Allow me a little closure....Please

Tethys41
Tethys41 Member Posts: 1,382 Member
in Ovarian Cancer #1

I’ve been here a mere three years.  Some of you have been here longer than I.  Some here are new to me.  Some, who were here when I joined, are gone.  I deeply miss my dear friend, CarolenK (aka LaudryQueen), who I met here years ago.  I still cry when I think of her. She was an amazing, well-read woman.   

I’ve observed a lot of dynamics in my time here and on other “support” boards.  Some are amazing and magical, and a few are bitter and destructive.  I am amazed at the support and love so many of you offer.  When someone is in despair, this is definitely the place to come for support.  When someone comes with good news, this is a place to celebrate. 

I joined after I was NED.  I’ve tried to convey hope and possibilities with regard to this disease.  I’ve been blessed with celebration and joy by some, who find inspiration in my story and the information I’ve shared, and contempt by others, who, for whatever reason, have issues with my message.  Some have privately inquired to learn more.  Others have argued and attacked me for the things I’ve tried to share, things I’ve learned about cancer through research, through my contact with integrative practitioners (who look at the whole body, not just the tumor), and through oncologists from Mexico (who are not restricted by standards imposed by the FDA). 

It’s amazing, really.  Cancer holds little mystery for me anymore.  I feel no fear around it.  I see what causes it, how to manage it, how to stay NED.  It is not something that just happens, out of the blue, for no reason.  Many things lead up to it.  Dare I say that it even appears to me that cancer may be an evolutionary adaptation that is aimed at protecting healthy cells from too much of a bad thing?  Oops, that would be my education in evolution and extinction talking.  But I’m not a doctor, and many people tend to believe that only medical doctors can understand cancer.  Despite their poor success rate with treating it, doctors are still viewed by many as the only ones with answers.

I’ve tried to share some insights here and on two other boards.  But too often, I’ve been targeted as a result of my interest in helping others.  I discontinued posting on other boards months ago because of it, and have only occasionally been posting here.  I’ve been told that I think I’m a doctor, I’ve been told that the source of my  information is lying, I’ve been told that I’ll feel stupid when I recur, and the latest attack consisted of this person sending an e-mail to my ND telling her that I am posting “all over the internet” and am out of control. 

Honestly, I am tired; tired of the ridiculousness and cowardliness of these attacks; tired of being stalked and harassed.  I can see that this anonymous person, LoveCali, KitchenWitch, Tealperson, whatever the name du jour is now, is a very hateful person.  I’m sorry that she feels the need to lash out and very sorry that I am her target. 

But she has won.  As much passion as I have for helping women understand that they have options with regard to addressing this disease, I realize that I have nothing to gain by continuing to do so, and am putting myself at risk the longer I try. 

So, it is with great sadness that I leave this group, but with the hope that all of you find a way to get and stay healthy.  May you have many occasions to celebrate and few moments of despair.

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Comments

  • kikz
    kikz Member Posts: 1,345 Member
    #2
    I am so sorry for what you

    I am so sorry for what you have experienced.  I had no idea this was going on.  I remember a couple of times when the posts got a little heated.  I even chimed in with others saying we want everyone to be able to express their thoughts and opinions.  I have admired your perseverance with the plan you have chosen to follow.  I have googled some of the things you have posted and admit I didn't think I had the resolve to follow them.  Not because I didn't see value in them, I guess I didn't want to give up my lifestyle.

    I hate the thought that someone that has gone through what we all have can be so judgemental and unkind.  I am sure the other ladies will join me in asking you to stay.  This is not a place for bullies.  The only bully here is cancer and you know how we feel about that.

  • mopar
    mopar Member Posts: 1,972 Member
    #3
    SO SORRY TO SEE YOU GO

    I understand your weariness, but nonetheless sad to hear that this sort of drama has caused you to leave us.  This board is intended to forge friendships, share information, lift eachother up in the darkest of our hours.  In my 10 years here I believe it has done all that and more, but has not been without the occasional problem of certain individuals, not as a whole.  Aside from the 'spam' or 'quackery' that has infiltrated these discussions from time to time, I believe sharing our thoughts, tips and approaches to this horrible disease is instrumental in our emotional and physical healing.  And whether or not someone believes in what I choose to do or wants to follow suit, is irrelevent.  And I surely wouldn't put someone down for their own choices.  What works for me may not work for you, and vice-versa.  But how wonderful that we can be open to the multitude of possibilities!  Shame on those who use this forum (or any other) to criticize and condemn.

    Personally, I have found your posts to be inspirational and supportive.  And I am grateful that the methods you have chosen have been so beneficial to you - nothing 'out of control' about that.  Dare I say that those who choose to harrass you are actually bullies who probably have no peace or continuity in their own lives - how sad.

    I would ask you to reconsider, but understand your need for closure.  Having said that, I will personally miss you.  I will continue to pray for you, and I hope that you will find renewed strength and peace.  

    (((HUGS)))
    Monika

     

  • JulieBelle
    JulieBelle Member Posts: 61
    #4
    So sad to read this

    I too have always enjoyed your wonderfully considered and researched posts.   Your presence on this board is very important and I do hope you will reconsider leaving us.  I cannot understand the behaviour of the attacker(s) - please don't let them win - I am sure the majority of us would want you to stay.  A wide range of views and discussions is so valuable!

    Whatever happens I wish you continued success with beating your cancer and hope you are NED for many many years to come.

  • scatsm
    scatsm Member Posts: 296 Member
    #5
    Tethys, I am sorry to hear this news.

    I took offense at one of the articles you posted and expressed my opinion. I do hope that this didn't contribute to your decision to leave the board. I was feeling very sensitive about the issue of Angelina Jolie's revelation as it hit so close to home. The article you posted was upsetting but I did not intend to drive you and your ideas away. If I did hurt you, I am sorry. We all deal with enough and I would not have wanted to add to your burdens. I hope you will reconsider.

    Susan

  • Alexandra
    Alexandra Member Posts: 1,308
    #6
    Stay well

    I am sorry that someone is cyber-bullying you Kate. It's fairly easy to trace an email, if you really want to confront her. But as they say "The best revenge is living well".

    I hope you reconsider and stay; you have a lot to teach others. 

    Best wishes,

    Alexandra

  • MJensen
    MJensen Member Posts: 93
    #7
    Attacks

    Very disturbing!   Hope you don't let he/she win and force you off the board!   Stay healthy and positive. Dont let the negativity of others bring you down.  Anyone can disagree with what you have to say and even say "I disagree" but no need for attacking insults!  Wish you all the best no matter what you decide to do going forward!    Wishing you bright sunny days always!  sincerely Michele

  • bosberg
    bosberg Member Posts: 19
    #8
    I'm not sure if this will

    I'm not sure if this will help you decide to stay, but please know these type of cyber bullies are everywhere. I belong to several horse forums and I can't believe  how ugly things can get over a difference of opinion and out right attacks on a user.

    I tend to not read certain posts from people who've been outright ugly to others.  

    Arn't there  moderators on here that would ban the harrasser in question from posting?

     

     

  • debrajo
    debrajo Member Posts: 1,095 Member
    #9
    Stay!

    My dear Kate,please take a break, but don't leave us!  Renew your spirit and come back to help educate us.  I know I am not from this board, but cancer has made us kin.  You have helped me so much with the diet and the reasons behind it.  I understand your wearyness and the blind-sideness of some attacts.  I belong to several "Pregnancy and Infant Loss boards(I lost three children) and some of the stuff that goes on is just pure evil, but it is everywhere. Stupid, hurtful and downright cruel things are done and said that it just makes you sad.  Hope you hang around!  Best, Debrajo

  • Hearty Pioneer
    Hearty Pioneer Member Posts: 158
    #10
    don't let the bully win

    Tethys, it is great you bring new information and a different approach to fighting this disease. I hope you stay.

  • Rosamond M
    Rosamond M Member Posts: 86 Member
    #11
    Stay!

    "Tethys 41", please don't leave this group,

    Take a little time, if you want, to recoup.

    But please come back to post again soon

    That cruel,nasty stalker is clearly a buffoon!

    (I have already included you in "Just saying.....) 

     

  • lovesanimals
    lovesanimals Member Posts: 1,366 Member
    #12
    debrajo said:

    Stay!

    My dear Kate,please take a break, but don't leave us!  Renew your spirit and come back to help educate us.  I know I am not from this board, but cancer has made us kin.  You have helped me so much with the diet and the reasons behind it.  I understand your wearyness and the blind-sideness of some attacts.  I belong to several "Pregnancy and Infant Loss boards(I lost three children) and some of the stuff that goes on is just pure evil, but it is everywhere. Stupid, hurtful and downright cruel things are done and said that it just makes you sad.  Hope you hang around!  Best, Debrajo

    I am so sorry

    and so sad to learn that you have been the target of hatred and harassment.  While I totally understand and respect your desire to leave the board, I too hope that you will reconsider, especially after you've had a "break" and a chance to catch your breath.  You've been a blessing to this board and I have appreciated your information, perspective, and support.  You will be greatly missed.

    Please take care,

    Kelly

     

  • mamajc
    mamajc Member Posts: 22
    #13
    Rosamond M said:

    Stay!

    "Tethys 41", please don't leave this group,

    Take a little time, if you want, to recoup.

    But please come back to post again soon

    That cruel,nasty stalker is clearly a buffoon!

    (I have already included you in "Just saying.....) 

     

    Please Stay!

    Hi,

    I'm the new kid on the block, but I enjoy your posts; I think you are inspiring. I can understand how you feel, but I think you are a blessing.

    Joan

  • mopar
    mopar Member Posts: 1,972 Member
    #14
    THE VOTES ARE IN!

    Hope you'll change your mind.  We'd miss you. :(

     

    Monika

  • 2timothy1 7
    2timothy1 7 Member Posts: 345
    #15
    Tethys

    So sorry you are leaving. I've enjoyed/learned from your discussion. you will be Missed! I you will will reconsider & join us again in the near future!!!

  • poopergirl14052
    poopergirl14052 Member Posts: 1,183 Member
    #16
    2timothy1 7 said:

    Tethys

    So sorry you are leaving. I've enjoyed/learned from your discussion. you will be Missed! I you will will reconsider & join us again in the near future!!!

    Sorry to hear

    You are being bullied...this causes great stress..something we don't need battling this cancer. You do a lot of good for others and try your best to stay healthy. We have lost so many members on this board ..either from death or something else. I wish you well and have a lifetime of good health. Comeback if you want..you are always welcome here...and I speak for all of the ladies on this site....stay strong...Val 

  • wholfmeister
    wholfmeister Member Posts: 315
    #17
    You are strong

    I have admired your great inner strength.  You have sought knowledge and answers, made huge changes in your nutrition and lifestyle. And then cared enough about others to want to share what you had learned With us.  It is a sad day for all members of this forum when one of us feels she must leave us to find peace.  I don't know if our friend will ever come back, or if she will even see our comments.  Please, be kind to everyone you run into. Treat everyone with dignity.  It's the least we can do to honor Tethys, to honor our teal sisters who have died, and to honor the humanity within us.

  • Cafewoman53
    Cafewoman53 Member Posts: 735 Member
    #18
    This is wrong...


    You should reconsider, I don't know what you are going through but there must be a way to block and or report this person. If it is so bad I would consider legal action.

    You are extremely well informed about this disease and are very helpful,similar to the late Hissy Fitz.

    I don't  always agree with everything you say but I always read your posts because I know you are helpful and knowledgable. I take everything I read even medical reports with a grain of salt that is just me. This person is going to deprive the new people coming here for help of a great asset. You have to do what is best for you but we are your sisters and this is your home whatever you decide.

    Colleen

  • JoWin615
    JoWin615 Member Posts: 150 Member
    #19
    Thanks

    When I first joined in Feb., 2011, (and mostly lurked!), you and CarolenK were my favorites. You two were so smart and well-informed, and I learned a lot.  Thank you for that. 

    Shine on!

    Cheers, Jo

  • Pamela B
    Pamela B Member Posts: 108
    #20
    Oh No!

    This is terrible news. I have benefited immensely from your posts and appreciate all the information you have shared with me.  I don't think I would have the hope I do if it were not for your kind words and advice.  Please don't quit because of a few bad apples.  The rest of us need you!

  • kimberly sue 63
    kimberly sue 63 Member Posts: 421 Member
    #21
    kikz said:

    I am so sorry for what you

    I am so sorry for what you have experienced.  I had no idea this was going on.  I remember a couple of times when the posts got a little heated.  I even chimed in with others saying we want everyone to be able to express their thoughts and opinions.  I have admired your perseverance with the plan you have chosen to follow.  I have googled some of the things you have posted and admit I didn't think I had the resolve to follow them.  Not because I didn't see value in them, I guess I didn't want to give up my lifestyle.

    I hate the thought that someone that has gone through what we all have can be so judgemental and unkind.  I am sure the other ladies will join me in asking you to stay.  This is not a place for bullies.  The only bully here is cancer and you know how we feel about that.

    I ditto that!! Kim

    I ditto that!! Kim

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