up. I seem to be sorely lacking in courage these days.

I am planning on getting the BRCA testing done within the month. For those of you who don't know what that is, it is a genetic test that tells you about your likely chances of getting breast and ovarian cancer. Since my risk is already elevated because of the ovarian tumors and my family history of breast and ovarian cancer, it is the smart test to have done. I have daughters and granddaughters. So if I test positive, then this will help them be very proactive. If I test negative, then we keep looking for the genetic link. With all the cancer I have and had and all that is in my family, well it's just scary to think about..

My immediate health concerns are still fatigue, which may just be the way it will be and still having pain issues. That scares me the most.

Gosh I sound like such a scardycat, and I am usually so much stronger that that. I think life and all the health stuff has just worn me down.

I feel like an old timer in the cancer world, but still I find it hard some days to just feel positive and not afraid of the tomorrows.

Huge hugs to all, and know that I think of you all the time.

Lisha

 

Comments

  • jimwins
    jimwins Member Posts: 2,107
    #2
    Hi Lisha!

    Huge hugs back!  I think you are far from a scaredy cat :).  Hmmm how about a northern California mountain lion or a San Francisco "Saber Tooth"? :)  

    I think the genetic testing is a good idea - particulary for your family to be proactive.  Though I have been out of the danger zone for some time now, I do understand the "worn down" feeling.  I think part of that is coming with age with me also.  I went with a friend to Atlanta recently who has taken a nice job there and we went out to a few clubs one night.  Though i enjoyed it, I kinda felt like "grandpa" or at least "daddy" there ;).  It did take me back to those long ago disco days when I was out acting a fool, staying up all night and having breakfast in the wee hours and maybe "sinning" a little ;).

    I'm sorry you are still experiencing fatigue and pain and hope that improves. I think "fear of tomorrows" is something we call all relate to here.  I have good and bad days and haven't posted much recently here  but I think of everyone often.  I've been kind of busy with a few changes in my life and domestic duties (the ones I can do anyway).  I know I'm experiencing mild depression but it's nothing I can't handle at this point.  Recently I've really missed my sister and my mom too - they have been showing up in dreams but for the most part they aren't bad dreams:).  My sister's husband is planning to move about an hour away probably in the spring and that's bothering me a little.  He and I visit and have dinner often which has been good for both of us - especially since the loss of my sister.  But it is what it is and I will adjust - an hour is not that far away and he'll be near most of my family too.

    Maybe you guys can join Sue in a fishing venture to get you out of your routine?  I hear cats like fish :). 

    Hang in there sweet lady!

    Warm and sincere hugs,

    Jim

  • forme
    forme Member Posts: 1,161 Member
    #3
    jimwins said:

    Hi Lisha!

    Huge hugs back!  I think you are far from a scaredy cat :).  Hmmm how about a northern California mountain lion or a San Francisco "Saber Tooth"? :)  

    I think the genetic testing is a good idea - particulary for your family to be proactive.  Though I have been out of the danger zone for some time now, I do understand the "worn down" feeling.  I think part of that is coming with age with me also.  I went with a friend to Atlanta recently who has taken a nice job there and we went out to a few clubs one night.  Though i enjoyed it, I kinda felt like "grandpa" or at least "daddy" there ;).  It did take me back to those long ago disco days when I was out acting a fool, staying up all night and having breakfast in the wee hours and maybe "sinning" a little ;).

    I'm sorry you are still experiencing fatigue and pain and hope that improves. I think "fear of tomorrows" is something we call all relate to here.  I have good and bad days and haven't posted much recently here  but I think of everyone often.  I've been kind of busy with a few changes in my life and domestic duties (the ones I can do anyway).  I know I'm experiencing mild depression but it's nothing I can't handle at this point.  Recently I've really missed my sister and my mom too - they have been showing up in dreams but for the most part they aren't bad dreams:).  My sister's husband is planning to move about an hour away probably in the spring and that's bothering me a little.  He and I visit and have dinner often which has been good for both of us - especially since the loss of my sister.  But it is what it is and I will adjust - an hour is not that far away and he'll be near most of my family too.

    Maybe you guys can join Sue in a fishing venture to get you out of your routine?  I hear cats like fish :). 

    Hang in there sweet lady!

    Warm and sincere hugs,

    Jim

    Thanks

    Hi Jim

    Thanks for the warm words. Seems like these days I need a few.

    I can really relate to missing your sister and your mom. Every trip to Florida just brings me right back to missing my brother so much. And I miss my mom every day!

    Hopefully the FL  business will sell and I can move past that part. It's all so bittersweet.

    Stay well my friend and enjoy life the best you can.

    Huge hugs to you

    Lisha

  • Rocquie
    Rocquie Member Posts: 869 Member
    #4
    forme said:

    Thanks

    Hi Jim

    Thanks for the warm words. Seems like these days I need a few.

    I can really relate to missing your sister and your mom. Every trip to Florida just brings me right back to missing my brother so much. And I miss my mom every day!

    Hopefully the FL  business will sell and I can move past that part. It's all so bittersweet.

    Stay well my friend and enjoy life the best you can.

    Huge hugs to you

    Lisha

    Greetings

    Hi, Lisha. It is good to hear from you. It sounds like you are staying busy as usual. Been parasailing lately?

    Hi Jim, it is good to see you out and about. I've been wondering where you've been. . .

     

    Rocquie

     

  • jimwins
    jimwins Member Posts: 2,107
    #5
    forme said:

    Thanks

    Hi Jim

    Thanks for the warm words. Seems like these days I need a few.

    I can really relate to missing your sister and your mom. Every trip to Florida just brings me right back to missing my brother so much. And I miss my mom every day!

    Hopefully the FL  business will sell and I can move past that part. It's all so bittersweet.

    Stay well my friend and enjoy life the best you can.

    Huge hugs to you

    Lisha

    Thanks

    Thanks Lisha.  I'm hanging in there.  Laughing

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