Checking In Before Things Get Under Way…

Craig,

As you know my cancer returned in April of this year, I have mets in my liver and abdomen wall, and a spot in my pleural. I lost 25 pounds, was as tired as I've ever been, and was starting to think that this was the beginning of the end.  My Onc told me that chemo is my only option. Just what this seasoned veteran of 8.5 years wanted to hear,  the thought of going back on chemo made me crazy. I've already taken 50+ doses and look where its gotten me? Chemo is like shooting yourself in the foot every 2/3 weeks. You walk in the hospital feeling pretty good and you leave the hospital feeling like sh1t! It's just wrong!  It took me a week to come to grips with my reality, I committed to go as hard and long as I can with Folfox.  Today, after 5 doses, I've gained the weight back (no ketogenic diet here, I love food to much), I'm still a little tired, but nothing like I was three months ago, and I'm back at work full time.   Anyways, I'm certain, if it were not for the chemo, I might not be here today.  I understand that my results could change in a few months, but for now, I feel good and feel like I can do battle again.  I hope and pray that you get the similar results! Hang in there...

Best regards,

Buster...

Sundanceh said:

Thanks for your comments...

I got a reply back from the editor...I had sent her an email letting her know to contact me at home after today so I could review and approve the final layout for the magazine story. 

I think somewhere along the line, I really must have gotten to this gal...

She sent me something that touched me this morning....and it reaffirms in me the power of the written word...and how you can touch someone you don't even know through your words...and how we can move in concert with one another to make a difference in each other's lives - and the lives of others.   

Here is what she said and I'm sure she wouldn't mind me sharing.  I had let her know that my cancer had come back once again and to forward all correspondence to my home email.

From Jessica:"I'm sure your story will touch those in need. I know your positive attitude sure brightens my day. We're rooting for you (and Big Billy)!"

Anyway, that lubricated my eyes this morning:)

 

It's nice to be able to reach out and touch folks.....and I'm reminded of what I'll miss the most when I'm gone...and that's my biggest hurt for all that know me.

 

-Craig

 

Craig, thank you again for sharing so much with us.  We all care about you and Jessice summed it all up in 3 simple sentences.  Thank you for reaching out to me, you have changed my outlook on life and cancer.  You have influenced and helped so many like me, for that I will be forever grateful.  I will be sending good thoughts to Texas tomorrow while you start your next treatment.  I'm sorry you've had to go through so much and wait so long and then to be disappointed in the treatment plan.  Since I'm always sarcastic, I can't help but say "Let's get this party started"  That's what my husband said right before his first chemo treatment.  Hoping you tolerate this treatment and are feeling better soon!

Love, Linda

Sorry about all that you're dealing with right now.. glad you're off work for some well deserved rest.

YoVita said:

well

Sorry about all that you're dealing with right now.. glad you're off work for some well deserved rest.

ahhhhhh Craig.....here i am dragging my sorry a-se back down from the north to find your news.  Breaks my heart my friend to hear you so down ..praying  I can identify......who knows what fight numero 4 will feel like.......just so so sorry you have to gird up again.....I agree with those who have said get out of work if you can.....toxic environment? who needs it?????

chemobeamosteamo.....here we go again.....sending you love......mags

Craig - That just sucks!  Especially since you're in pain with the lung mets.  I hope that the FOLFIRI works for you again.  I'm considering going on it instead of XELIRI because I can tolerate a full dose, although the QOL is not as good.  I hope that you get some relief and quickly so that they will consider targeted treatments.  I'm glad you're taking off work for this, focus on the battle and take time with your family. 

I know we all try to stay positive and support each other, but I'm sitting her going ****, ****, ****.  Just not fair.  I know cancer, and life in general, is not fair, but ****!  Wishing you all the best as you start this latest battle.  You're in my thoughts, Traci

hippiechicks said:

Dear Craig....
I to have

Dear Craig....

I to have been away from the board for a bit fighting through treatments and such.  I am so sorry to hear you are going back into battle, however, I would like to share with you that duing my last treatment I shared a chemo pod with a fellow soldier who was "filled with tumors all over his lungs, liver and colon".  He is a much older than I .. probably by 40 years, but he is fighting and not giving up as we all are here, listening to his words ... "I am not ready to go anywhere", "I will not give up this fight", "Not now" ... where so inspiring to me.  He is also on my cocktail of Folfiri .. plus leucovorin ... His great news to me was ... all his tumors are GONE in his liver and lungs ... his story gave me chills. He was not even able to walk up his front stairs do to being unable to breath .. but now he can again and is walking and enjoying his life again.  

I have much hope for you .. I know how horrible it is to face recurrence ... but knowing you are not ready to give up and taking time now for YOU is the best thing in the world!!! 

I would like to share with you, I have begun acupuncture for the chemo side affects and I can tell you hands down it is working!! I am not sure your exact location, but there is a network of what is called community acupuncture which is MUCH cheaper (usually sliding scale) giving people such as ourselves more freedom to go as needed and affordable.  I also would like to share I have begun physical therapy to control the muscle and joint pains with much results as well.  I have also discovered through my nutritionalist that LEMONADE works for getting the fluids in .. it cuts through the icky mouth taste .. and my own invention which also works is an orange coolatta with a hint of vanilla bean (tastes like a creamsicle) and works wonders .. get one for every treatment!! Oh, and I do wear sunglasses do to lack of eyelashes and light sensitivity all of the time! Even indoors for the real bright lights.

I wish you the best of luck for your upcoming treatments and hope you are able to find the inner peace and strength for your new battle.

Glad to hear that you are not working and taking time to focus on life   Take care and keep putting one foot in front of the  other.   We have to stick around fior that cancer cure.   Hugs.