New Endocervical Adenocarcinoma Diagnosis

Janette, I was diagnosed with stage iv vaginal cancer 2 years ago next month. My cancer was squamous cell, but there are others on this board who have similar diagnoses as yours. Just hearing you have cancer is scary as hell, then having to wait for scans makes things so much worse. Your PET scan will help your Dr. to see where your cancer is and to stage it. It sucks having to wait 2 weeks to have it done. When I was 1st diagnosed, it took an eternity (seemed like!) to determine where the primary cancer was. My husband told me we would take it one day at a time and keep our sense of humor. That turned out to be the best advice I could have. You can do this!!! Yes, it may be hard at times, but in those hard times we find our amazing strength to pull through. As I said before, there are others on this board & I'm sure you will hear from them soon. Keep your faith, we will all be cheering for you!!!!

D.

When I finally met the gyn onc and he talked about surgery I asked him what was he doing tomorrow?  I can laugh now but I would have gone for surgery the next day, but it did make sense to take the tests and make sure they knew what they were dealing with.

You really do want them to make the best plan, so if they offer you something to help you relax (I should have taken the Ativan!) it is OK! 

My twin sister would cry all the time. I asked her what would she do if it was her?  She said she would take it one step at a time and I told her that is exactly what I am doing.  Don't get too far ahead here, just one step at a time.  Take a breath.  If you do yoga or know someone who does, ask them to help you with some cleansing breathing exercises. 

No doubt all the wonderful women here will provide you the positive support you are looking for. 

Janette123 said:

Waiting for PET

Thank you all for replying.  This waiting is awful - almost cruel.  I have been breathing, visualizing, thinking positive, trying to laugh and still waiting.  I called the PET clinic to confirm that I am on a cancellation list.  I am pretty upset and very anxious.  Never never never thought it would be me!  I am sure this is a common feeling.  I have shared with very few - and found the reactions very disappointing and surprising from a few.  After I shared with one friend, I have not heard from her since...  I have heard you find your true friends and "Champions".  My best to the three brave woman who replied to my text and I so wish you the best.  I hold you in my heart.

Janette, I had many a long conversation with my friend from Salt Lake City while I waited for surgery.  I was a TOTAL mess!  Her advice to me was to try yoga breathing.  Having never taken yoga I had her tell me what to do. 

Lay down, no arms or legs crossed, just focusing in on your breathing.  Breathe in deep and imagine the air going throughout your body, to the ends of your fingertips and toes.  As you exhale imagine all the air gathering up all your tension and bad thoughts, from the very tips of your fingers and toes leaving your body and letting it go.  Focus on your breathing. 

I think a lot of us wouldn't even recognize ourselves if we looked back at the person we were then. 

We are here for you - we COMPLETELY understand. 

Janette123 said:

Others Reactions To Diagnosis

Thank you for your reply.  I will try the breathing more.  I have a friend (Breast Cancer survivor) that told me that you really find out who your true friends are during this experience.  I have been amazed and disappointed in some's reactions.  Two of my friends I shared with responded with no compassion - no hugs, no pats, no "I am sorry"...  One of these "friends" even changed the topic while I was sharing....  The other said "Oh, YOU are making ME cry...".  Here I am going crazy with anxiety, shock, grief and I am making HER cry.  And then I did not hear from her for days (she typically texts, emails ALOT).  And then when I did run into her (she lives quite close), she did not ask me how I was but talked about her self, her family, etc.  The other day she even came over into the house (She sorta just walked in after talking with a family member outside...)  with her grandson on her hip - who she let down and he started walking around our house....  I was clearly upset, depressed... This has made me quite upset - I see her quite alot....  I don't even know how to handle... in my mind know that it is best to surround myself with positive family, friends, other survivors that are willing to be helpful, supportive and loving.  And many I have told have been just that - providing very needed embraces, postive encouragement, etc. Others have told me that she "has alot on her plate" and implied I should be patient, flexible....  That made me feel even worse - like I AM DOING something wrong with this woman.  I really don't feel like excusing her behavior... and really feel that I do not want her standing by my side as I progress on this journey... Upsetting because she has been close, really helpful and somewhat involved with our family....  I think maybe I should just be honest with her and tell her I was so dismayed when I shared and she started talking about something else - and did not provide the compassion that I so needed.  Have you experienced this?  Advice?

Janette123, I think some people - even really good friends - can't find the things to say. 

I had one guy who used to stop by my office to chat and as soon as I got cancer?  Never saw them again until many, many, many months later.  He saw I was still the same person and when I made some comment on being tough he said, "you are the fighter" and it brought tears to my eyes.  He just never knew what to say, and rather than say the wrong thing, he just stopped coming by. 

How many of us on the board could tell you horrible things that have been said to us but I try never to judge them to harshly.  They never meant anything - they just didn't know.  

Find the people who love and support you.  I was blessed with my best friend.  She was with me for all the tough things.  When I got up from the hospital bed after surgery one of the hospitals maxi pads they put between your legs stuck to me and then fell on the floor.  I saw her pick it up and we laugh about it now - the love of a friend to pick up the maxi pad that falls off your privates!!!

I wanted to focus ON ME and what I needed to do to get better and heal. 

This is a huge punch in the gut, so take a minute to settle down.

I was diagnosed on 2/4 with UPSC (changed to endocervical adenocarcinoma after surgery) and didn't have the CT done until 2/28, which was just prior to the surgery on 3/6.  In hindsight, there wasn't a great deal of time between diagnosis and surgery, but it felt like FOREVER.  During that time, I meditated, prayed, cried, researched and slowed down in preparation for surgery.  Take this time to focus on YOU as you wrap your mind around this diagnosis and your new normal.  Things will speed up as you get closer to surgery.

As for friends...I am still dealing with the surprising changes I've made in that area.  Good friends weren't there and peripheral friends stepped up to the plate.  Amazing. I now hold these "new" friends very close and, regarding the "old" ones, try to understand that everyone cannot deal with major illness.  In the meantime, this board is a great place to come for support.  

YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS!!!  

{{Hugs}}

Fighting