Leaving..................

Where did you go??????

ladyg said:

Yes, Please

pm those of us who want to go there too.

Hugs,

Georgia

This site is so unreliable!

bluewillo said:

yes please

This site is so unreliable!

I am furious about your post, Kylez.  I've been here for over 3 years and there have often been ups and downs and disagreements.   Breast cancer is an emotional experience.   I sorely miss many of the older members and the comraderie that we once had.  Members come and go and some members die.  But there will always be new members finding this site who will come hre for kindness, hope, and information and I hope some of us will not jump ship when the waters get rough from time to time so we can be here for them. 

And now I suppose I'm being mean spiritied . . . and starting another attack, but I feel really insulted and abandoned. 

Suzanne

However, I think this site has been so valuable.  I have learned so much, and hopefully, my knowledge has also helped others.  Of course there are going to be differences from time to time, after all, you do not go through this experience and get to the other side without gaining strengh.  Get a room full of strong women (I am not including the men in this, as I don't believe they have been involved in any of the disagreements), and you will have differing opinions, which is what makes this site so special. 

We have all gone through bc, but that does not mean that we will all have the same experiences.  For some, it has been an easier ride.  This will always be the case.  Meds will work better for some than others, some may have a stronger support system at home, have better doctors,  may be more informed, or come to ned and remain there for their lifetime.  We do not know what financial situations some of us are in, as well as how they are treated with cancer on thier jobs.  Many lose jobs in the name of 'something else' when they know perfectly well that it was the cancer that was really behind it.  Sometimes we have children, adult or still at home with issues or special needs.  Some have lost homes, friendships and so many have had parents, other family members, or close friends die while they are dealing with this disease.  And some of us have children, family and friends who are also going through cancers, other medical issues, addictions etc... 

All of this being said, some may not be as adept in expressing their feelings. What is meant to be supportive may come off as harsh... which usually is not anyones intention.  And truly, there will always be a few who are not nice, and may not know how to show empathy for others.  They may always believe that the way they think or feel is the only right way.

In all reality though, probably 99.9% of us who are here come to this board because we need the support, or have needed it at one time and will stick around to try give back.  Hurtful comments have been posted when others do not agree with them, but overall in the time I have been here, that has not been too often, and it came from the same people.  Who knows what they were going through at the time, or being brutally honest may just be their way. 

Overall, This site has been amazing for me. I have learned so much from everyone.  Some I have just clicked with, others not so much, but I only wish the best for each and everyone.  I am always excited when some move on, but stop in with updates!  I love the good news, funny stories, and have laughed and cried through so many posts. 

It is always rough with cancer because the nature of the disease is that people die!  Seems like Moopy was the first for me on here, and there have been many remarkable women, both young and more mature since then, but everyone of them touched my life in a positive way.  

It is the differences and the willingness of so many to share their stories that has helped get us through rough times, and being human, life is not always sugar and spice.  I wish all of you who have decided that this site is no longer what you want it to be, a lifetime of NED.  I haven't noticed a change, or 'cliques', mainly that the board has changed with losing some amazing women who were awesome contributors, and already we have others who are really standing out and amazing, as the radiologist says, too numourous to count. We unfortunately (if they are here it is because they have cancer) get so many new members, and each is special and everyone who posts on this board contributes to our knowledge and hopefully teaches us to respect others opinions (we do not have to agree, just respond respectfully), and I hope that we continue to have empathy for those going through a rough time.  I love how many new members are so active!

Sorry this ran on, but there are so many wonderful people here, that I would hate to have new members feel that this is not a 'support group', because there is so much love and support here, and so many loving women, men, both survivors and caregivers. 

Kylez, I am so sorry that you feel this and felt a need to leave.  I wish you and all that follow you the best and that you remain NED forever!

camul said:

I know there have been differences from time to time....

However, I think this site has been so valuable.  I have learned so much, and hopefully, my knowledge has also helped others.  Of course there are going to be differences from time to time, after all, you do not go through this experience and get to the other side without gaining strengh.  Get a room full of strong women (I am not including the men in this, as I don't believe they have been involved in any of the disagreements), and you will have differing opinions, which is what makes this site so special. 

We have all gone through bc, but that does not mean that we will all have the same experiences.  For some, it has been an easier ride.  This will always be the case.  Meds will work better for some than others, some may have a stronger support system at home, have better doctors,  may be more informed, or come to ned and remain there for their lifetime.  We do not know what financial situations some of us are in, as well as how they are treated with cancer on thier jobs.  Many lose jobs in the name of 'something else' when they know perfectly well that it was the cancer that was really behind it.  Sometimes we have children, adult or still at home with issues or special needs.  Some have lost homes, friendships and so many have had parents, other family members, or close friends die while they are dealing with this disease.  And some of us have children, family and friends who are also going through cancers, other medical issues, addictions etc... 

All of this being said, some may not be as adept in expressing their feelings. What is meant to be supportive may come off as harsh... which usually is not anyones intention.  And truly, there will always be a few who are not nice, and may not know how to show empathy for others.  They may always believe that the way they think or feel is the only right way.

In all reality though, probably 99.9% of us who are here come to this board because we need the support, or have needed it at one time and will stick around to try give back.  Hurtful comments have been posted when others do not agree with them, but overall in the time I have been here, that has not been too often, and it came from the same people.  Who knows what they were going through at the time, or being brutally honest may just be their way. 

Overall, This site has been amazing for me. I have learned so much from everyone.  Some I have just clicked with, others not so much, but I only wish the best for each and everyone.  I am always excited when some move on, but stop in with updates!  I love the good news, funny stories, and have laughed and cried through so many posts. 

It is always rough with cancer because the nature of the disease is that people die!  Seems like Moopy was the first for me on here, and there have been many remarkable women, both young and more mature since then, but everyone of them touched my life in a positive way.  

It is the differences and the willingness of so many to share their stories that has helped get us through rough times, and being human, life is not always sugar and spice.  I wish all of you who have decided that this site is no longer what you want it to be, a lifetime of NED.  I haven't noticed a change, or 'cliques', mainly that the board has changed with losing some amazing women who were awesome contributors, and already we have others who are really standing out and amazing, as the radiologist says, too numourous to count. We unfortunately (if they are here it is because they have cancer) get so many new members, and each is special and everyone who posts on this board contributes to our knowledge and hopefully teaches us to respect others opinions (we do not have to agree, just respond respectfully), and I hope that we continue to have empathy for those going through a rough time.  I love how many new members are so active!

Sorry this ran on, but there are so many wonderful people here, that I would hate to have new members feel that this is not a 'support group', because there is so much love and support here, and so many loving women, men, both survivors and caregivers. 

Kylez, I am so sorry that you feel this and felt a need to leave.  I wish you and all that follow you the best and that you remain NED forever!

Suzanne, while I don't feel as angry as you do, I agree very much with what you've said.

When I was going through chemo, and radiation, starting Tamoxifen, fighting to recover from treatment, and freaking out through every mammogram...the folks on this site -- many of you who are still here -- were here for me day after day, year after year, to support me, get angry with me, and share your journey with me.

I still need your support sometimes, and it's very possible that someday I may have to go through it all over again, and will need you even more. And sometimes one of you has a question I can answer, or I can share a story that may help, or a silly joke to make you smile when you need it.   

Some folks feel this board isn't the right place for them anymore, and everyone has to do what's right for them.  But for me -- this is my community.  I believe a "community" is someplace where you stick around and try to contribute in whatever way you can, even when the going gets rough.  I believe that what I get from this community is well worth the effort.  I'm not going anywhere.

Traci

TraciInLA said:

Not angry...and not going anywhere

Suzanne, while I don't feel as angry as you do, I agree very much with what you've said.

When I was going through chemo, and radiation, starting Tamoxifen, fighting to recover from treatment, and freaking out through every mammogram...the folks on this site -- many of you who are still here -- were here for me day after day, year after year, to support me, get angry with me, and share your journey with me.

I still need your support sometimes, and it's very possible that someday I may have to go through it all over again, and will need you even more. And sometimes one of you has a question I can answer, or I can share a story that may help, or a silly joke to make you smile when you need it.   

Some folks feel this board isn't the right place for them anymore, and everyone has to do what's right for them.  But for me -- this is my community.  I believe a "community" is someplace where you stick around and try to contribute in whatever way you can, even when the going gets rough.  I believe that what I get from this community is well worth the effort.  I'm not going anywhere.

Traci

 

 

 

 

I've read some comments and opinions on this site that make me uncomfortable and that I don't agree with.  Then again I haven't read anywhere on this site that we all had to agree with everyone else.  Each person's comments and experiences are their personal thoughts and history.  Often we may get emotional, but look what we are going through.  No one (in my opinion) is trying to hurt or put someone else down.  The written word can easily be misinterpreted due to missing gestures and voice inflictions.  We need to be gentle with each other.

I don't know about everyone on this site, but I would not have been able to make it through the last several months without the support and advice from sisters on this site.

Personally, I would like to thank everyone on this site for their openness and willingness to share their experiences in fighting this cruel disease.  It takes guts.

I'm sorry some feel hurt or offended and feel they must go elsewhere for support.  My prayers go with you and I hope you find what you need.

For those who are staying, I give my heart-felt thanks.

Sandy

Not posting much so not sure what happened. My biggest problem is I've forgot a lot of details. I was diagnose 2003. I've seen conflicts from time to time. I've had Parkinsons since 2006. having problems of memory. But I guess I'll have to make a better effort. If some want to leave than that is their choIce. We all have to decide what support is most helpful. Some can find help in more than one site. It's all been done before. 

Did I tell you I forget sometimes? Lol. Sometimes you just have to laugh. 

I guess I am truly clueless because I don't even know what is going on.  I sometimes read posts that I don't agree with, but I just move on.  I am staying but I wish you the very best and hope you come back!

TraciInLA said:

A club that would have me as a member...

The posts here asking how to join the new online discussion group Kylez mentions make me sad, because they remind me of what's so great -- and yes, sometimes so frustrating -- about this board.  

This board is open to everyone.  You don't have to be invited, you don't have to be one of the cool kids, you don't have to know any super secret password.  And we're easy to find, through the American Cancer Society site.

And that means we end up with spam, with occasional full-on imposters, and with cranky comments from fragile human beings who have cancer and who are making their way through hell as best they can.

Oh, and -- we have to put up with Stef, too...

And, because this board is open to everyone, we also end up with all of you: the warm welcomes, huge cyberhugs, crazy trips on the Pink Bus, laughing and crying together that has kept me going more times than I can count.  

16th-century martyr Francis David is said to have written: We need not think alike to love alike.  I don't think he had breast cancer, and I doubt he'd ever posted on a website...nonetheless, he knew what he was talking about.

Traci

 

 

Everyone is entitled to voice their concerns/problems/questions here. I am happy with the comments I get on here and I pray for all the pink sisters every night. I see posts that I don't always agree with, but, that's ok. I am happy here and so appreciative for the comments, information and advice I get. Thank you all and I will not be going any where.

Dolores

TraciInLA said:

Not angry...and not going anywhere

Suzanne, while I don't feel as angry as you do, I agree very much with what you've said.

When I was going through chemo, and radiation, starting Tamoxifen, fighting to recover from treatment, and freaking out through every mammogram...the folks on this site -- many of you who are still here -- were here for me day after day, year after year, to support me, get angry with me, and share your journey with me.

I still need your support sometimes, and it's very possible that someday I may have to go through it all over again, and will need you even more. And sometimes one of you has a question I can answer, or I can share a story that may help, or a silly joke to make you smile when you need it.   

Some folks feel this board isn't the right place for them anymore, and everyone has to do what's right for them.  But for me -- this is my community.  I believe a "community" is someplace where you stick around and try to contribute in whatever way you can, even when the going gets rough.  I believe that what I get from this community is well worth the effort.  I'm not going anywhere.

Traci

 

 

 

 

and I agree. I joined the boards "after" I went through my diagnosis, treatment and many surgeries. I think I was finishing up Tamoxifen. But although I was "post" cancer, I found this board so comforting with all the advice, opinions, shared feelings and humorous jokes. We are all unique and different so it's expected to have a few disagreements or clashing once in awhile. But I'd like to think that taking consideration the fragility of life and how precious it is, we don't sweat the small, trivial stuff. We can overlook and see that the big picture is that we are all here at different stages of our walks, helping when we can, praying and wishing one another well.

I'll miss your posts and continue to pray for all my pink sisters daily.

Love, peace and hugs,

Sylvia