Anger :(

Have you or she mentioned any of this to her doctors?  Sounds like she is in a severe depressive state, which with all that has gone one, is understandable.  That does not mean it is ok though.

She needs medical help.  This is not something you or your brother can fix by trying to do things for her.

As hard as it is, please know that it is not willfullness that brings this out in her.  Even if she had some of these traits before all these trials, they have just magnified the situation.

You need to speak with her doctors as soon as possible and get her the help she really needs.  That may be meds, or counseling or both.

You are a wonderful person to take care of her needs, but don't let this drive you to depression as well.

Wishing you all better days,

Marie who loves kitties

Seriously…..

Re:

“Should we just give up and leave her alone? She threw a temper last Sunday saying that she's NEVER alone--in two years she's never been alone (that's what she said) but I left from her home and went to work 10 hour days two of 9 days last week.”

She doesn’t need pills, she needs some space.

Call once a day, or every other day and ask how she’s doing and –if- she needs some help with something.

It sounds like well meaning people are smothering what they love…… Give her some air.

(that’s my opinion)

Be well.

John

LivinginNH said:

 Oh my, this situation needs

 

Oh my, this situation needs to change for all involved ASAP!  I agree with John, you need to speak with her doctor about him prescribing an anti-depressant like Zoloft to get her mood swings in check.  I'm sure that she doesn't like being angry all the time either, and then there's the guilt that she's feeling over yelling at you, and she becomes mad at herself.  This is a terrible cycle for both of you to be in.  And as John also mentioned, I too would "give her some space", it's good advice - and it sounds like you all could use a break from each other. 

Best wishes to you and your family, and please get her some assistance.

Cyn

I agree, you all need some space. Your aunt need space and time to mourn her losses, by herself. Anger is a part of mourning, and she has double the anger.

She does not mean to take it out on you, but really she needs to be alone for a bit.

You also need a little time for yourself to load up the batteries again.

My thoughts are with you,

hugs, Marjan

Life is hard enough with cancer.   Losing one's immediate family to illness and cancer makes it much more difficult.

In the stages of dealing with life inequalities, anger is very early. I would tell her the stages of anguish. Get over the anger and concentrate on the positive.  Start researching for the answers to the battle of cancer.  Anger is just a wasted emotion. Else, back off a notch until the anger clears. Why drag down in someone else's misery? (I am not saying it is easy.) I get down also then I try to find the positive, and progress.  I am no body special, just have a positive way of looking at my life.  Yes, it is my life and I can not bring people down or they will not support me. It does seem imple, yet it is easy to ride in the ebb of hurt.

We just had an angry nurse during my last hospital stay.  I asked her to take a few minutes off, and reflect on why she is a nurse.  If it is not to help people, then you are in the wrong profession.   My Doc came in and checked in on me. He asked if everything was OK. I told him I was in pain, but the nurse needed some guidance in being happy. We heard him speak to the nurse out side our room.  She came in very uptight but professional.  An hour or two later she came in my room teary eyed. I asked er what was wrong. She told me not to be nice to her because she was mean to me. I told her the moment has passed and I did not hold anyhting against her.  She broke out in tears.  I asked her what was wrong?  She told me I was to nice to her being mean to me.  I told her look, we all have our moments.  If I was judged by every time I had a bad moment, I would cry.  We all need to forgive and leave the past behind us. It is OK to have a moment, do not let the moment define you.  She was a woderful nurse for the next few days. She would have nice converations with us about her family.  We all need forgiveness.

Tell your aunt to get on the CSN.  If nothing else read other's battle with cancer. 

Best Always,  mike

PS We are sending our thoughts and prayers for your Aunt to find solace.

OH MY GOD I'm so sorry to hear this, all that you are going through please don't take it personally. I know it's hard not too, but it's probably nothing you are doing, I can relate to what your aunt is going through, I'm stage four myself and lost my son to sucide two years ago which then tore his mother and I apart last years so I kind of know how angry she is.  It's not fun and its not something she can fix or something you can fix she needs professional help. It took me being in counseling for two years before I could even think straight. Please don't blame yourself or her.  Just try to get her some help...will keep you all in my prayers.

phugs

beth

Marianne313 said:

to everyone here...

To Marie, Mary, John, Cyn, Marjan, db8ne1, Mike, Sophie and Beth---and anyone else who happens to drop in

First and most importantly, thank you ALL for your words of wisdom and your thoughts and prayers and suggestions--I appreciate them all very much. I mentioned to her Dr.s how angry she is, they didn't really say anything and they didn't prescribe anything...I will not give up on that conversation though! As for anger management---haha--no offense but truse me when I tell you that she will not go see anyone, she's stubborn that way and she's always been the one to give care to everyone else. She mentioned several times that she's not used to anyone being nice to her or caring for her and that it's hard for her to accept. We hug her and tell her we love her every time we see her and when we leave. I leave notes for her in the morning since I leave for work at 4a.m. and don't return to her home til about 6 or later (traffic sucks). I have come to realize that even though I worry about her possibly needing us or wanting to go somewhere or maybe her falling that I still need to give her some time alone. The hard part about that is, when I do try to leave she doesn't want me to go--the other day, she hid my car keys and just said that I need to be more careful about where I put them so I don't forget where they are. I will, I promise, try to give her alone time....it's just very hard because I worry so much.

Thank you again for all of the input and information--and Sophie, thank you for your message, you did not bother me at all. I wish you would speak more on here, for being so young you seem very wise and I love the things you had to say. I also LOVE your profile. Thank you.

Marianne

Hi,

I just posted about my Dad's anger.  I feel exactly the same way you do.  Thank you for sharing. 

-Julia