T,

I have read some of the threads you mentioned (portland2?) and find their determination and the OCF participant’s answers interesting.  I don’t know how to help someone who is determined to blame their ailment on cancer, no matter what the tests reveal.  Why would anyone want to join this club? 

After a controversial (new) thread last summer, I decided to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and leave mental health to someone else.  That is not to say that a blatant untruth or demeaning remark doesn’t deserve an appropriate response.  I just don’t have the time or the insight to participate in every thread.

Reading between the lines,

Matt

Ron Silver said:

Very Subjective

We are in no mans land with respect to the subject at hand.  Is it reasonable to now abstain from alcohol including mouthwashes that contain alcohol?   Is it reasonable to not smoke after a lifetime of smoking?  Is it reasonable to no longer drink any soda after consuming three or four cans a day for many years?

 

Just because one is paranoid doesn't mean someone is not out to get them.  Cancer is out there, it is out to get me, it is always in the shadows waiting to rear its ugly head.  Every pain every ache triggers the "is it cancer" thought.  I submit that for all of us it is sane and reasonable to live our lives constantly aware of the boogy man (cancer).  

The person I was referencing above, might have been out of context as they found our forum, without ever being Dx for cancer...., or anything actually. As have several others..., mainly by way of as T syas, Dr. Google... looking for diseases that match the symptoms they think they have.

As for "Every pain every ache triggers the "is it cancer" thought.  I submit that for all of us it is sane and reasonable to live our lives constantly aware of the boogy man (cancer). "

I was pretty much like that for the first few years post Tx... But I think I've evolved or maybe just become more comfortable as I'm now four years post Tx and (knock on wood)... all has been clean and clear.

Aware, definitely, I just think I'm past the point of being constantly paranoid...

I can breathe easy during an ailment.... for the first week maybe, LOL.... It doesn't consume me like it once id though.

JG 

Skiffin16 said:

Maybe or Not....

The person I was referencing above, might have been out of context as they found our forum, without ever being Dx for cancer...., or anything actually. As have several others..., mainly by way of as T syas, Dr. Google... looking for diseases that match the symptoms they think they have.

As for "Every pain every ache triggers the "is it cancer" thought.  I submit that for all of us it is sane and reasonable to live our lives constantly aware of the boogy man (cancer). "

I was pretty much like that for the first few years post Tx... But I think I've evolved or maybe just become more comfortable as I'm now four years post Tx and (knock on wood)... all has been clean and clear.

Aware, definitely, I just think I'm past the point of being constantly paranoid...

I can breathe easy during an ailment.... for the first week maybe, LOL.... It doesn't consume me like it once id though.

JG 

I hope to have my "constantly aware" diminish over time as it appears it has for you.  I have this inner battle over what is reasonable behavior.  Does my situation warrant becoming a cancer diet eating, exercising, alcohol, coffee, caffine, sugar,  and nicotine abstaining health nut (the type I ridiculed before my encounter with Mr. C).  Do I need now to sell my guns, buy a Prius, and vote for Obama?  14 weeks post treatment leads me to contemplate doing just about anything to avoid another encounter with Mr. C.  Funny how our priorities change. 

Ron Silver said:

I hope to have my "constantly

I hope to have my "constantly aware" diminish over time as it appears it has for you.  I have this inner battle over what is reasonable behavior.  Does my situation warrant becoming a cancer diet eating, exercising, alcohol, coffee, caffine, sugar,  and nicotine abstaining health nut (the type I ridiculed before my encounter with Mr. C).  Do I need now to sell my guns, buy a Prius, and vote for Obama?  14 weeks post treatment leads me to contemplate doing just about anything to avoid another encounter with Mr. C.  Funny how our priorities change. 

What was once big, now not so much...

The things, prople, etc..., that once were neglected, or shown little importance, now are huge...

As mentioned, I think (personally), you can't live your life in a bubble... Like T, that's not living..., yes, be aware, I think you can probably do most anything, eat, drink, etc... But be conservative, definitely not over indulge...

I'm not a smoker, not have ever been..., so to me and with all the evidense showing disease I don't see why anyone would indulge. But that's easy as I'm not a smoker, LOL... Why do some people smoke their entire life and not get lung cancer...

Each of us are individual, bring our own baggage, and I guess just the luck of the draw...

I have a co-worker..., a smoker..

He asked about my throat cancer, and the fact I never smoked... His reply..., "well damn, I better keep smoking", LOL...

JG

TracyLynn72 said:

My mother

Is an extreme hypochondriac.  I'm not being funny, it's terrible.  She was diagnosed with breast cancer a couple of years ago and was relieved.  Yes, I know how sick that sounds.  She was so "glad" to finally have a diagnosis (after being tested for everything under the sun) that once her tumor was removed and she had only 15 rads, she didn't know what to do with herself.  She insists that she has cancer still and that it just hasn't been found yet.  She was like this before cancer and I think will always be like this. It's very sad and extrememly frustrating to me.  She lives on pain meds (docs will prescribe them at will for her) because her "cancer" hurts.  The oncologist can't find any reason whatsoever for pain. She has been given a clean bill of health, but instead of enjoying it, she constantly looks for something wrong.  I truly think this is why I don't do pain meds.  I avoid them at all costs just to not follow in her footsteps, so to speak.  She has told everyone how tough MY cancer experience was on HER.  It's a sad state for her and one that causes me to lose my patience with her often. 

that I don't sound mean or unsympathetic.  I love my mom, but it's so hard to deal with someone who is so negative all the time.  It's difficult to discuss health issues (that aren't there) every time you speak to them.  She insists that "cancer isn't done with her yet" which makes me sick to hear.  I got the all clear and I'm thanking God for my life.  We are so opposite about things! 

me being me....I had to go to OCF and see what was going on over there..... Couldn't stop myself...

The boogie man is always in the back of my brain, and the closer I get to a scan the more he manufactures symptoms to keep anxiety at a barely managable level.  The time between scans, the boogie man only gets a blip here and there, unless I'm having one of those nights where "the committee" meets in my head to keep me awake for hours while they discuss it (rare).  I remind myself that in the 5 months before I was diagnosed, I KNEW something was amiss....just not what...and throat cancer wasn't in the list of my potential possiblities.

The guy that Matt referred to....he definately doesn't have HNC, after all his testing....but because he is in significant pain, I'd venture to say something is wrong....just not the worst possible senerio....the big C.  I have noticed on OFC (more than here) that people tend to go there thinking they have HNC, but without ever going to a Dr. to check it out.  So many of them are in their 20's and early 30's....I always wonder what even made them think of HNC first run out the gate??

I haven't seen many of the folks here head for the Dr. terrified over the small things that plague us after treatment....of course there's always a niggler thought..."what if".....but waiting a bit seems to be the way most of us handle the boogie man.

p     

donfoo said:

sometimes I wonder

The power of one's mind over body is amazing and demonstrated in many seemingly super human or unnatural acts. Self fulfilling prophecies are yet another example where one's beliefs, will, conscious and unconscious actions, and internal body functions control and make the body do things that don't normally occur. Folks like your Mom really give me pause and wonder if one's mind is so set to some belief so strongly, in this case, cancer, that the body does actually subconsciously generates more stress hormones and other sorts of internal chemical interactions that actually stimulate the growth of cancer cells or convert otherwise healthy ones into cancer.

The flip side of the coin is those who have cancer sometimes seemingly find a way to stop or kill it in unconvential ways. Same as above in reverse - will one to good health.

Lastly, there is the power of prayer and grace of God. Whether he directly makes you well or your belief system makes this happen is yet another way one's mind is able to maybe produce good outcomes. Maybe in the future as we learn more about brain science, some of this phenomenom will be proven out. don

LOL..., you're saying things that I have... I can hear a PEG scolding coming on.... Mind over Matter..oooppps , I mean body..., how dare you..., LOL.

JG

what can we do to help ourselves?

Other than just treating the symptom with a vial of pills, helping oneself get to the root of anxiety disorder is not a trivial matter. For us here, we need to look back over our lives and examine times when we have experienced various levels of anxiety and when and how it was put away or contained to some managed level. I suspect most of us here manage anxiety of the daily variety well and really only during major events do we experience anxiety to a degree where it effects our daily thinking. I suspect the anxiety subsides once the crises is past.

With cancer, I think of it differently as a cancer diagnosis puts us into a "chronic" lifetime state of having it return or setting off long term nasty side effects. Bundled with the diagnosis was a complimentary boogie man doll we hang in our closets, just there as a constant reminder.

The anxiety is never banashed completely as we all know that cancers are far greater for those who have previously been diagnosed and treated. Each of us must recognize this -  it is unique and different than the reasons for anxiety we have encountered in our past. Maybe the ways we managed anxiety before will not work in this case, maybe they will, maybe it'll require new tools to cope.

Each person needs to be aware we are dealing with anxiety due cancer, among other things, and need to manage it just like any other medical condition although there are likely different therapies offered by different practitioners.

more importantly, help others?

As you have pointed out, is can be very difficult for people to listen to what is being suggested. Equating it to "hard heads" that just don't want to listen or take advice is similar to the behaviour of the folks we come across from here occassionally.

Recently, I have seen the range of responses from members to some of these poor souls. First, there are earnest suggestions and offers of understanding to what appear valid concern over potential cancer. Soon enough though, it becomes apparent there is a history of constant lack of recognition to what is being told to them by medical professionals and those on the forums.

Once it becomes clear the person is really not accepting any of the information, what happens next. Responses on the forum vary from no response as pointed out by Matt to continual engagement with the poster with more responses and even questions to bait yet another response and continuation of the dialog.  No matter where on the range each of us falls, there comes a point when one must concede this person is a "hard head" then resign and disengage as there is zero hope of getting through in a rational and meaningful manner.

fishmanpa said:

What the Mind Can Do...

I was reading about some of the things the mind can do when a person suffers from health anxiety. If it wasn't so sad, it would actually be comical.

Some examples of what the person thought was wrong and what was really going on....

I'm going blind! --- Dry eyes

West Nile Virus --- Stomach bug

Brain Cancer --- sinus congestion

Colon cancer because of red stools --- ate too many pistacios (that one made me ~lol~)

Woke up with my arm numb. Thought it was a heart attack --- arm fell asleep while sleeping

Thought I had a rare tropical disease because of bright yellow urine --- vitamin B tablets

When they say attitude is such a vital part of the cancer fight, they're spot on. Unfortunately, it can have the opposite effect on us.

"T"

 

list of missed "self-diagnosis".....chemo/rads messed up my eyes....and there was a time....a small time.....that I got nervous that maybe the rads had made my retenas start detaching....but no....I got some drops at Walmart for dry eye, and voila.....problem solved . 

p