Mom most likely to be diagnosed with Stage IV Colon Cancer

Trubrit said:

The scariest time

You, your mum and family are at the scariest time of the journey; diagnosis.  I and many others have found that once we get a handle on the problem, get the surgery out of the way and start the chemo regime, then the stress level goes down becasue you gain a feeling of doing something.

If you (and mum) haven't done so already, get yourself a couple of note books (I got a school standard one and a pretty one). In one, write down any and every question that crosses your mind about the cancer, the treatment, what is happening to the body and mind, and when you see the Oncologist, go through them one by one. Nothing is too small or to silly to talk about. I always iike to mention how I asked my Dr. if using baby poweder had caused my cancer. He laughed in a friendly way, but I got my answer. 

The second notebook is for your mum. I personally took my vitals (blood pressure, pulse, heart rate) every day, but write down everything. Feel tired, feel sick, eyelashes falling out, tongue got the fuzz, put it all down. Mood swings, emotions, I found it very theraputic to keep a record of what was happenig every day. 

These are just ideas of course. We are all diffenrent, and we travel this journey in our own way, so just sharing what worked for me doesn't mean it will work for your mum. 

You have discovered a great forum. So much knowledge here amoung its members. Please come often, share, weep, rant, we're here for you, and thus for your mother. 

Oh, and try your bet to keep your stress level down as that will really help mum. Hard I know, but it will be for the best. 

Blessings!

Thnk you too Trubrit.  I am sitting here in the hospital room, my mom only about 4 hours out of surgery and about 5 since the doctors talked to me.  Mom is still out of it and is not yet aware of the complete diagnosis & need for chemo.  I am trying to stay strong and not cry & keep down the stress but I am not succeeding.  I keep thinking how I will tell her when she wakes and sees it all in my eyes....

This is helping a little & I am sure it will only help more as time continues.  I will be here often & look forward to the support I receive now and will hopefully provide in time

unknown said:

Where to start

All the comments are right on target. You've come to a great site. My only addition to the spot-on advice is the first step, after giving yourselves a few days for letting all the overwhelming questions and feelings soak in, start with finding the right oncologist for her. Choosing an oncologist might seem easy since your PCP, surgeon, & gastroenterologist will refer you.  Do your own research. Cancer Treatment Centers of America have an excellent track record, but I found their indoctrination and introduction day to be overwhelming by itself and my insurance was not in their coverage. I live in Fort Worth Tx and we have Texas Oncology which is a subsidary of US Oncology. US Oncology has followed Houston MD Anderson programs and most of US Oncology oncologists have fellowship degrees from MD Anderson. However US Oncology has gotten so big and has such a good success record  that thay have their own development and research facilities now.

Where to start with choosing an onc is from friends and relations who have cancer. Ask about their experiences with the docs and staff. Did the onc answer their questions and spend time with them? Were options explained and discussed. Many of us with cancer have years of experience and have no reservations with open discussions about treatments and support. The main thing is not to go into chemo with expectations of being sick all the time. Some do not tolerate it well, but many of us tolerate it with only a few side effects and are able to maintain our activities of daily living with only a few concessions. Cancer is not a death sentence any more. It's a challenge for you to overcome and face as a step by step, day by day attitude of being the one who beat it.

Dan   

Hello again friends,

I wanted to update you on mom and get more feedback.  One of her surgeons was in today and said she came thru surgery with flying colors and they are confident they got all of the cancer (2 colon tumors and mets to right ovary).  She was started back on a liquid diet today which she is extremely happy about!!!!  She also met her oncologist, who she seems to like (I was not here) and he told her Chemo once every 2 weeks for about 6 months.  I guess that works out to about 12 treatments.  Has anyone else had it in this manner?   Also, for when we go for the office visit in about 3 weeks, could you all throw out some names of Chemo drugs that you have had, side effects etc?  Mom seems more concerned about the Chemo than the diagnosis itself.  

Thank you to all of my new friends & those to come,

Christie

PS:  just realized I never told you mom's name is Julie.

traci43 said:

sorry to hear this

Cammie - I was diagnosed 6 years ago with stage IV at 45 years old.  Mets to ovary (5 pounds!) and omentum and one small primary tumor in the colon.  I had surgery to remove tumors and chemo and a couple of recurrances since then, but I'm still working full time and living life.  As others have said it's a scary time until you have a game plan, which will likely include chemo.  There are so many people here with lots of good information to help you, your mom, and other newbies.  Take a deep breath and take things day by day.  I hope your mom recovers from surgery and does well with the chemo.  The standard treatment, while not fun, it relatively tolerable for most people.  Some folks even work through the treatment.  More and more, Doctors are treating even stage IV colon cancer as chronic and not as just pallative.  We'll be here when you need us.  Traci

Traci,

It is encouraging to hear of all of the successes and survival.  I am so happy to hear  that you are living life.  Thank you for the Chemo "warning"  mom is more afraid of that I think than the diagnosis!

Christie

unknown said:

Where to start

All the comments are right on target. You've come to a great site. My only addition to the spot-on advice is the first step, after giving yourselves a few days for letting all the overwhelming questions and feelings soak in, start with finding the right oncologist for her. Choosing an oncologist might seem easy since your PCP, surgeon, & gastroenterologist will refer you.  Do your own research. Cancer Treatment Centers of America have an excellent track record, but I found their indoctrination and introduction day to be overwhelming by itself and my insurance was not in their coverage. I live in Fort Worth Tx and we have Texas Oncology which is a subsidary of US Oncology. US Oncology has followed Houston MD Anderson programs and most of US Oncology oncologists have fellowship degrees from MD Anderson. However US Oncology has gotten so big and has such a good success record  that thay have their own development and research facilities now.

Where to start with choosing an onc is from friends and relations who have cancer. Ask about their experiences with the docs and staff. Did the onc answer their questions and spend time with them? Were options explained and discussed. Many of us with cancer have years of experience and have no reservations with open discussions about treatments and support. The main thing is not to go into chemo with expectations of being sick all the time. Some do not tolerate it well, but many of us tolerate it with only a few side effects and are able to maintain our activities of daily living with only a few concessions. Cancer is not a death sentence any more. It's a challenge for you to overcome and face as a step by step, day by day attitude of being the one who beat it.

Dan   

Dan,

I don't know if you have seen some of my other comments, but mom is most worried about the Chemo.  moreso than the diagnosis itself.  She is exhausted today (2nd day post-op) so when she is ready I will read her exactly what you wrote.  And once home I plan on getting her on here so she can ask questions from her side of things.  I will tell her of all of the wonderful people I have already met and  the incredible love & support I have experienced in just 3 days.  I don't know really how I found this site because I wasn't looking for a support group.  And to be honest, I never would have thought of myself as needing one.  But I do and it was God's work!

You all will be the ones who beat it, mom included!!!

Christie

Lovekitties said:

Dear Christie

I am glad that you found this site and that you feel it is helping you.

I had a rectal tumor and only did surgery.  However my sister has endometrial cancer and was also concerned about having to do chemo after her surgery.  She is stage 4.  One of the thngs that I remined her of was that if the chemo becomes too difficult to handle or severely impacts quality of life, you can always stop.  Another thing that helped was that her onc. office had a 1 hour group meeting for new patients to tell them what to expect and what to do when things come up during treatment.  This was a great help because it gave assurance that all of the staff was on the "team" to support the patient.

Another important thing to remember, is that every person is unique and not all suffer the same side effects. 

If your mom goes for chemo, it will be important that she immediately communicates any issues with her onc.  My sister's onc has an after hours number to call for anything from fever, to nausea, to more severe side effects.  There are pre-meds and prescriptions which can be given to help midigate most of them.

Wishing your mom all the best.  She is lucky to have you on her "team".

Marie who loves kitties

Marie,

Thank you so much!  I didn't realize there were prescriptions that could be given to help.  I will tell my mom today when I get to the hospital, that may calm her.  Also, thank you for the info about the after hours number and meeting on what to expect.  I will be calling the onc office today to see if those things are offerred, along with anything else.  I feel so blessed to have found this site and all of you!  

Christie