New here

Elthia, what a crappy hand you've been dealt. You have every right to feel angry, frightened, frustrated, and depressed. I would do the same in your shoes. When I was first diagnosed (last month) I hated it when people said to cheer up, think positive thoughts, it could be worse...it's like they were denying me my right to feel devasted and sorry for myself. I found a psychologist who was my savior...she gave me permission to be pissed off, shout at the unfairness of it all, and indeed, said I was perfectly normal for wanting to own those feelings. I'm an accountant so not having answers was killing me. Things need to add up, even if the total is a negative, it's still a total. So I delved into educating myself. I picked the Johns Hopkins website, the Mayo Clinic website, and Susan G Komen. I researched everything that could go right and what could go wrong. I carried out each scenario to it's logical end. I began to feel a sense of control again because I knew what to expect, good or bad, no matter what the next twist or turn brought. Some people said I was morbid or scaring myself unnecessarily, but it did just the opposite. Knowledge is power. I had a list of questions for the doctors and took along a support person to each appointment. The docs were great. Yes, that particular thing could happen...but if it did, here's what they would do. Fear lessened and I ended up feeling like I was in a great strong hammock, swinging in the breeze, but in no danger of falling. I was peaceful and supported when I went into surgery. My wish for you is that you continue to acknowledge your feelings and fears, work through them with help from as many smart people as you can find, and continue to come here for understanding and support. We know. We've been there.

I was dx IIB IIIC, had chemo, bilateral mast, then rads.  I worked full time through the whole thing,  The only concession at work was I left an hour early for the rads each day. Also had  5cm tumor and lymphnode involvement 15/17 positive, hormone positive her2 neg. 

That was in 2002.  and I am still here!!! Doing ok so far and they monitor me carefully.

See??????  It's doable

Scary right now, ya and the waiting is the hardest.  But this is all doable.  Our mantra   one day at a time.

We totally understand your fear, sadness, betrayal, forced menopause...all that. Just know you WILL get through this. You're determined and I love your statement..."I don't feel sick". Most of us didn't when diagnosed. So keep that thought strong. I always spoke of cancer as this thing. It wasn't in me but rather this unwelcomed intruder who's not allowed to stay. Whatever analogy you use, make it one that strenthens you and helps you.

Praying for you!

Sylvia

Cricket64 said:

I agree with what you said,

I agree with what you said, and what others responded to you.  This cancer journey is HARD, just plain HARD!  But, you've already made a huge positive step, which I delayed doing, you have joined this network.  Everyone here, has their own story about cancer to share, you will find some of our journeys will over lap with yours, and some not.  BUT, having a place to both vent and receive help for others will be a good thing.  May angels walk next to you on your journey, as will everyone on this blog.  My limited additional advice, would be to find a really good friend or two, who will know when you need to vent, and talk about your cancer journey, but who also will know, when you just want to be 'you', and pretend for a few hours that you are not a cancer patient.

 

Hi, I post only occasionaly, but read often and benefit from much of the great advice. I just have to agree with you on the help I received from having a friend that came to see me every Thursday and we got to a point where we didn't even bring up the "cancer" topic for just an hour or two each week. We talked kids, clothes, food, garden, gossip, or whatever came up. My nails were growing long probably because I wasn't doing housework like I used to and she would bring polish and we'd do manicures. Her visits were crucial in my recovery.

mollyz said:

Just stopped by to say welcome''

Hi and welcome to the boards,I never know really what to say to a new comer because i know what and how  you feel, it's over whelming, just know there's some ladies here are able to guide you and give you a lot of good advice, make sure you understand we're all different so don't think some one else's story is like yours and get scared, we all have simlier stories and diagnoses but still not the same.~~MollyZ~~

to 'OUR' Sisterhood of loving, caring, as well as Supportive Sisters / Brothers in Pink.   I am however sorry for the reason you had to find us ..  

Please know that we are here for you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week -- and there's no waiting in line.

Strength, Courage and HOPE for a Cure.

Vicki Sam

Started chemo yet?  Each of us shares their own version of the same story to share, so here is mine, perhaps it will help.  I was absolutely teriffied of chemo, teriffied!  But followed every single bit of advice my medical support team gave me regarding what to do pre/post infusions, and other than the extreme fatigue I experienced, and the hair loss (which to me, meant, at that point everyone knew I had cancer) for me, the anticipation was worse than the participation.  Good luck.